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did I create a bigger problem?


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I just agreed to meet a dear life long friend for dinner. Problem is she's a drunk but refuses to admit she has a problem. I worry about her. She has "eye openers" in the morning & sneaks booze even when with friends.

 

Anyway, I picked a great place that doesn't serve liquor. I thought that would send a bit of a message & save me from having to drive her home (1/2 hour in the opposite direction from where I live). It's not the driving I resent; it's that she will fight me & insist she's fine to drive when she won't be.

 

She just sent me a text to ask if I knew if she could BYO to the place. I was hoping she wouldn't take the initiate to discover the place didn't sell alcohol. Now if we go there, she will feel compelled to drink the whole bottle of wine or 6 pack she brings. I won't have any because I no longer drive at all after drinking.

 

Do I change my mind & go back to the place she picked in the hopes that she will only have 2-3 drinks?

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You shouldn't be a drinking buddy to an alcoholic, I learnt this the hard way. If she isn't capable of socialising without alcohol (and that's what it looks like), you shouldn't socialise with her because you are enabling her by being her buddy - even if you don't drink yourself.

 

She needs to learn the consequences of her addiction. of course she checked whether the place sold alcohol, her whole life revolves around alcohol.

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She is advanced. She only resembles your dear lifelong friend. Do you really still enjoy her company? Alcohol is first, she is second and her resentments are third. The place you hold in her life is as a sounding board. There is no room for anything more. Find someone else to go to lunch with.:bunny:

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