Young Christian Girl Struggling with Pornography

[ThatGirl306]

So I'm Christian and I like to think I have a good relationship with God. My problem however is that I am struggling with porn and masturbation. It all started last year. I was going through a very difficult time in my life (emotionally) and still am.

 

One day I logged on to facebook and saw a pornographic image on my newsfeed. I was shocked by the image but I wasn't really sure what was going on in it so I clicked on it out of curiosity. The image took me to a porn website where there were even more graphic images of ppl having sex. I had never seen such a thing before (as I am a virgin) and was really shocked by the images I saw. Out of curiosity, I continued to browse through the site. That day, for the very first time in my life, I actually saw ppl having sex.

 

Ever since that day, I haven't been able to stop watching porn. I would watch it at least once a week and masturbate afterwards or while watching it -__- I would always feel EXTREMELY guilty afterwards. Sometimes I would try to quit but after two weeks, I find myself watching it again. I really don't know what to do. I have no idea how to stop. Please help me. I feel really guilty because I know I am not being a good Christian by watching porn and masturbating. I've prayed a lot about it but still haven't been able to stop I really really need help

[somedude81]

Millions of people men and women masturbate to porn.

 

Watching it once a week is nowhere even close to an addition.

[ThatGirl306]

Well, if I can't stop watching it, wouldn't that be counted as an addiction? Also I am a Christian and this makes things even worse.

 

I can't claim to love God but yet still do things that make Him unhappy with me. It is better to not be a Christian than to be one who doesn't act like one.

[evanescentworld]

Could you indicate to mew where in the Bible it actually tells you that fornication, sex, making love, are sinful? Where does it say "You shall not watch porn!"

 

I have two very good friends, (although we fell out of touch now, since I moved away from where I used to live) who are devout Christians. They are active members of their Christian community and regularly attend Church.

 

They also have an open marriage, and agree that they can engage in sexual activities outside of wedlock.

As they are both content with this arrangement, both compliant, both very happy together and totally honest with one another, they see absolutely nothing wrong with this marriage.

 

so why or where precisely you picked up the idea that 'Porn is sinful, masturbation wrong and desire awful' I think you may need to re-evaluate what this is doing to you.

Because all I see, is damage, guilt and a seriously messed-up attitude, darling.....

[Ronni_W]

ThatGirl,

This site may help you through your struggles.

 

It's possible that you've opened yourself up to entities/spirits/forces from the astral realm...or rather, entities that want to use you to misqualify your Light (life energy) through misuse/perversion of your sexuality.

 

NOT that masturbation is a perversion...only that it no longer seems to be under your own control, which might indicate that it is under the control of some other (dark) force.

 

This article may also offer something new/different: The need for a higher vision of sexuality

[ThatGirl306]

Exactly, many Christians are dedicated to the church but they do not live by the word of God. And that is what I am beginning to do right now unfortunately and I really really want to stop because I truly do feel in my heart that I am not being true to my beliefs.

 

The bible condemns lustful thinking and this what porn causes me to do. Masturbation as well. There's nothing wrong with desire. It is natural to desire someone. However, acting on that desire (outside of marriage, according to my bible) is wrong. And I believe that God condemns lustful thoughts because He knows that thinking those thoughts is extremely likely to cause us to act on them. Like the saying goes: "Where the mind goes, the body follows".

 

And I should add that ever since I started watching porn, I am far more tempted than I ever was to engage in pre-marital sex.

[evanescentworld]

Honey, I'm sorry, but someone has seriously messed up your thinking.

I cannot in all honesty agree with anything you are thinking, on these lines.

 

I guess then, you really don't want to hear my advice.

 

If you want to hear "Yes, you are being sinful, yes, what you're doing is a crime against the lord and yes, you will be damned if you don't stop and repent!" Then fine, go ahead and listen to that kind of advice.

 

To me, it's screwed up, makes a mockery of your natural, beautiful and wholly acceptable sexuality, and has done more to damage healthy sexual appetites for Christians than anything else you could think of.

 

Love your body,. Enjoy what you do.

Quit beating yourself up about it, and just let go of the stupid, mind-restricting, complex-creating ideologies placed in your head by those who in all probability have more skeletons in their closet that you could ever imagine.

 

Religion messes people's brains up. I think it's tragic that it has had this effect on you.

 

Good luck.

Over and out.

[seany25]

Masturbation is completely natural & it is ridiculous to think its wrong just because "God" is watching.

 

I do not wish to be disrespectful but some aspects of religion is farcical.

