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Bf addicted to Adderall


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I'm really concerned about my boyfriend recently. He was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid and has taken Adderall ever since. But lately, he has been taking more than the doctor prescribes him so he will always run out of his meds before his next refill. As a result, he goes "doctor shopping" yet it's still not enough for him: he'll still run out of his meds. I can tell that he is moody when he is on the meds, won't sleep during the night and will spends lots of money on online purchases. If he is out of meds, he will still be moody and irritable and will sleep for 12 hrs plus. I've brought up the topic to him several times but he'll get mad at me, saying he wish he never told me he took meds. I'm not just worried about how his meds is affecting our relationship but more importantly, I'm worried how it causes him to downward spiral and ruin his life...

 

What should I do?

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You can't make an addict want to change.

 

All you can do is state your feelings, offer to help and remove yourself from the situation. Don't blame and don't accuse. Accept that he will be angry and defensive- addicts protect their addiction. It's what they do. Don't take it personally.

 

Just simply state "I don't want to be in a relationship with an addict. I love you. I'm worried for you. I'll help you. But I can't silently watch you fall deeper into addiction. I love you too much to watch this. So if you don't get help, I won't be in a relationship with you anymore."

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Just simply state "I don't want to be in a relationship with an addict. I love you. I'm worried for you. I'll help you. But I can't silently watch you fall deeper into addiction. I love you too much to watch this. So if you don't get help, I won't be in a relationship with you anymore."

 

Thank you so much for this. This is exactly what I want to let him know. Sadly, I'm pretty sure that he will choose his meds instead of staying in this relationship. :(

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Thank you so much for this. This is exactly what I want to let him know. Sadly, I'm pretty sure that he will choose his meds instead of staying in this relationship. :(

 

Of course he will choose the meds.

 

I hope you don't take that personally. He's addicted and nothing will get in the way of his high.

 

Consider not dating him. It's heartbreaking to watch his destructive cycle.

 

You can't help him change it. Please know that.

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These meds are pharmaceutical speed right? If it is I would do some research on speed addicts... it's quite interesting and it should help something to klick in your thinking to not want to deal with this. Not trying to be mean to him, but let's just say I've seen and done a lot and can tell you that speed is right up there with all of the radical drugs that are hard to quit for life...

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Icedlatte, he's caught in the ADHD stimulant trap. I'll explain.

 

Initially, for someone with ADHD, stimulants cause an extreme slowdown in thinking. It makes the person with ADHD get very mellow, agreeable and rather happy and able to focus and concentrate on one thing at a time. There's a problem with the stimulant meds for this. Very quickly, a tolerance develops. It takes more and more stimulants to get back to that mellow state.

 

Pureinheart is talking about speed for a non-ADHD person and that's another can of worms entirely. But, there is a similarity in what happens as far as addiction is concerned.

 

I have ADHD and was in this exact trap myself. Some people call it "chasing the dragon" because it's very similar to how a drug addict chases that initial first euphoric high they experience with drugs except with ADHD, the person is chasing that initial mellowing and focus they had. It's actually NOT OBTAINABLE. But, for someone with ADHD, once they experience being able to focus on one thing at a time and have patience like a "normal person", that in itself is addicting and they want it back. They aren't addicted to the drug but addicted to chasing down that feeling of normalcy at almost any cost.

 

Being that your boyfriend was medicated since he was a kid, he's had years of tolerance building up so now, attempting to regain focus and concentration again would take massive amounts of Adderall.

 

He'll never experience the focus and mellow feeling he had in the beginning ever again. His tolerance is sky high. Doctors know all about this, they are very familiar with it and when this happens, they usually try switching the patient to other medication types.

 

You said when he takes it he doesn't sleep. In the beginning before tolerance develops, when someone with ADHD takes stimulants like Adderall, they sleep like the dead! For someone like me or your boyfriend, "legal speed" is like a sledgehammer to the head and knocks us out cold. It's too bad about tolerance to the drugs. If they continued working like the first week and first month, the situation your boyfriend is in wouldn't happen.

