A question about alcoholism.

[lizlovesss]

Can they change by themselves?

I mean, if they decide is enough, can they really get sober and stay that way with only their will power and nothing else?

And by nothing else, I mean, help from AA groups or therapists and professionals in general. Can this happen, is it a realistic scenario?

Or it is better if they get help?

[HeartDesires]

I mean, if they decide is enough, can they really get sober and stay that way with only their will power and nothing else?

 

I've seen it happen...they completely lose interest in drinking.

[Priv]

Sure they can with enough motivation. But also kind of depends how far into their addiction they are. Waking up with a bottle of vodka it is probably better to get medical help at least as a precaution because quitting cold turkey can be deadly (delirium tremens, heart failure and such). And I don't see tapering off as a valid option at that point. AA / counselling etc. is just for support and learning to live without alcohol. Though at that point it will probably be welcomed.

[lizlovesss]

I see, so if they want to, they can do it.

However, I think they get several personality traits due to what alcohol did to their body's and minds. Will this cease by itself, or do they have to address it?

[HeartDesires]

I see, so if they want to, they can do it.

However, I think they get several personality traits due to what alcohol did to their body's and minds. Will this cease by itself, or do they have to address it?

 

When they are addicted to alcohol (and/or drugs) they don't grow as a person...so when they stop drinking they have to learn how to cope with stress and life's ups and down by not turning to the bottle.

[lizlovesss]

Yes, and it means they have to learn healthy ways to deal with stress, sadness and several other emotions. Can this really be achieved by the alcoholic on his own, or does it depend on the severity of his addiction?

[carhill]

Can they change by themselves?

I mean, if they decide is enough, can they really get sober and stay that way with only their will power and nothing else?

And by nothing else, I mean, help from AA groups or therapists and professionals in general. Can this happen, is it a realistic scenario?

Or it is better if they get help?

I've yet to see anyone 'change' significantly on their own, whether they be 'functional' or 'full blown' non-functional. So far, a few friends are still at it, to varying degrees, and one has died from it. By 'significantly', I'm talking about sobriety over years without intervention/support, whether that be in-patient detox or a 12-step program and its attendant sponsorship and support. The friend who died had both in-patient and 12-step and remained functional until nearly the end and in a job which required focus and professionalism.

 

I'm sure some people have done it on their own. I simply haven't met them or known them. My exW is currently in a LTR with a recovering alcoholic (a few decades recovered now) and AFAIK, he did it/does it with 12 step. Even with help, it still takes a lot of will and personal strength. God bless those who make it.

[Tayla]

Yes, and it means they have to learn healthy ways to deal with stress, sadness and several other emotions. Can this really be achieved by the alcoholic on his own, or does it depend on the severity of his addiction?

 

Technically speaking, no. Whether its thru others or medical attention, the overall success rate comes from the individual and garnering support thru others. we learn and grow not by ourselves but thru the variations of what works and doesn't. I've yet to see a genuine addicted person remain sober without the assistance in some way shape or form of another human involved.

Dry sober is not the same as sobriety.

 

Ultimately the recovering person is responsible for the process, yet it never hurts to have healthy support.

[EverLastluv]

my fiance is an alchoic. Its been 2 years and nothing works. Groups,AA metings, my support and family etc. I believe its only can be cure medically! Its a long process in the doctor office. My fiance dont like hospitals at all so its a struggle trying to get him to the doctor step by step. I managed to get him as far as taking blood tests. He NOT willing yet to do a follow up only because he dont want to know the next step to what was found in the blood test. I am strugelling with an adict. every moorning he drink beer b4 going to work. They are really sick physically & mentally. God bless those who cure them self.

[scobro]

Antabuse Treatment for Alcoholism

 

he could take this but has to want to stop or it won't work.

[LuckyLady13]

Sure, alcoholics quit every day without meetings, AA, doctors or rehab but they have to want it. And 99% of the time, they don't want it bad enough until they lose everything and I mean everything.

 

I'm sure you've heard of hitting rock bottom. And some have to hit rock bottom so hard they bounce off the bottom!