[endlessabyss]

Could you indicate to mew where in the Bible it actually tells you that fornication, sex, making love, are sinful? Where does it say "You shall not watch porn!"

 

I have two very good friends, (although we fell out of touch now, since I moved away from where I used to live) who are devout Christians. They are active members of their Christian community and regularly attend Church.

 

They also have an open marriage, and agree that they can engage in sexual activities outside of wedlock.

As they are both content with this arrangement, both compliant, both very happy together and totally honest with one another, they see absolutely nothing wrong with this marriage.

 

so why or where precisely you picked up the idea that 'Porn is sinful, masturbation wrong and desire awful' I think you may need to re-evaluate what this is doing to you.

Because all I see, is damage, guilt and a seriously messed-up attitude, darling.....

 

 

Why do Buddhist monks/nuns give up masturbation?

[evanescentworld]

Why do Buddhist monks/nuns give up masturbation?

 

 

Just to amend:

Why do SOME Buddhist monks/nuns From SOME Traditions give up masturbation?

 

Because it is an exercise in self-discipline and detachment from Worldly, transitory pleasures, connected with personal egoic sustenance.

 

But nowhere in Buddhism is it taught that such actions are wrong, sinful, incorrect or bad.

Many Monks are permitted to marry and have families, so to consider masturbation as something unwholesome and against moral principles, is simply ridiculous.

[Priv]

They also have an open marriage, and agree that they can engage in sexual activities outside of wedlock.

As they are both content with this arrangement, both compliant, both very happy together and totally honest with one another, they see absolutely nothing wrong with this marriage.

 

From a Christian standpoint that is sin.

 

 

Thou shalt not commit adultery

Thou shalt not covet your neighbours wife

 

 

We could debate the 'it is all done in the open' thing, yet I missed spotting the small print in the bible and I think it is pretty clear as to where Chirstianity stands on this.

 

 

As for pornography I think the church went a bit too far (and than some) with the impure thoughts thing. I agree with all other posters that masturbating and pornography is not sinful in itself. He would not make us sexual beings if that's what He had in mind.

 

 

Personal opinion, I think it is only healthy to explore your sexuality.

[evanescentworld]

From a Christian standpoint that is sin.

 

 

Thou shalt not commit adultery

Thou shalt not covet your neighbours wife

 

 

We could debate the 'it is all done in the open' thing, yet I missed spotting the small print in the bible and I think it is pretty clear as to where Chirstianity stands on this.

I am certainly not going to argue those points with you - you're entirely right - and they understand those factors, too.

My point in mentioning them, was to indicate - as they have said to me - 'What we do, is between ourselves and our Maker. We don't judge others, and we don't consider it valid if other humans both judge and dictate what we do.'

 

Granted, they have liberal attitudes, which admittedly go against Biblical instruction - but when you consider that the Verger of their church - a married man with children - approached her intent on seduction, and he apparently subsequently conducted an affair with another female member of the congregation, in secret - well, who of them is the most hypocritical?

 

As for pornography I think the church went a bit too far (and than some) with the impure thoughts thing. I agree with all other posters that masturbating and pornography is not sinful in itself. He would not make us sexual beings if that's what He had in mind.

 

 

Personal opinion, I think it is only healthy to explore your sexuality.

100% with you on that.

(I need to look where in the Bible, pornography is condemned as sinful....

[endlessabyss]

100% with you on that.

(I need to look where in the Bible, pornography is condemned as sinful....

 

 

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+5%3A28&version=ESV

[endlessabyss]

Just to amend:

Why do SOME Buddhist monks/nuns From SOME Traditions give up masturbation?

 

 

Because it is an exercise in self-discipline and detachment from Worldly, transitory pleasures, connected with personal egoic sustenance.

 

 

From what I have gathered thus far, Buddhist monks/nuns have to give up masturbation if they desire to live the monastic lifestyle..

 

But nowhere in Buddhism is it taught that such actions are wrong, sinful, incorrect or bad.

 

 

In Buddhism, lustful desires fall underneath one of the five hindrances, according to Walpola Rahula.

 

 

So, even under Buddhism masturbation (which is a form of lust) has a negative connotation.

 

 

Many Monks are permitted to marry and have families, so to consider masturbation as something unwholesome and against moral principles, is simply ridiculous.

 

 

Not all priests, in the Christian faith, are forbidden to marry and have a family, and to the latter, it doesn't seem as Buddhism endorses lustful behavior from what I have gathered (reference 5 hindrances)

[endlessabyss]

 

As for pornography I think the church went a bit too far (and than some) with the impure thoughts thing. I agree with all other posters that masturbating and pornography is not sinful in itself. He would not make us sexual beings if that's what He had in mind.

