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Hi, I'm having a very hard time. Broke up with bf of 10 months, almost a month ago. NC for one week now. I know it's the best thing for me, as difficult as this is. As challenging as our relationship was, he was my best friend and so much more, and I saw a future with him, if we could only communicate better, get the help we needed. But that just didn't happen...

 

He is a recovering alcoholic and sex addict, and also many other issues that accompany that. I knew this when I met him, but bc of the way he living his life, in recovery, in counseling, etc. I liked what I saw, did not judge him on his past. I am no saint, so I understood. As we became great friends, sharing all of our life "stuff", challenges, divorces, etc.

 

Anyway - too much baggage, too much drama with his ex, too much codependency in his family - it was too much for me. I tried and tried. I really did, and was such a great friend to him.

 

I never lied to him, I was in love with him, I saw a future with him, if he would only relax, open up to me more, let stuff go, laugh a bit more, not take life so seriously. But he couldn't.

 

I have discovered he withheld a lot of information from me, he lied to me, he was still addicted to his ex when he met me, but didn't tell me. He went into our relationship telling me he was ready for an exclusive relationship. He was not. I feel SO LIED TO.

 

The last two months of our relationship he began pulling away, saying strange things, little clues, not honest with me. He flat out lied about many things. But I just wasn't sure, or because I was trying so hard to understand him, trying to hard to hang on, because we had SO much in common, and he was my best friend. So I thought...

 

Being in NC has allowed me to do so much thinking. My sadness is now turning into anger, when I think about all the little things he lied to me about.

He was acting very strangely a couple weeks before he broke up with me. Now I find out he's online and already dating. He was probably doing this when we were still together. There were other signs as well...

 

I am putting two and two together. I'm pissed I was questioning myself! What was I doing wrong? He would turn things around and blame ME for why he couldn't tell me things or get more intimate with him. I was the reason why he didn't trust me.

 

How do I forgive myself for entering and staying in a relationship with an addict, manipulator, and liar??? How I fell for his charms! It is so so hard. I'm trying not to beat myself up, but so difficult. I am a very strong woman, have a full life, have never dated someone like that. And I've been in a lot of relationships, was married for 20 years.

 

Yes, live and learn. But I'm just so angry at myself, and him. I hate him right now for wasting 9 months of my precious life, time, giving so much to him, being such a great, understanding, supportive friend. And to find out he a LIAR and probably already cheating on me before we broke up. DISGUSTING.

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Zippity-Doo-Dah

Ok - So nine months were 'wasted' with him. But look on the bright side - it was only nine months! People like that can suck you in and years can go by before you look up and realize what you have just realized. If you ask me - I'd be celebrating the fact that he didn't take any more of your life that that. Beginning new relationships is always a gamble - you really don't know what the truth is about a person. Addicts of any kind are often very charming. It's how they get by with it. Don't sit and think about how foolish you were - you were trying to give the guy the benefit of the doubt. He betrayed you. ****.

 

Go ahead and be angry at him, not at yourself - and then let it go. Better luck next time.

 

Z

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This is what I need now! Tough love and reality check! Thank you!

 

You are right! He sucked me in, all the charm, romance, he has money, so "wined and dined" me, talked about the future, so in love with me, calling me every day, texting me every day. And yes, we had so many common interests, did have a blast together, until the honeymoon phase ended, and I guess things got "too tough" for him to handle. Yeah, sorry, I wasn't too pleased he still wanted his ex back, if he had the choice. He angry because SHE dating, all the while, he's with me? Oh, OK! Duh. So I questioned him, was upset about that. And he turns it around on ME - "I can't trust you because you get upset about this issue."

 

Sorry, you idiot - any self respecting, self loving person would not be ok with their BF of 9 months, still pining for another, dreaming of another, not taking any real action to change boundaries, to get some kind of separation from her! Sure, they share kids - but she's in his face, controlling everything, all the time. And he just took it! Wouldn't stand up to her. Because of his "shame", "guilt" or whatever the hell this boy felt, because he cheated on her. And she will continue to use that, for a very very long time, I'm sure.

 

Yes, I'm sure she sabotaged our relationship as well, in a way. He was trying, but certain things would come up, happen, where it would make me feel 2nd best, to her. Like her damn needs, wants came first. With no consideration of me, our time together. In the beginning he used to share with me, discuss with me, any change in plans re: the kids, the parenting plan and how that would affect our time together. Then nope, all that changed and all of a sudden, he "forgot". Or "I'm busy, I need to take time for me." OK, sure. He was probably already cheating on me by then. I guess I got too boring for him. He needed that new "rush", that "hight" that addicts need.