 

Stimulants work backwards on people with ADHD so rather than looking for a high, he's looking for the exact opposite - feeling mellow and level. I can't explain to you in any amount of words what it's like to slow down for the first time and really relate to other people instead of constantly feeling like everyone is in slow motion! It's almost painful physically at times to try to slow down to focus and concentrate to relate to other people. And I also can't find a way to convey how upsetting it is to think of 10 things at the same time, every waking moment. After experiencing being able to focus on one thing at a time on Adderall, I still have my own days I crave it. But, understanding I'll never catch that dragon keeps me from even bothering with it.

 

One important thing: He didn't start taking Adderall for a high or for a euphoric feeling to have some fun. It's actually a medication for a problem he has. He's taking a medication prescribed for his problem so he's not actually doing anything wrong. We're not talking about a pothead or heroin addict here or an alcoholic.

 

You can't really expect him to never be medicated but his tolerance to Adderall is very high now. He needs to switch to another medication that will work for him. It is scary to get used to how a certain medication feels and think of switching to an entirely different one. Keep that in mind. Even, sometimes when something isn't working, it's familiar. A new medication can come with new side-effects and completely different dosages and a lot of unfamiliar territory. It's intimidating.

 

I want to mention also how you said without medication, he sleeps for 12 hours. Adderall has a withdrawal to it and it's quite intense, especially at high doses. Sure, he sleeps 12 hours but that won't last forever. Once the withdrawal is completely over, he'd be his unmedicated and non-withdrawal self. Sounds like he doesn't like who that is.

 

I'm sorry you've experienced the short temper of someone with ADHD because I know that isn't fun. My dad has ADHD so I don't just have it myself, I've been on the other side of it too. If your boyfriend gets on a different medication that will, at least initially, work like when he first started Adderall, he'll be a way happier campier who is easy-going and agreeable. That guy you'd probably like a lot!

 

A psychiatrist who is experienced with ADHD is his best bet as far as getting the right meds and at the right dose. They are the best people to tailor a treatment plan.

 

I wish you luck!

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Icedlatte, he's caught in the ADHD stimulant trap.

 

Thank you so much for taking the time to explain this! I think I have a better understanding now instead of getting upset at him and accusing him of something different.

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Late to the party.

 

 

I am diagnosed with ADHD and am an entrepreneur (most of us are on Adderall). I have a real diagnosis unlike my business partners and associates that 'have a doctor buddy'.

 

 

If you read into it, Adderall is not an addicting substance. Not physically, at least. From what I've seen, the only type of person that gets addicted to it are those with EXTREME addictive personalities.

 

 

Here's the kicker. If he's addicted do Adderall, he's addicted to other things (or is at risk of being addicted to other things). Most people I know that are addicted to the substance have many other vices. Drinking or chew, for example.

 

 

What you need to know is he can't change his personality. He will always get addicted to things easily (whether it's drugs, habits, or feelings). Unless he knows that about himself and is willing to control it...there is nothing you can do.

 

 

I agree with everyone else that has posted that he needs to know how you're feeling and decide if that's important to him. If it's not, then it's not fair to you to waste so much time and energy trying to change someone that doesn't want to.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I used to personally have a huge problem with adderall in the past. I was using it to help me stay focused and give me cognitive energy to drive through the day. Eventually I found myself eating several capsules of adderall a day unto the point of getting chronic headaches.

 

I eventually tried a variety of nootropics to help with this and I found that Adrafinil and Piracetam helped me the most in getting focus and in improving my overall memory. I would highly suggest checking out nootropics and seeing if they could help him with his addiction to adderall.

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One important thing: He didn't start taking Adderall for a high or for a euphoric feeling to have some fun. It's actually a medication for a problem he has. He's taking a medication prescribed for his problem so he's not actually doing anything wrong. We're not talking about a pothead or heroin addict here or an alcoholic. .

 

Yes he is doing something wrong, he's abusing prescription medication, just like people who become addicted to percoset or oxycodone!

 

He needs to see a doctor and get on another med, not self-overprescribe the one he has now!

 

He's being reckless, irresponsible and is already on the way to being an addict if he isn't already.

 

Saying he's doing nothing wrong is severely downplaying a serious issue. Abusing Rx drugs is one of the major ways people become drug addicts.

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