 

 

Personal opinion, I think it is only healthy to explore your sexuality.

 

If one can handle masturbation without the thoughts of any women/men, I don't think that it becomes a problem.

 

 

Viewing porn is a sin; there's no way to get around it. Jesus and Paul touched on lust many times in the NT.

[Priv]

Yep, and than one quote has been turned around to guilt trip people into thinking sexuality is a sin. What exactly is lustful intent and more importantly how can a young single girl ever commit adultery?

[endlessabyss]

Yep, and than one quote has been turned around to guilt trip people into thinking sexuality is a sin.

 

 

This explains it better:

 

 

Masturbation - is it a sin according to the Bible?

 

 

http://carm.org/masturbation

 

 

The passage from Matthew is not a direct response, but runs parallel to the discrepancy.

 

 

For a Christian, there is nothing wrong with sexuality, as long as it is practiced under the proper guidelines (marriage).

 

 

The problem Christians experience with this is that society, as an aggregate, doesn't share these norms, so people can't uphold to the standard Christ set.

 

 

Since marriage is a dying institution, and Christians desire to release built up sexual tension, they have to do it through masturbation, or loose sexual relationships.

 

 

I'll agree, the whole thing is unreasonable by todays standards. I've struggled with this a lot, and it was a huge reason I stepped away from Christianity. But, now that I want to re-establish a relationship with Christ, I am willing to suffer, and find a way to discipline my brain to defuse urges when they sprout up.

 

 

Am I going to be able to fulfil this for the rest of my life? I don't know, but I am going to try my best. Christ knows the heart, and He will forgive if you slip up.

 

 

I guess it's up to the individual to decide what they want to do, but I think it is pretty clear the Christ spoke out against lust.

 

 

What exactly is lustful intent

 

 

This is pretty self explanatory.

 

and more importantly how can a young single girl ever commit adultery?

 

 

Reference link.

Edited December 24, 2014 by endlessabyss

[endlessabyss]

I don't know if anyone else shares the same sentiments, but I see masturbation as a pathetic, desperate act, if you're single.

 

 

You're basically going to self stimulate to the idea of some person who wouldn't have intercourse with you otherwise.

 

 

Watching porn is another depressing course of action. How cheap is it to have to watch two others have sex, because you yourself can't achieve this goal in reality? Then you end up using the images of these two actors to go and masturbate to the images of what you just watched.

 

 

Do you think that lowly of yourself that you can't find a real partner, and have to subject yourself to this pathetic method of sexual gratification?

 

 

These are my thoughts, and my thoughts alone, but I feel as if you a little bit of dignity every time you cave into the urge.

Edited December 24, 2014 by endlessabyss

[SincereOnlineGuy]

 

Viewing porn is a sin; there's no way to get around it. Jesus and Paul touched on lust many times in the NT.

 

 

 

Uh, yeah, and the "NT" is a work of fiction.

 

Most people are well aware of same.

[Satu]

Well, if I can't stop watching it, wouldn't that be counted as an addiction? Also I am a Christian and this makes things even worse.

 

I can't claim to love God but yet still do things that make Him unhappy with me. It is better to not be a Christian than to be one who doesn't act like one.

 

Error deleted..

Edited December 24, 2014 by Satu

[endlessabyss]

Uh, yeah, and the "NT" is a work of fiction.

 

Most people are well aware of same.

 

 

Where, in the fiction world of atheism? lol

 

 

I'm going to go off the assumption you need to tell yourself it's fiction so you can go on playing with yourself, while watching two humans have sex, so you can continue to do so with a clear conscious.

 

 

No need to tell me the NT is "fiction". I've already did my research, and have made my own inferences.

Edited December 24, 2014 by endlessabyss

[Rydo]

Where, in the fiction world of atheism? lol

 

 

I'm going to go off the assumption you need to tell yourself it's fiction so you can go on playing with yourself, while watching two humans have sex, so you can continue to do so with a clear conscious.

 

 

No need to tell me the NT is "fiction". I've already did my research, and have made my own inferences.

 

This post makes no sense.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

This post makes no sense.

 

 

 

With brainwashed people like that, you have to point out that their words make no sense.

 

I mean, first, you take a book, centered on a moment in time which was fully one-hundred years before paper was invented... and fully one-thousand years before paper was in widespread use in the western world... and you arbitrarily decide to believe every word written in it as potential justification for every dumb mistake or idea you have in life.