 

I was an alcoholic many moons ago now and it was bad. Couldn't do a single thing for the day until I drank half a quart of Jack Daniels first. I was in a bad place mentally and emotionally and numbed myself up first thing every day. I was completely sloshed drunk by noon. World spinning so fast I was dizzy. Basically...everybody hated me, called me names (which made it 10 times worse), my self-esteem was gone and I couldn't remember half of what I did the week before. But that wasn't helping me quit! I just tried harder to drown my sorrow and drown out the noise of people yelling at me. And it's as if they didn't notice I kept getting worse fast while they did this. I haven't spoken to any of those people in years though.

 

For me, in my mind back then, to lose everything meant to lose myself. My personality which is strong and creative. With all that stupid yelling and name calling people were doing, I felt horrible even though I knew none of it was true and I was surrounded by an abusive family and bad so called "friends" at the time. I knew the only way to get myself back again was to drop the alcohol and drop those people! That's what I did. And it was one of the best things I have ever done.

 

I had zero interest in AA meetings for a very good reason. I knew a whole bunch of people going to those meetings and they were all drunks, constantly falling off the wagon and meeting new buddies at the meetings to drink with. I genuinely wanted to stop so I knew hanging around groups of alcoholics was backwards. I got a new job in the "cleanest" place I could find. Not a single alcoholic or drug addict in sight anywhere. As a matter of fact, drugs and alcohol were so foreign to these people it was like I came from Mars. They were the exact influence I needed to be around all day to learn how to be sober, have a ball sober and deal with hardship sober.

 

Now, on the other hand, my dad went to 7 funerals in one single week for friends who died from alcohol! Typically, people don't quit. They drink until their last breath on this earth. One of those friends had just got out of the hospital that week after liver failure only to go to work and drink vodka first thing in the morning like he always did and it killed him.

 

Alcohol is as serious as heroin. It's not something to take lightly.

 

Even though I quit on my own and never turned back all these years, I don't trust an alcoholic to quit on their own because it's not what I typically see happen. If they have any chance at all of quitting, it's because they're at rock bottom and have lost everything.

 

For me personally, coming from an abusive family full of drugs and alcohol, I did what I knew like my parents and when the abuse was bad, numbed myself so this was learned behavior for me. And also, very personally, losing everything for me meant losing myself because I had nothing in this world to lose other than me. My personality, who I was...was all I had. That's how I hit rock bottom. I was weak instead of strong, taking abuse like crazy instead of standing up on my feet and stopping it and I was no longer creative at all.

 

Quitting alcohol, for an alcoholic, is so extremely hard to do that a lot of people don't make it out alive. But the worst thing I think for an alcoholic to have around? Enablers. Be that family, friends or a lover. They really need to lose everything.

[me85]

As an alcoholic, I can you tell you that one must have help. It's a disease. I've been addicted to alcohol and cigarettes since I was 14. Of course I didn't realize I was an alcoholic until this past year, but it's been a lifelong thing. I still drink…I'm drinking now /= but in the past I went to AA and found it helpful. I never shared my story, I just listened to others but it absolutely helps to get treatment.

 

I've tried to get a handle on it by myself but without treatment, it's only gotten worse.

 

Some people can stop on their own but the majority of people need treatment.

[beach]

People get and stay sober all the time.

 

Of course it helps if the drinker has made themselves completely miserable by drinking. Consequences help too - sometimes that helps the drinker get motivated to change.

 

I was a huge drinker almost 7 years ago. I became willing to do anything to get/stay sober.

 

Detox, meetings, sponsors, step work, sponsees and therapists. I needed to face my traumas and sadness head on and work THROUGH those issues. I did the hard work within the first 3 months and began helping others.

 

Yes, it can be done. It's VERY difficult - and it is COMPLETE FREEDOM to overcome alcohol - that substance that controlled my whole life when I drank.

 

I'll do anything to never go back to that dark place again.

 

 

For families and friends - there is Al-Anon - have you looked into that?

[Keenly]

My mother was an alcoholic for about 10 years.