 

Yes, forget him. Glad it's over. I am getting there. He's lucky I put up with his crap for 9 months. Good luck to him finding someone who will. He probably will. Some shallow, younger woman, who is enticed by his money, lifestyle, two houses, ability to travel, take her anywhere she wants. That is pretty much all he has to offer. And some will take that, I'm sure...

 

Not me. I'm looking for a real man of substance who will adore ME, only ME, who is healthy in his mind and lifestyle. And who has BOUNDARIES. Those are kind of important, hello... People without them think they can take whatever they want, do whatever they want, manipulate others. Then pull the "poor me" routine. Good riddance.

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Hi, I'm having a very hard time. Broke up with bf of 10 months, almost a month ago. NC for one week now. I know it's the best thing for me, as difficult as this is. As challenging as our relationship was, he was my best friend and so much more, and I saw a future with him, if we could only communicate better, get the help we needed. But that just didn't happen...

 

He is a recovering alcoholic and sex addict, and also many other issues that accompany that. I knew this when I met him, but bc of the way he living his life, in recovery, in counseling, etc. I liked what I saw, did not judge him on his past. I am no saint, so I understood. As we became great friends, sharing all of our life "stuff", challenges, divorces, etc.

 

Anyway - too much baggage, too much drama with his ex, too much codependency in his family - it was too much for me. I tried and tried. I really did, and was such a great friend to him.

 

I never lied to him, I was in love with him, I saw a future with him, if he would only relax, open up to me more, let stuff go, laugh a bit more, not take life so seriously. But he couldn't.

 

I have discovered he withheld a lot of information from me, he lied to me, he was still addicted to his ex when he met me, but didn't tell me. He went into our relationship telling me he was ready for an exclusive relationship. He was not. I feel SO LIED TO.

 

The last two months of our relationship he began pulling away, saying strange things, little clues, not honest with me. He flat out lied about many things. But I just wasn't sure, or because I was trying so hard to understand him, trying to hard to hang on, because we had SO much in common, and he was my best friend. So I thought...

 

Being in NC has allowed me to do so much thinking. My sadness is now turning into anger, when I think about all the little things he lied to me about.

He was acting very strangely a couple weeks before he broke up with me. Now I find out he's online and already dating. He was probably doing this when we were still together. There were other signs as well...

 

I am putting two and two together. I'm pissed I was questioning myself! What was I doing wrong? He would turn things around and blame ME for why he couldn't tell me things or get more intimate with him. I was the reason why he didn't trust me.

 

How do I forgive myself for entering and staying in a relationship with an addict, manipulator, and liar??? How I fell for his charms! It is so so hard. I'm trying not to beat myself up, but so difficult. I am a very strong woman, have a full life, have never dated someone like that. And I've been in a lot of relationships, was married for 20 years.

 

Yes, live and learn. But I'm just so angry at myself, and him. I hate him right now for wasting 9 months of my precious life, time, giving so much to him, being such a great, understanding, supportive friend. And to find out he a LIAR and probably already cheating on me before we broke up. DISGUSTING.

 

 

I know that this sucks because you invested so much in one person. So much time and just as much commitment. It is hard to break away without any analysis because you have spent almost a year of your life with the same person.

 

 

Your first instinct may be to blame yourself. Yet, it's not as if you got into this relationship with malicious intent. You were basing your own actions on his words. Yet, if actions do not match the words, they tend to be rather empty. He is the one to blame her because of false information that was given to you.

 

 

A relationship takes two people. You need to try looking at this as a positive. Better to find all this out now before you wasted even more. Also, now you know some things that you will not tolerate. Communication and honesty are the cornerstone of any kind of connection. This experience can only help you going forward. You definitely deserve extraordinary.

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amaysngrace

Don't be so hard on yourself. Everybody makes mistakes. It's part of being human.

 

At least you know you have the capability to love again after a 20 year marriage. Stick with your soft side and try not to become bitter...towards yourself and yes, even towards him.

 

Forgive him too...

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What do you mean OP by strange things? Inexplicable mood swings? Obvious lack of trust on his side? Blaming you for everything, being the victim, not taking responsibility? Being with you and having a great time next only to see his mood plunge into darkness next?

 

Something along these lines?

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Emilia - His actions not matching the words, I love you.

