Life without alcohol

[HeartbrokenNewbie]

So Ive been struggling with alcohol for a few years now.. this was started by some pretty traumatic events and I was probably predisposed due to a strong family history of alcoholism. Ive wrecked 2 relationships, embarrassed myself numerous times, lost my possessions the list is endless.

 

i have decided to stop. Im surprised I havent had any withdrawal but I do feel a bit strange (probably being sober!) the discoveries Ive made so far is that the stuff in my head is still there but its containable... it blows up when Im drunk and I react but being sober I have self control. I feel really good but apprehensive of a life without drink, Im not craving alcohol and Im very aware of what will happen if I have a drink (my mood will drop and everything will seem worse and I will most likely react and do something stupid). I tested this and thats exactly what happened... took me 5 hours and a lot of cups of tea to feel better again.

 

i went to the pub yesterday had a coke and a game of pool and I came home done my washing and some ironing and went to bed.. normally I would have stayed at the pub drinking doubles, got some more drink on the way home and fallen into bed drunk to wake up with a hangover.

 

I feel like I am really seeing things clearly but I feel very full of regrets and it is eating at me. At this moment in time I feel so aware of what will happen if I drink that Im not sure I will ever go back... I also got the opportunity to spend some time with a drunk and it was embarrassing... that used to be me! what an eye opener!

 

Im only a week in but so far the benefits are great and if anyone else is struggling with alcohol then please give it a shot even just for a week and see how u feel after that.

 

This is a journey and I have to take it one day at a time but so far so good... its even surprised me.. Im even questioning why I had let things get like that! x

[robbysurfs]

Hey man I was once where you were at. I could not go on another day with or without booze. That is great that your clean a week but let me remind you that does not mean life is not gonna happen. In my experience I drank purely for the effect it numbed me out basically made my life easier but the drink became unmanageable. I would strongly suggest trying AA it has been the only thing that has kept me sober for years. It helps remind me why i stay stopped and how to be more part of the solution to the world around me. I am gonna suggest staying away from the pub bars ect. there is a saying if you "hang around a barber shop long enough your gonna get a haircut"...That being said my life now is not perfect but I dont need to drink whether im up or down. You can live a great full life without booze trust me because I am doing it right now.

[HeartbrokenNewbie]

Thank you x I need to do this and I want to do it.. Ive needed too but never wanted too before! x

 

Is life better for u now being sober.. what positives would u say have come out of it for u personally? x

[Elias33]

The benefits will only get better when time goes by. Though your addiction should never be underestimated or considered "cured". As time goes by it is your discipline that will help you through challenging times.

 

See yourself conquering this, taste that pride and acknowledgement that goes with it. Overcoming an addiction is quite admirable, and sure gets my respect. Good luck to you.

[HeartbrokenNewbie]

If only it could bring back the people I pushed away and the damage I done :-( x

[2sunny]

Good for you!

 

It gets better as time goes along - more sober time.

 

Address the "feelings" you've covered up by getting numb. Work through them.

 

Maybe go to an AA meeting instead of the pub!

 

Best wishes - it feels awesome to be sober. More than 6 years got me - a sheer miracle.

 

You can do it if I can!

[Elias33]

If only it could bring back the people I pushed away and the damage I done :-( x

 

I understand your sentiment, and we all have regrets. I messed up enough in my life without ever touching a drop. But you have to understand that regret and worry is something that may trigger your addiction. We as humans act on emotions, thus we hold on to bad habits, and for some, that may include addictions.

 

As you leave alcohol behind, let's say goodbye to regrets as well, and while you're at it, "see ya" to all the worries too! You are shaped by your mistakes, you have gained your wisdom by living your life.

 

This is an opportunity for you to gain from it, be empowered by it. You are done losing right? Now let's start winning. I cheer you on as I am inspired by your active decision to choose for a better you. And a better you, attracts a better life. Don't label it, don't wait for it, just let it happen .

[HeartbrokenNewbie]

I'm trying to tell myself that the best things are yet to come but there's this little niggly voice saying "but what if they have been & u screwed them all up" x

[Michelle ma Belle]

Not sure where you're from but are you in any support program/group like AA (Alcoholics Anonymous)?

 

They are well known for helping addicts deal with the overwhelming "guilt" many experience when they finally get sober. They also help with learning how to forgive yourself regardless if others are not ready to forgive you. It can be very powerful and transformational if you work the program.

 

I highly recommend it if only to surround yourself with an amazing supportive group of people to help you on your journey - because we all need a little help along the way after all

 

Congratulations and good luck to you!!!