 

One day she woke up, divorced her douchebag ex-husband, found god, and has been sober since I was about 17. So 8 years.

[Quiet Storm]

I come from a family full of alcoholics and addicts. I have seen a few quit on their own. I think a big factor is unresolved pain and underlying depression. They have to learn to cope with whatever they are numbing themselves from.

I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.-Edgar Allan Poe

[d0nnivain]

If I remember correctly AA calls this a dry drunk. It means that although the person stops ingesting alcohol, they still haven't properly addressed all the things that caused them to become addicted in the 1st place.

[beach]

I come from a family full of alcoholics and addicts. I have seen a few quit on their own. I think a big factor is unresolved pain and underlying depression. They have to learn to cope with whatever they are numbing themselves from.

 

Double like!!!

[melodicintention]

I watched a documentary the other day that said 1 in 5 alcoholics successfully recover.

 

My uncle did, but thats because he has 2% liver remaining and if he drinks he'll die. He's been sober a few years now. I'm amazed he is becuase he's still just as much an a-hole lols and no one likes him, but he's remained sober.

 

My aunt died of colon cancer related to her drinking. She'd never quit, she killed herself with the drink.

 

 

Sure they can if they want to, but most dont want to. That's because alcoholism is a symptom of a problem, not the true problem and most drinkers don't get treated for the source of the problem which is depression. So they quit drinking but get depressed and don't have the skills to deal with the depression so they relapse. This is why they often fail, they don't have the tools to deal with depression or other mental disease they may have like schizophrenia or bipolar.

[JDPT]

I've been in and out of rooms for a total of 5 years now. I suppose it's taking me this many years to start to scratch the surface that I may just be an addict. And for the first time in my life I don't see it as a negative but rather a positive. I need help and I'm willing to help myself because no one else will do it if I don't truly want it. I refuse to allow my emotions to dedicate my actions. When I used to become stressed out or depressed the first place i ran to was the liquor store, purchase a bottle and head straight home and drink until I couldn't anymore. I suppose I'm starting to get sick and Tired of being sick and tired waking up the following morning and being hung over for days, not having the capability to formulate intelligent thoughts let alone utter them. And the depressed feelings that will perpetuate once coming off the hung over phase. I'm finding inspiration of others in recovery and continue to tell myself that alcohol is not vital if anything it's utterly detrimental and will eventually kill me if I keep at it. I have so much to accomplish in life and will not allow the bottle to dictate my future.

[Xiane]

my friend is an ex-alcoholic, there are times he'll drink for 3 straight days until he passed out. but when he take a moment to rethink and look unto his drunken days gave to him, he suddenly feel the urge to stop drinking....well, not that totally quit, there is still a times that i see him drinking but not overdoing it. so my answer is, yes, they can stop according to their will, it is a matter of determination on how strong they are willing to give it up and start a new wave of their lives.

[Dork Vader]

I'm wbout to go to rehab for it. Can they? Maybe... I should add I'm really drunk...

 

It depends how bad it is...

[welyam]

i am an alcoholic, though i am in my way of recovery now. in my own experience, some groups like AA can help you along the way ( i don't know about the rehab though, i never went to one, but i'm considering it as an option). But, self recovery is the best way or method for me. You just need a strong motivation and will power to conquer your addiction.

[carly75]

Maybe they can change by convincing their selves to quit on it and with the support of family and friends and recovery experts everything can change,

[Kayann]

When the fear of staying the same is greater than the fear of making a change, that's when they make the change.

[TaylorTrek]

I'm wbout to go to rehab for it. Can they? Maybe... I should add I'm really drunk...

 

It depends how bad it is...

 

 

 

How are you doing Dork? I've read your thread but unfortunately it is close, I'm glad to see you here. Congratulation on your recovery. I'm an alcoholic and been planning to enter a rehab, the thing is I'm having a hard time finding a treatment place. So I would like to ask you, what is your basis in finding a reliable and affordable alcoholic rehab centers? One of my friends ask me to move from state and go in Ohio so that I can avoid distraction and temptation. I really want to assure a complete recovery. I'm very determine to change now.