 

He withheld thoughts from me, his past. Because it's not pretty. He is a recovery addict and did some things in his marriage he very ashamed of. At the same time, not doing his work to move forward, over his past, forgive himself, forgive his ex, who divorced him when she found out he cheating, lying, making a lot of very unhealthy choices. And they share young children. She did the right thing for her. And he still angry at her, resentful towards her, because "she abandoned" him! ???

 

No self responsibility or concept of "to have a friend, you have to be a friend."

Yes, blames his parents, his upbringing, for all his issues, addictions, lack of intimacy, etc. And he's not young! He's a 40 year old man. Who grew up with a ****load of family money, no boundaries, parties, alcohol. Yes, very dysfunctional... But sorry, no excuse for our choices once we become mature adults.

 

He knew when he met me he still all caught up in his ex. During second month together I saw red flags and asked him about his feelings for her. I got, "I don't know." Then brought it up months later bc he still distracted, things on his mind he's not sharing with me. Then he finally tells some truth and asks me, "don't you think once you love someone, it's forever?" Um, NO. So argument about that. Where he turned it around on me and said since I got upset - now he's not comfortable sharing with me anymore, doesn't trust me.

 

Yeah, it's a bucket of fun finding out your bf of six months who you're sharing everything with, is thinking about someone else, dreaming about her all the time, holding onto deep anger. For what? YOU cheated on HER! Broke marriage vows. And it's HER fault! He blames her for the divorce. I guess she should have stuck it out. It happens, but rarely. He thought he deserved her, after he slept around A LOT. Who the hell does he think he is???

 

Narcissist, that's what. Very clear. Addicts usually are.

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Emilia - His actions not matching the words, I love you.

 

He withheld thoughts from me, his past. Because it's not pretty. He is a recovery addict and did some things in his marriage he very ashamed of. At the same time, not doing his work to move forward, over his past, forgive himself, forgive his ex, who divorced him when she found out he cheating, lying, making a lot of very unhealthy choices. And they share young children. She did the right thing for her. And he still angry at her, resentful towards her, because "she abandoned" him! ???

 

No self responsibility or concept of "to have a friend, you have to be a friend."

Yes, blames his parents, his upbringing, for all his issues, addictions, lack of intimacy, etc. And he's not young! He's a 40 year old man. Who grew up with a ****load of family money, no boundaries, parties, alcohol. Yes, very dysfunctional... But sorry, no excuse for our choices once we become mature adults.

 

He knew when he met me he still all caught up in his ex. During second month together I saw red flags and asked him about his feelings for her. I got, "I don't know." Then brought it up months later bc he still distracted, things on his mind he's not sharing with me. Then he finally tells some truth and asks me, "don't you think once you love someone, it's forever?" Um, NO. So argument about that. Where he turned it around on me and said since I got upset - now he's not comfortable sharing with me anymore, doesn't trust me.

 

Yeah, it's a bucket of fun finding out your bf of six months who you're sharing everything with, is thinking about someone else, dreaming about her all the time, holding onto deep anger. For what? YOU cheated on HER! Broke marriage vows. And it's HER fault! He blames her for the divorce. I guess she should have stuck it out. It happens, but rarely. He thought he deserved her, after he slept around A LOT. Who the hell does he think he is???

 

Narcissist, that's what. Very clear. Addicts usually are.

 

It's not always easy to talk about our past. That doesn't make it any less important. There are some who say that you should not discuss any of it at all. I think it is part of what makes you who you are. Not that it necessarily has to define you. It's just that I feel you should know the whole of a person and not just the best parts. That is the complete honesty which is best for a bountiful relationship.

 

 

Knowing the tough issues from your past helps your partner have the possibility to be more sensitive toward certain things going forward. It also builds that sense of trust which is the cornerstone to all healthy and happy relationships. He was not honest with you and thus this isn't someone who could ultimately be trusted.

 

 

This man is most likely a selfish soul, Missy, who feels that his past gives him a free pass to hold a pity party. I grew up in a very unfortunate situation as well. There comes a time in which one needs to take the responsibility for his/her own self. Take the negative which happened to you and turn it into a positive. I cannot change my own past. Even despite how much I might really want to. What I absolutely do is appreciate things even now more. I became a teacher to try to help out those going through challenges. His past is not an excuse for any of his actions. You need an actual man and not a mere child. You deserve much more than this in a partner.

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I understand. But the reality is, if two people want to get intimate and build trust, they have to share, and also show with actions, that any mistakes or previous unhealthy behaviors from the past, have been dealt with and moved past.