[robbysurfs]

There is is such a thing that is called being happy and usefully whole. My life life being sober has made me present in life. the actual real life not the false one created through drugs and alcohol. Is life hard ? at times yes but that is the gift my friend. I live my life clear and un altered when I laugh its genuine when I cry its genuine. Life ebbs and flows ups and downs but we dont drink. I have not found a good enough reason to drink. I have witnessed people go through death,birth,sickness,health,homeless,happiness without having to drink this is the gift. Be good to yourself and understand that there is a whole life out there connected to you so live it! and feel it! its all for you, but we do it one day at a time one foot in front of the other with the help or helping of other fellow alcoholics. Ask yourself this why one day you just quit? why you ? why now? there is a purpose my man. You are at the jumping off point....your special that has happened to you some people go there whole lives suffering to this.Forget the past or the future the time is now my friend that is the gift right now. The past is history tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift thats why it is called the present. trust me go to a AA meeting and ask for help and you will see a whole other world open up to you.

[fallenheart]

I've been clean over ten months now. I wanted so badly to make it to a year.

 

But last night the girl I've been dating the last 8 months dumped me and dumped me hard.

 

I want to....DESTROY...myself. I want to drink myself to death.

 

If anyone is reading this....I know there's not much chance of that cause where I am it's 1 in the morning and I'm all alone....but if anyone is reading this and can give me a reason not to drink until my heart stops, please let me know.

[Grumpybutfun]

OP, I think it is admirable that you saw something that wasn't positive and decided to change it. Living with someone who was an alcoholic, it was pure hell so I can understand the regrets. My father drank himself right out of my life then my wife used it to numb her child abuse issues so I feel I have had a front seat to the regrets you are speaking of.

There is a great Australian program my wife found very helpful called Hello Sunday Morning with an emphasis on stopping drink from becoming your life through peer support. Google it and read High Sobriety by Jill Stark which takes a look at our drink obsessed culture. It was very interesting and changed my view on alcohol.

It is never too late to have a healthy and sweet life. Everyone, drinking or not, lives with regrets. It is the nature of our growth process and our shedding the negative and toxic people in our lives. You can do this, it isn't something that is insurmountable once you own it and embrace sobriety.

Good luck,

Grumps

[HeartbrokenNewbie]

Sorry to hear that it know it hurts x

 

Reasons not to drink:

 

1) it WILL magnify the problems

2) u will more than likely lose your self control & say things u regret (& will feel sh*t tomorrow)

3) why would u let her have the satisfaction of punishing yourself

4) as much as it hurts u WILL heal faster without drink - FACT

5) u will undo all the hard work u have done

6) getting to your best physically & emotionally is the best revenge ever

7) if u see her again do u want to look like a shrivelled up prawn or look nice & healthy?

8) it's a slippery slope

9) the drink will screw with your emotions so much u will appear a psycho

10) you are stronger than that

11) you will feel better soon & u will deeply regret drinking

 

Reasons to drink:

 

None

 

 

Be strong & I'm always about if u ever need to talk xx

[fallenheart]

thanks for writing. just the fact that there's a human being out there that gives a **** about me at this moment helps.

 

i'm 36 years old and i've been dumped so many times i don't even want to think about it. and every time i thought it would be the last. and i thought it would stop hurting...i'd get USED to it.

 

but here i am, sitting here in the dark, tears and snot running down my face like a damn teenager and i swear i've never felt so hopeless in my life. cause at least back then i used to think things would be better someday. well, "someday" is NOW and it's NOT better.

 

and I could go to the store and have a bottle in less than ten minutes. hard stuff. the good stuff. and that incredible state of non-existence could be mine in a just a few gulps....i haven't felt it in so long...it would just take all this pain away.....

[HeartbrokenNewbie]

I know how I feel, mine ended 8 months ago & like u I felt desperate & never thought it would get better but it really does x my biggest regret is the messages I sent when drunk! I'd do anything to take them back & I also see that I kept it alive by drinking, I'm absolutely certain I would have recovered faster had I gone running rather than drink x

 

The drink won't make it go away.. U will have your first drink & initially u will feel more emotional then u will drink some more & more until u will reach the "numb" point but then u will go to bed & when u wake up u will not only regret drinking but the same problems will still be there only they will be worse because u will hungover & tired.. Both a recipe for an even worse day!