 

This in a world where a teacher can't even test a brief message said in whisper to a student in the first row, and have the same message in turn reach the last student in the same row two minutes later.

 

This in a world where there is overwhelming correlation between religious leaders and financial misdeeds, and overwhelming correlation between religious leaders and sexual misdeeds.

 

This in a world where the wars and political unrest are in staggering, disproportionate numbers matched to the clueless governments which cite religion as the backbone to their organizations.

 

The so-called "NT" is for people who just refuse to take responsibility for their own actions, be they admirable, or, more typically, poor actions. It is akin to having somebody else do your taxes (and your life) one day a year, only magnifying it by 365 days. (thankfully far more of us are willing to blindly believe that some guy paid to do our taxes knows a lot more about that subject than are willing to believe that some Bible thumper knows a lot more about life than we do, merely from reading the book of fiction)

 

Obviously (see the above) a person might do well to open a dictionary instead of the Bible, for a healthy and positive change.

 

 

But no... instead, we take what is probably a very normal, healthy young girl, and we cite some crazy book of fiction as a means of somehow scolding her and/or keeping her down, just so the religious among us can make themselves feel better.

 

The Bible and all of its absurdity can't even allow for the last 2000 years of evolution, particularly that of young females who are far from the relative cave denizens they once were. The phone never rings in the Bible... and any such ringing which may or may not take place in the Bible is never in the pocket of a young woman.

 

So how about we cut such a normal young person some slack, instead of damning her for all eternity just so that the religious among us can somehow feel better about themselves all at the expense of an innocent girl?

 

This girl should be writing to Dan Savage instead of writing to the very same body of people she already knows will tell her that she, and only she, is wrong. Dan Savage was raised with Catholic teachings and is now a widely-read sex columnist... and I'm guessing that Dan Savage would ease this young woman's thoughts and concerns more than would the religious among us.

 

Curiously, Facebook isn't in the Bible, and surely isn't endorsed by the Bible... so one wonders how she landed on Facebook in the first place.

 

Yet with all that goes on at Facebook, it can't be any surprise that a mostly innocent young girl was caused to confront modern day porn. But society owes her the reassurance that she is a very normal and healthy young person, and that it was the hush-hush nature of the Bible and all of its teachings which caused her to be so ashamed of this normalcy in the first place.

 

 

(and today's date is not lost on me - so thanks, religion, for all of the good cookies I ate today) (there must be a place in cookie hell for me) The difference is: I'm not going to spend any moment of the rest of my life feeling at all guilty about the cookies {unless one of them falls on the floor} (at which point I'll experience both anger and guilt).

 

Oh, and thanks as well for all of the things I am programmed/brainwashed to say at those moments when I've just hit my thumb with a hammer or the like.

[jellybean89]

Each person is entitled to their own views on porn and masturbation. I am pretty sure the majority of people have engaged in masturbation at some point in their life. There really is nothing wrong with it; especially if a person is saving themselves for marriage. Sexual gratification is a natural want/desire. Masturbation is 'better than' being a 'easy' girl.

 

Can I ask how old you are?

 

Continue to pray each day. Ask God to help you with your desire to watch porn. If you feel like you are sinning, ask God for forgiveness. Remind yourself that the devil is going to do things in your life to tempt you.

 

Good luck.

[evanescentworld]

From what I have gathered thus far, Buddhist monks/nuns have to give up masturbation if they desire to live the monastic lifestyle..

As I explained, some, not all.

 

In Buddhism, lustful desires fall underneath one of the five hindrances, according to Walpola Rahula.

Hindrance? Hindrance to what?

Examine those, and then it becomes more understandable.

 

Here they are:

Sensual desire (kamacchanda),

Ill-will (byapada),

Sloth and torpor (thina-middha),

Restlessness and remorse (uddhacca-kukkucca),

Sceptical doubt (vicikiccha).

But there is no concept of Sin, punishment or wrongdoing.

 

 

So, even under Buddhism masturbation (which is a form of lust) has a negative connotation.

Only as a hindrance. Not because it's bad, sinful, evil, wicked or perverted.

 

 

Not all priests, in the Christian faith, are forbidden to marry and have a family, and to the latter, it doesn't seem as Buddhism endorses lustful behavior from what I have gathered (reference 5 hindrances)

Yes, but only the Bible considers lustful behaviour to be wrong, in a sinful sense. Buddhism considers it wrong in an 'unskilful sense.

Note, it's a HINDRANCE.

It doesn't PREVENT, BAR, BESMIRCH, SULLY, DIRTY, and render someone profane or perverted.