 

This man willingly entered into an exclusive relationship with me, said he was ready, said he was doing all the work to remain sober. Which he was in many ways, yes! Why I respected him and fell in love with him! He said he was living his life in a totally honest way.

 

But once we got closer, and his dark secrets were coming out, to the surface, after honeymoon phase over, it got too difficult. The truth that he still addicted to ex wife, the truth that he wanted more children, when he'd told me he hadn't even wanted the ones he had! (ex manipulate him into having kids...) and didn't want more! He never got into detail about his past and recovery. He never asked about my past, my dreams for the future. We just stayed on a certain level, if you know what I mean...

 

He knew in spite of me also having a colorful past, I grew, am mature, have strong values and boundaries. Yes, I know he was scared to share his past with me, didn't want to be judged. But I was THERE! Loving him, telling him I wanted to know about stuff, asking questions. Once it was clear he still emotionally wrapped up in ex, unable to move past all that - which in some ways I understand, bc they just don't, can't have enough separation, can't do NC bc they share young children. And she's still all cozy close with his parents. Real close! Hard for him, I'm sure!

 

I felt like a third wheel. Like I having an affair in a way! Knowing she on his mind, he dreaming of her, still in therapy after two years, to discuss her. Not easy for me to hear, know. And where do I fit in?

 

After 9 months together, he still uncomfortable calling me his GF. I wouldn't be able to go to kids events, if ex there. She would waltz in his house to pick up the kids, she got a new dog and expected him to take care of it the weekends he has the kids, and he didn't say No to her right away! Call her up and say, "what? It's your dog, find someone else to watch it, we are divorced! We don't do favors for each other anymore!" wtf! Then why the hell the two of you not still married, if still so connected??? So unhealthy, esp for any new person who comes into their lives... I'm glad I got out of that situation. His new GF can have it! And it will be 10 plus years, until his kids grown! Can't imagine!

 

And then he breaks up with me, and has audacity to want to remain "close" friends. "We can do that, now that the romantic piece is gone."

Great! Oh, thanks! And in same breath, I miss you so much. I love you.

What the hell? Who does that? Wants to "be friends" but it's his daughters birthday and he tells me, don't send a card. Wants to be friends and I had found out my dad prob has lung cancer, and last conversation we had, he doesn't ask me about my dad, he just going on and on about what a great fun weekend HE had, and that he has a date. He sounded so happy. Wow, that told me all I needed to know.

 

This conversation was three weeks post break up. So sad.

 

Good luck to him. He lost a friend in me. Because he finally showed his true colors. Took me 9 months to see, but yes, good to know now before continuing, spending more time with his kids, etc. Some heart break now so worth it!

He was SO wrong for me! But good learning experience. That is what we must take from every relationship. One step closer to that real, healthy love. That person with whom it will just "work" and flow. No one to fix, not so much work, drama, stress, worry! That's not right or healthy love!

 

We all need to learn that! The journey continues...

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I understand. But the reality is, if two people want to get intimate and build trust, they have to share, and also show with actions, that any mistakes or previous unhealthy behaviors from the past, have been dealt with and moved past.

 

This man willingly entered into an exclusive relationship with me, said he was ready, said he was doing all the work to remain sober. Which he was in many ways, yes! Why I respected him and fell in love with him! He said he was living his life in a totally honest way.

 

But once we got closer, and his dark secrets were coming out, to the surface, after honeymoon phase over, it got too difficult. The truth that he still addicted to ex wife, the truth that he wanted more children, when he'd told me he hadn't even wanted the ones he had! (ex manipulate him into having kids...) and didn't want more! He never got into detail about his past and recovery. He never asked about my past, my dreams for the future. We just stayed on a certain level, if you know what I mean...

 

He knew in spite of me also having a colorful past, I grew, am mature, have strong values and boundaries. Yes, I know he was scared to share his past with me, didn't want to be judged. But I was THERE! Loving him, telling him I wanted to know about stuff, asking questions. Once it was clear he still emotionally wrapped up in ex, unable to move past all that - which in some ways I understand, bc they just don't, can't have enough separation, can't do NC bc they share young children. And she's still all cozy close with his parents. Real close! Hard for him, I'm sure!

 

I felt like a third wheel. Like I having an affair in a way! Knowing she on his mind, he dreaming of her, still in therapy after two years, to discuss her. Not easy for me to hear, know. And where do I fit in?

