Alcohol is ruining my life

[EdG]

I drink 4-5 times a week. I have a few beers/glasses of wine in the evenings after my day at work, most evenings (although recently I've been trying to have "days off"). I wouldn't necessarily say this is an issue, but recently I've been starting to think about having a drink at times of the day I really shouldn't be. I have never acted on those thoughts though.

 

The bigger issue I have though is when I go out. 95% of time time I drink on nights out I drink excessively. I can't seem to control the amount or pace at which i drink. I get steaming drunk.

I build my life up during the week, I work hard, I go to the gym, I think positively and work to achieve everything I want in my life, for it all to be messed up by one big night out!

 

I've been 'seeing' a female friend of mine recently. On Friday we all went out. I got blind drunk and ended up kissing another girl that I'd been with a few months previous. I remember her pulling me onto the dance floor and kissing me. I remember pulling away after a few seconds and going to sit down to get away from it. The girl I am seeing saw me and is rightly so, is very upset. I never intended to kiss this girl. The girl I am seeing says she saw me kiss her on more than one occasion, but I honestly only remember the moment I described above. I really liked the girl I was seeing, but more importantly she was a friend, part of a group of friends. I have really upset her and I never intended to.

 

I stopped smoking, then I go out, have a shocker and due to feeling so embarrassed and ashamed I self destruct and start smoking again.

 

A few weeks ago I "went out for a few beers" with a friend of mine on a Thursday night after work. I ended up leaving a club at 4:30am, leaving my work laptop in the club which had my computer and my house keys! I had to travel back to my mums house at 5 in the morning, wake her up to get my spare set. I had work in a few hours, i was still drunk, couldn't remember what had happened, couldn't get into my house and didn't have a laptop to work on! I had to go buy a new computer at £1,500 on top of the £300 I'd spent on my night out. What the F!!

 

I go out thinking "I am going to behave tonight". I have a plan to have a few drinks with friends, take it easy and go home at a reasonable hour so I can be productive the next day. I can NEVER follow through with my plans! I have a few drinks and then don't even think about the plan. I lose control. I drink drink after drink. I spend money I just don't have without thinking about it. I am scared to look at my bank account today, fearing how much I spent on Friday night. I am cautious about money until I have a drink and then I can blow 50% of my monthly budget on one night. I hate that. I have much better things to spend my money on!

 

I had a meeting today which I couldn't go to as I was hungover, unable to move and being sick! I am 26 years old! Everything I build up gets demolished after one heavy night out!

 

I don't want to stop drinking. I am a sensible person when I am sober, but it all seems to go out the window after a few drinks. I never used to be like this. It's happened in the last 2-3 years. I used to be able to moderate. Why can't I anymore!

 

I've really upset this girl and i feel terrible. I genuinely never meant to do anything to upset her.

 

I could continue and continue with stories about my alcohol sagas. There are plenty of them. It's not fun anymore, I hate the consequence of my drunken actions.

 

I don't know if i am an alcoholic or not. I don't feel dependent on alcohol, but I think the signs are there. I keep saying I need to stop drinking, but I never seem to follow through and honestly have never even tried for more than a day after one of these episodes.

 

I need to stop all this now. I need to stop drinking. it's really ruining my life. I obviously don't know how to drink responsibly anymore.

 

I went on holiday to Thailand recently. I got so drunk that I fell over the cracked my head on a rock. I ended up being taken to hospital by strangers and having stitches in my head. I was a drunken mess and walked out the hospital with only half the stitches finished. Thankfully I got taken back in for the job to be completed. I now have a big scar on one side of my forehead.

 

Hmmm. I think enough is enough. I don't know what to think. Whether i am an alcoholic or not. Scared to say I need to stop drinking for life. I know I don't like what I do when I drink anymore and I know it's ruining my life.

 

Arrrgh!

[pickflicker]

Once your drinking becomes out of control for you, then yes, it is alcoholism. Everyone had a threshold and based on your post, you're now exceeding yours.

 

You need to engage the servicesf of your local AA chapter for support. Good luck.

[Grumpybutfun]

Hey you are realizing this at 26 rather than fifty. You see the patterns and the way it affects your career, your financial situation and your relationships.

With that said, it is time to really do your homework on binge drinking. People will tell you that if you aren't drinking every day all day you aren't an alcoholic, yet binge drinking is worse than being a full time drunk because it takes bingers forever to clean up their act and know this one simple thing about alcoholism....

One is too many and one is also never enough.

 

Self control isn't the issue here. You have an addiction and so you have to treat it as an addiction and go see someone. Call around and find out of your behavioral health clinics have support groups or counselors For binge drinking addicts. Get online and to the bookstore and do some research. Figure out what is driving this addiction...is it stress, peer pressure, habit from college, child abuse, depression, etc.

