Jump to content

Drunken fight


Recommended Posts

Ok, my boyfriend broke up with me, lately I've been drinking too much, stressed because of uni, owning a business and family problems. But I've started to blackout and in the hours hours I say the most horrible things, he said I'm like a demon. I have done this about 3-4 times in the last couple months. Night before last it happened again and he ended the relationship, he said he'll always love me but this isn't healthy. He's right of course.

To be honest, I start the drunken fights but he takes it way too far after.

Anyway, I'm going off the drink, I'm not an everyday drinker, but I am a binge drinker with wine. Going to AA for help.

Should also see a counsellor for childhood issues, nothing too drastic, but affecting my life nonetheless.

We wanted to spend our lives together, were going to move in together shortly.

I'm obviously in deep pain right now as it just happened and I love him very much. We never fight when sober.

He doesn't want to talk to me, and after calling about 20 times begging him to see me yesterday, I finally decided to hold onto what small pieces of dignity I have and do NC, haven't texted or called in almost 24 hours and I think I can continue.

He threatened to block me on iphone, but didn't.

Thankfully I have an exam on mon so I'm forced not to obsess over this all day. Haven't eaten and have sleeping trouble, but I have to focus on this exam.

Question is: do you guys think he'll come back if I just leave him alone?

I have apologized and told him I'm going to work on my issues and I hope to meet again in the future. No reply

We had a backpacking trip planned to Cuba next month, he cancelled his flight but I'm just going to go alone anyway.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh no, I'm so sorry. Cuba alone will still be awesome!!! I too, have a drinking problem. I'm a binge drinker with beer and wine. If I start drinking liquor again then it would be really bad. I try and try to stop drinking during the week. To at least scale my drinking back to a minimum, ya know? I can't stay sober for more than a day or two. I can't imagine not ever drinking again. I drink to the point of blacking out. /=

 

Regarding your ex, anything could happen. You really do need to leave him alone and focus on yourself as much as possible. I think you'll eventually hear something from him.

 

Best of luck to you! PM anytime if you want.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Yeah, I'm similar. I start off with the best of intentions, only going to have a couple drinks, never happens,don't think I've ever had a couple drinks in my life! A couple bottles of wine more like it. I tried to limit to once a week, no luck, tried moderation, very little luck.

What is concerning is the blackouts. They happen every time now :/ and I become a monster verbally, not yelling, driving, throwing things, but just being emotionally manipulative, mean.

I also find it hard to imagine a life of never having a drink again, no wine at dinner, no wine while writing ever again! Eek!

I'm just trying to keep the mindset that alcohol is not good for me right now in my life, I have to focus and keep positive and busy. Studying, connecting online with people, studying spanish, yoga, cooking, and those AA meetings help, as did your reply, nice not to feel like I'm the only one!

Super embarrassed about the way I acted the night he broke up with me, lucky for me I don't remember much, unlucky for him he does :/

I hope he comes back, but you win some you lose some :(

Link to post
Share on other sites

At least you have a sense of humor about crappy situations like I do. I can't just have a couple of drinks and stop either. I drink to get drunk. Why else? I hate when people ask "do you drink to get drunk? Or do you just enjoy the taste?" Stupidest thing I've ever heard. I've been drinking since I was 14. Clearly, I'm not ready to give up my LTR with alcohol. I drink a lot as well. I'm 110 lbs and 5'5" so I'm not a big girl but I drink like I am. I have a high tolerance. Of course, anyone would if they drank everyday. I was arrested for the first time in my life this past may for DUI. I got a lawyer who I'm paying out the @$$ for. Not to mention for all the other fees and fines that go along with being on trial for DUI. The worst thing is I wasn't even drunk. I had only had 3 1/2 beers. I was just unlucky. Got pulled over by an @$$hole cop who claimed I cut him off. I was pulled over IN my apt parking lot!!! I'm like WTF. This would happen to me. Out of all the times I drove just ripped out of my mind, I don't get pulled over but tonight, when I'm not even drunk ... WHILE turning into where my apt is. BS Now I have to pay for DUI classes to help win my case but back in early 2013 I voluntarily went to AA. I only went 3 times but I did like it a lot. I stopped going because I was being a hypocrite. I was a regular drinker who wasn't trying to quit. I'm still a regular drinker but trying to quit but not trying hard to quit at all. I've embarrassed myself plenty of times while black out drunk. He may come back but try not to be hopeful of that. Too much. Keep doing what you've been doing. When did he BU with you?