 

Do me a favour & get your trainers on (I know u don't feel like it but force yourself) go for a 3 mile run (or more if u like) then come back & tell me how u feel after? x

 

I HATE exercise but it bloody works !!! x u will feel better, u will tire yourself out (hopefully sleep tonight), there will be no hangover tomorrow & u will have got a better buzz than drinking x u have to make yourself do this x

[HeartbrokenNewbie]

U have done amazing don't throw the towel in at the first "test" x

[fallenheart]

All right. I won't drink.

 

But it's 2 am and I'm wide awake and I have to work in the morning. I'm gonna be in bad shape no matter what. Ugh.

 

Thanks again for the messages.

[HeartbrokenNewbie]

No worries.. I swear u will feel better soon x

 

Yes u will be tired tomorrow but thats better than being tired and hungover and full of regret x

 

Just ask yourself that if drinking "works" then why did u stop!?... because it doesnt work! x

 

Also, are u going to go back down the same old route that u know doesnt work or try something new and healthy...

 

U can do this and u never know u may well sort things out and then u will feel a real idiot !! x drinking is not going to change anything so up to u if u want to get through this the negative self destructive way or a positive healthy way.. u are so going to feel so proud of yourself if u push through this x

 

This is the first of many tests so stay strong and go for that run asap! :-) x

[fallenheart]

Well, I managed to sleep for 4 hours.

 

I didn't give in. No alcohol. I went to work. And I even went to the gym after work for the first time in a month.

 

Sorry to hijack the thread, but I appreciate the support. Still feeling indescribably hurt by this girl, but I'm not gonna let that make me start drinking again.

[HeartbrokenNewbie]

Nice one :-) everyday will get a bit easier... Gym again tomorrow yea? x

 

Dont worry about hijacking the thread it all helps me too as when I hit problems I will remember u getting through them without alcohol! x

 

It is going to hurt for a while but what u are doing are all the right things x

[Art_Critic]

Hi Heartbrokennewbie,

 

Good for you, keep on keeping on

 

I've been sober for 27 years this coming June, I still remember going through the feelings you are facing right now and can tell you that without a doubt they get better, time and the absence of Alcohol will allow you to get through it.

 

~Art

[Art_Critic]

Fallenheart,

 

One day at a time and if that doesn't work then break it down to hours.. If you feel you are going to drink get yourself in front of someone you can use for support, call AA, even a family member can help or ost on this thread.

 

Keep on keeping on...

 

~Art

[HeartbrokenNewbie]

Thanks Art... how has your life improved by stopping would be great to hear the advantages just to keep me focused! x

[Babolat]

So Ive been struggling with alcohol for a few years now.. this was started by some pretty traumatic events and I was probably predisposed due to a strong family history of alcoholism. Ive wrecked 2 relationships, embarrassed myself numerous times, lost my possessions the list is endless.

 

i have decided to stop. Im surprised I havent had any withdrawal but I do feel a bit strange (probably being sober!) the discoveries Ive made so far is that the stuff in my head is still there but its containable... it blows up when Im drunk and I react but being sober I have self control. I feel really good but apprehensive of a life without drink, Im not craving alcohol and Im very aware of what will happen if I have a drink (my mood will drop and everything will seem worse and I will most likely react and do something stupid). I tested this and thats exactly what happened... took me 5 hours and a lot of cups of tea to feel better again.

 

i went to the pub yesterday had a coke and a game of pool and I came home done my washing and some ironing and went to bed.. normally I would have stayed at the pub drinking doubles, got some more drink on the way home and fallen into bed drunk to wake up with a hangover.

 

I feel like I am really seeing things clearly but I feel very full of regrets and it is eating at me. At this moment in time I feel so aware of what will happen if I drink that Im not sure I will ever go back... I also got the opportunity to spend some time with a drunk and it was embarrassing... that used to be me! what an eye opener!

 

Im only a week in but so far the benefits are great and if anyone else is struggling with alcohol then please give it a shot even just for a week and see how u feel after that.

 

This is a journey and I have to take it one day at a time but so far so good... its even surprised me.. Im even questioning why I had let things get like that! x

+1000 for you my friend, alcohol, in modceration is Okay, abused, it's evil, out right, evil. I dealt with it for 12 months with my ex gf and it's the main reason we did not work. I got tired of slurry speech, wobbly walking, blackouts, nights where she would disappear, etc.

 

I could quit at anytime. I'm down to maybe a drink or two a week and even then it's in a social setting. I don't drink alone, I don't keep it in my house except to offer guests when they come over.

 

Stay strong, you can do it!

[HeartbrokenNewbie]

Was it just the drinking that ruined it... did u love her... does it not ever play on your mind that maybe she would have sorted it out and u could have had a good relationship? x