 

After 9 months together, he still uncomfortable calling me his GF. I wouldn't be able to go to kids events, if ex there. She would waltz in his house to pick up the kids, she got a new dog and expected him to take care of it the weekends he has the kids, and he didn't say No to her right away! Call her up and say, "what? It's your dog, find someone else to watch it, we are divorced! We don't do favors for each other anymore!" wtf! Then why the hell the two of you not still married, if still so connected??? So unhealthy, esp for any new person who comes into their lives... I'm glad I got out of that situation. His new GF can have it! And it will be 10 plus years, until his kids grown! Can't imagine!

 

And then he breaks up with me, and has audacity to want to remain "close" friends. "We can do that, now that the romantic piece is gone."

Great! Oh, thanks! And in same breath, I miss you so much. I love you.

What the hell? Who does that? Wants to "be friends" but it's his daughters birthday and he tells me, don't send a card. Wants to be friends and I had found out my dad prob has lung cancer, and last conversation we had, he doesn't ask me about my dad, he just going on and on about what a great fun weekend HE had, and that he has a date. He sounded so happy. Wow, that told me all I needed to know.

 

This conversation was three weeks post break up. So sad.

 

Good luck to him. He lost a friend in me. Because he finally showed his true colors. Took me 9 months to see, but yes, good to know now before continuing, spending more time with his kids, etc. Some heart break now so worth it!

He was SO wrong for me! But good learning experience. That is what we must take from every relationship. One step closer to that real, healthy love. That person with whom it will just "work" and flow. No one to fix, not so much work, drama, stress, worry! That's not right or healthy love!

 

We all need to learn that! The journey continues...

 

 

Perfect way to look at it, Missy! We all are prone to make mistakes. Ones that we will take with us. Yet, the purpose of each is to learn our errors. It allows us to not let any define who we are going forward.

 

 

The communication and conversations you had with one another seem to have been sort of limited. This means that your relationship had no chance at all to flourish. He was in complete control of what he decided to tell you. Instead of just being open and honest, he played your mind for many months. Making you believe in what could really never be. This is definitely the sign of a narcissstic soul.

 

 

You need to find a man who will put you first. Because, you seem to have the desire to do the same. He was not over his past and continues to let it define him. You are willing and wanting to move forward. This is what healthy people tend to do.

 

 

So sorry to hear about your father. Your ex is selfish and cannot look at anything outside of his own self. This is why he reacted that way during this conversation. He does not fully realize that a relationship involves total commitment from both parties. Not the right person for you at all.

 

 

You do not owe him one thing. No need to be his friend because it will not serve you any positive within your life going forward. He has lost the right because of his selfishness and most of all dishonesty.

 

 

There is a lot you have to offer to someone. That is totally blatant. I feel that our partner should enhance every single aspect of life and vice-versa. So as to work for and not against us. Drama is definitely best left for the movies. Consider this just one step closer toward the best parts of your journey.

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Wonderful reply. Thank you for your words of support and clarity.

 

Yes, I realize I was defending him for so long, perhaps bc of my own "caregiver" qualities, perhaps a bit co-dependent myself, after end of my 20 year marriage. That in itself takes a long time to process; I myself have some baggage. But I deal with it in pretty healthy way. It doesn't define my every day. I'm over ex, he's remarried. We aren't "friends" but we are amicable and support our kids together. I feel no emotion for him, except when he's a bit selfish with his new wife, family, and makes our kids feel less of a priority. But that's nothing new; that is part of reason we divorced...he's a good person, we just were too different and got married too young, grew apart. I don't hate him, I've accepted divorce, etc. I'm not an addictive person.

 

I see my ex BF clearly now. Yes, narcissistic qualities, which go along with addictive personality as well. So charming, could give me anything financially. Just couldn't give me himself, happiness, peace, no drama, tell ex "stay out of my life out of respect for my GF". That would have been nice to hear. That I was a priority, over her. Nope. He tried to convince me he loved me. He didn't. Or he did- but now I understand it was a love addiction, like a drug for him. And the "high" wore off. Now he's on to his next victim. Maybe she won't mind...maybe she'll be more like him, like ex wife. Use him for his money, codependency, spoiled. I'm sure he will find someone. He's very handsome, smooth talker, charming, has a lot to offer as far as "things", travel, etc. He will lure someone else in... Good luck to them! Everyone is different.

 

Thank god, thank my guardian angel, things happen for a reason!

 

Each day I'm stronger and wiser.