Addicts don't want to quit because there is that initial high when someone starts drinking. They don't want to lose their friends or have them think they are sissy. Yet, your life can either be episodes of shame and guilt with you losing your friends, gfs, and your reputation or it can be fulfilling surrounded by people who love and respect you. My father was a binge drinker and there isn't anyone else in the world who I think less of. My childhood was a blur of shame and hatred because of his neglect and irresponsibility. Don't be that guy to your son.

Good luck,

Grumps

Edited February 2, 2014 by Grumpybutfun

[EdG]

Thank you very much for your posts.

 

I guess I find it hard to accept that I'm addicted to alcohol as I don't crave it in the same way I did for example nicotine. However I realise they're different 'drugs' with differing affects. The fact that I can't accept the addiction has made it difficult in the past for me to do something about the drinking. Each time I have a binge drinking episode I say right enough is enough, but then I'll never follow though - instead I so I'll just be more responsible instead and limit myself. It appears however that I am no longer and to limit when I'm out.

 

The problem is that I keep messing up big time when I'm drunk. I hate it. I'm making some terrible decisions. Ones that have lost me relationships in the past, a lot of money, a scarred face, and now a good friend/girlfriend. I'm losing respect of people I care about. I don't want to be that guy - like you say in your post. Sorry to hear about you Dad and the affects his drinking had on you and your family. Problems with drinking run through my family. My grandfather, uncle and cousin on my mums side were/are all alcoholics and the affect it has had no her is also terrible.

 

At the moment I don't know what to do. I don't know if I need to go to AA. I suppose the support would be good, but I feel I may not be 'accepted' as I'm not an alcoholic in the stereotypical sence. It would help me though so I should. Either way I'm definitely going to stop drinking now and re access what's going on.

 

I am always a little stressed and anxious and I think that's what causes me to push it too far when drinking.

[TaraMaiden]

First of all, definitely go to AA. I have a very good freind - a self-confessed alcoholic - who is now also mentor to two other people who attend.

 

it doesn't matter what effect Alcohol has on you, as far as they're concerned. It's not a case of putting you into a category, or defining you form outside of yourself.

 

You recognise that it's an issue: That's quite good and sufficient enough to warrant a visit.

 

Oh and, one more thing:

 

Alcohol is not ruining your life.

 

YOU are ruining your life through your abuse of alcohol.

 

AA is fair, but it can be tough on you: They'll want you to completely own your problem.

 

But it's a great place to be, because you'll be surrounded by people who completely 'get it'.

[KatZee]

I don't want to stop drinking.

 

I'm sorry to say, you ARE an alcoholic, and you HAVE to stop drinking, whether you want to or not.

 

Alcohol affects your personal life, it affects your work, it affects your relationships with others, it affects your finances. It's safe to say that on the alcoholism spectrum, you're pretty badly affected.

 

There is no "moderation" with you and that's the thing about alcoholics. You may have all the intention to drink "moderately" but alcoholics are completely INCAPABLE of moderation. The second they get a drink, it turns into 2, 12, 20. And becomes a binge, and it turns into the ugly scenes you have experienced.

 

You need to get into AA immediately and begin working steps to acknowledge the fact you have a problem. You also need to completely stop hanging out in bars. You cannot handle it, and you see the destruction you cause every time you choose to go out.

 

You need to also realize that alcoholism isn't a choice, it's a disease. It's a disease that's trying desperately to control you, so it's not as if you can just say, "hey I just won't drink anymore." And have that be reality. That will never be the case so long as you continue going out with people who enable you to drink. That's another big thing I noticed about your story. You have a TON of enablers in your life.

 

If you left your laptop and keys at the bar because you were so plastered, your mother SHOULD NOT have let you in the house or picked you up with a spare set of keys. You should have been left in the street to really feel the effects of your consequences.

 

Along with you going to AA your familiy/friends/girl your seeing needs to get to Al Anon meetings to know what it means to be codependent and an enabler so they can learn not to be either.

 

Your going to need to completely change your lifestyle, your group of friends, where you hang out. You will NEVER be capable of having one or two beers and then a productive day. The monster inside you will always lure you to excess unless you get the help you need for your alcoholism.

[EdG]

You're right, it is me who's ruining my life and not the alcohol. I guess I keep thinking that the choices I make when blackout drunk are choices I'd never make when sober, or not quite as drunk and that's why. But I choose to drink and make those choices, so.

 

I am in a hole at the moment. Riddled with guilt, embarrassment and disappointed. I've spent the last 24 hours apologising for my behaviour the other night and beating myself up inside.

 

I know I don't want to keep making terrible decisions when I am not in control. It's really affecting my life! On Friday afternoon I felt great, everything was ok, it's now Sunday afternoon and after one bad night out I feel terrible and lost, having upset people and disappointed myself.