Edited by me85
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
At least you have a sense of humor about crappy situations like I do. I can't just have a couple of drinks and stop either. I drink to get drunk. Why else? I hate when people ask "do you drink to get drunk? Or do you just enjoy the taste?" Stupidest thing I've ever heard. I've been drinking since I was 14. Clearly, I'm not ready to give up my LTR with alcohol. I drink a lot as well. I'm 110 lbs and 5'5" so I'm not a big girl but I drink like I am. I have a high tolerance. Of course, anyone would if they drank everyday. I was arrested for the first time in my life this past may for DUI. I got a lawyer who I'm paying out the @$$ for. Not to mention for all the other fees and fines that go along with being on trial for DUI. The worst thing is I wasn't even drunk. I had only had 3 1/2 beers. I was just unlucky. Got pulled over by an @$$hole cop who claimed I cut him off. I was pulled over IN my apt parking lot!!! I'm like WTF. This would happen to me. Out of all the times I drove just ripped out of my mind, I don't get pulled over but tonight, when I'm not even drunk ... WHILE turning into where my apt is. BS Now I have to pay for DUI classes to help win my case but back in early 2013 I voluntarily went to AA. I only went 3 times but I did like it a lot. I stopped going because I was being a hypocrite. I was a regular drinker who wasn't trying to quit. I'm still a regular drinker but trying to quit but not trying hard to quit at all. I've embarrassed myself plenty of times while black out drunk. He may come back but try not to be hopeful of that. Too much. Keep doing what you've been doing. When did he BU with you?

 

Aw! That's a big fear of mine! DUI! What a nightmare :eek: I don't drive drunk, but lately with my blackouts who the hell knows what I'll do. I'm terrified to wake up in jail and learn I got into my car and killed someone. So at least that didn't happen to you!! See, always a bright side :p

But ridiculous things always happen to me too, I got pulled over and got a ticket for $115 because my tire was low!!! Not joking. Of course that would happen to me, luckily I wasn't drinking.

I'm an AA hypocrite too, was going to meeting but still drinking, but I'm going to try harder this time, I just get so bloody bored at night, so I got a job as a blackjack dealer for nights 7-3, then I have a business and school in the days, trying to keep too busy to drink. That's the plan anyway, I hope I can do it, but I don't particularly trust myself:confused:

 

He broke up with me two days ago, over the phone. The first few hours I called like a psycho and tried to get him to meet me. He threatened to block me on iphone but never did. He wasn't very kind. I think he broke up with me out of anger and because I said some nasty things I don't remember, and didn't mean. I adore him.

He said I tried to hit him, but that was an exaggeration, he was secretly filming me ( not sure why) and I slapped the camera away. I saw the film and it wasn't pretty, my eyes were blank and my mouth and lips were dark dark red from the wine haha! I don't care to see that little clip again...:/

To be honest I think he regrets it, we were deeply in love, had something beautiful, only bad when drinking. I think he knows he made a mistake and this is something that can be worked out, but he has too much pride to call. And I'm looking forward to making some positive changes, so if it's over that's ok. I've never had trouble meeting guys, so I know when I've gotten my sh$t together a bit more, I'll meet someone new, or he'll come back, if it's meant to be, it'll be.

I'm kinda pissed off at him for walking out on me though, I've been having a really rough time with my family lately and dealing with buried things in my past and childhood, and as soon as things get tough a bit, he leaves me. Which is good to know because we wanted to move in together, get married, he swore nothing would break us apart.

Then he leaves because I embarrassed him and acted like a demon when blackout. What will he do in the future when things get hard? What if we had a crisis in the future? Like if I lost a baby or something and I was super depressed, would he just walk out on me then?

Anyway, I've been no contact since after the first few hours, and even if he does come back I'm not sure I'll take him. I want a man who stands with me and supports me when I need him.

I know he doesn't deserve the bad drunk treatment and maybe I'm sounding self entitled here, but it's the way I feel.

Ok! Novel over!!!!!

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...