 

Yes, we as humans are naturally codependent a bit, but we need to really see how a relationship makes us act, feel, respond. One very wise friend once told me, Trust your instincts. And if something doesn't feel right, it isn't. And if someone too good to be true, they usually are! Watch those red flags, people! And have the self respect, self love, to walk away before you get in too deep... SO hard! Be strong! Love yourself first! I choose to love myself, my kids, my dear, true friends who have stood by me... For that I'm truly blessed.

 

I actually pity my ex bc he has no close, dear friends. Bc he says, he has "intimacy issues". Whose fault is that??? So sad.

 

I'm accepting all this and am on way to forgive myself. Him? That will take done time, and that's ok. And sometimes the best we can do is accept. We don't always have to forgive. Just try to forget... And move on, to happier times with happier, healthier people living for today! And the promise for a great tomorrow!

:-)

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Wonderful reply. Thank you for your words of support and clarity.

 

Yes, I realize I was defending him for so long, perhaps bc of my own "caregiver" qualities, perhaps a bit co-dependent myself, after end of my 20 year marriage. That in itself takes a long time to process; I myself have some baggage. But I deal with it in pretty healthy way. It doesn't define my every day. I'm over ex, he's remarried. We aren't "friends" but we are amicable and support our kids together. I feel no emotion for him, except when he's a bit selfish with his new wife, family, and makes our kids feel less of a priority. But that's nothing new; that is part of reason we divorced...he's a good person, we just were too different and got married too young, grew apart. I don't hate him, I've accepted divorce, etc. I'm not an addictive person.

 

I see my ex BF clearly now. Yes, narcissistic qualities, which go along with addictive personality as well. So charming, could give me anything financially. Just couldn't give me himself, happiness, peace, no drama, tell ex "stay out of my life out of respect for my GF". That would have been nice to hear. That I was a priority, over her. Nope. He tried to convince me he loved me. He didn't. Or he did- but now I understand it was a love addiction, like a drug for him. And the "high" wore off. Now he's on to his next victim. Maybe she won't mind...maybe she'll be more like him, like ex wife. Use him for his money, codependency, spoiled. I'm sure he will find someone. He's very handsome, smooth talker, charming, has a lot to offer as far as "things", travel, etc. He will lure someone else in... Good luck to them! Everyone is different.

 

Thank god, thank my guardian angel, things happen for a reason!

 

Each day I'm stronger and wiser.

 

Yes, we as humans are naturally codependent a bit, but we need to really see how a relationship makes us act, feel, respond. One very wise friend once told me, Trust your instincts. And if something doesn't feel right, it isn't. And if someone too good to be true, they usually are! Watch those red flags, people! And have the self respect, self love, to walk away before you get in too deep... SO hard! Be strong! Love yourself first! I choose to love myself, my kids, my dear, true friends who have stood by me... For that I'm truly blessed.

 

I actually pity my ex bc he has no close, dear friends. Bc he says, he has "intimacy issues". Whose fault is that??? So sad.

 

I'm accepting all this and am on way to forgive myself. Him? That will take done time, and that's ok. And sometimes the best we can do is accept. We don't always have to forgive. Just try to forget... And move on, to happier times with happier, healthier people living for today! And the promise for a great tomorrow!

:-)

 

Hi, Missy! You are more than welcome for the most recent reply. I am not sure if you are co-dependent to be honest. I think that perhaps you just the kind of person who does not like to give up on things. You simply tried to make it work for so long. Until his actions gave you no other choice than to walk away. It sounds as if you are on the right track. He had control of you for so long because of false hope and unfair promises. Now, you finally are taking that back on your own.

 

I like the way you look at him. He may have actually cared about you. Even if only in his mind and despite the fact that he did not show it. This does not change the fact that he was not right for you. He would not have been able to give you the kind of extraordnary experiences which were so richly deserved. Just based on the fact that he still was not over his past. My ex really did love me but could not give me anything close to that extraordinary either. She suffers from biploar disorder and the environment was always negative. I simply need to be around positive people. We all deserve at least this. He was making your life negative and thus why you had to let him go.

 

Any friend of yours is no doubt the better for it. He could have been a part of that circle had he played his cards differently. Even if things did not really work out romantically between you. Perhaps you could have walked away as friends. His dishonest way of leading you on let go of any possibility there. Maybe this will be a wake up call to him going forward.

 

As time goes on, perhaps you will be able to forgive him. Not that you will ever forget the experience that was his responsibilty. Take all the negative which comes your way as positive and tomorrow cannot help but be great!

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