 

I am going to work on getting myself back. I am looking forward to Monday morning so I can go to work and take my mind off of all this and work on getting my life back on track. No more drinking for me. I don't know how it's going to pan out, but I don't want this guilt and upset anymore. It cripples me.

[EdG]

What you quote below is a very scary thought. All my friends drink, we're young and it's a huge factor in our social scene.

I feel that I can stop drinking without having to change the way I interact and socialise with my friends. It's perhaps I naive thought. I am typing that I am going to stop drinking altogether, but in reality it doesn't feel real when I say it. I say it cause I know how alcohol is affecting me, it's enabling me to make some terrible, misjudged decisions.

 

I've now experienced enough self inflicted destruction to realise i have a problem of sorts, but it doesn't feel real.

 

My family are well experienced with alcohol problems, so they'll understand. i don't want to tell anyone at the moment that I am going to go AA. My family will be surprised, but they'll understand, whereas my friends will probably think I am overreacting.

 

I've seen the affects of alcohol in my lifetime as my brother went to rehab for it and my granddad, uncle and cousin are all alcoholics, I just never thought I'd be in this situation. I don't drink to the same extent that they did, so maybe that's why i am struggling to accept it, but I do know what I can't moderate and tolerate alcohol anymore.

 

I am confused as to what to think at the moment, so I am sorry if my posts are contradicting at times.

 

Your going to need to completely change your lifestyle, your group of friends, where you hang out. You will NEVER be capable of having one or two beers and then a productive day. The monster inside you will always lure you to excess unless you get the help you need for your alcoholism.

[EdG]

I can have one or two drinks and limit, but only when I'm at home or having a quiet night with a friend at a pub for example. I probably really occurs when I go out, when I'm in social situations. I don't know why I drink much in those situations. It could be related to anxiety, or perhaps just getting carried away in the moment/fun. I saw a photo of me today from Friday. I didn't look drunk. But I can't remember it being taken or the situation I was in. 95% of time I can't remember how's of the night.

 

What you quote below is a very scary thought. All my friends drink, we're young and it's a huge factor in our social scene.

I feel that I can stop drinking without having to change the way I interact and socialise with my friends. It's perhaps I naive thought. I am typing that I am going to stop drinking altogether, but in reality it doesn't feel real when I say it. I say it cause I know how alcohol is affecting me, it's enabling me to make some terrible, misjudged decisions.

 

I've now experienced enough self inflicted destruction to realise i have a problem of sorts, but it doesn't feel real.

 

My family are well experienced with alcohol problems, so they'll understand. i don't want to tell anyone at the moment that I am going to go AA. My family will be surprised, but they'll understand, whereas my friends will probably think I am overreacting.

 

I've seen the affects of alcohol in my lifetime as my brother went to rehab for it and my granddad, uncle and cousin are all alcoholics, I just never thought I'd be in this situation. I don't drink to the same extent that they did, so maybe that's why i am struggling to accept it, but I do know what I can't moderate and tolerate alcohol anymore.

 

I am confused as to what to think at the moment, so I am sorry if my posts are contradicting at times.

 

Your going to need to completely change your lifestyle, your group of friends, where you hang out. You will NEVER be capable of having one or two beers and then a productive day. The monster inside you will always lure you to excess unless you get the help you need for your alcoholism.

[KatZee]

No more drinking for me. I don't know how it's going to pan out, but I don't want this guilt and upset anymore. It cripples me.

 

I know you think you mean this, I know you may really want to stop drinking and not have this lifestyle, but as long as you're an alcoholic, you will continue to relapse back into the lifestyle.

 

You may stop drinking for a week, two, and then tell yourself, "Hey, I've been doing great. I'll go see my friends, have one beer. It'll be fine."

 

That one beer is going to turn into 10, and you're going to wake up in your own vomit, piss and whatever else, and be right back to square one. Alcoholism is VERY RARELY treatable by yourself. You need a complete support system and you need to get into the next AA meeting ASAP. And that's going to be a thing you do, for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.

 

Even those in AA with years of sobriety are one drink away from relapse and I've heard of people with years and years of sobriety just completely become raging alcoholics again. It's not an easy thing to deal with so don't think it's something you have to do on your own or that you're going to be able to do on your own. That's why all these programs exist.

[KatZee]

I've seen the affects of alcohol in my lifetime as my brother went to rehab for it and my granddad, uncle and cousin are all alcoholics, I just never thought I'd be in this situation. I don't drink to the same extent that they did, so maybe that's why i am struggling to accept it, but I do know what I can't moderate and tolerate alcohol anymore.

 

Well there you go. You were passed on the alcoholics gene and it runs in your family. I've seen this. The alcoholic I know, his entire family are alcoholics. He goes to AA a few times a week and when he goes, he goes with his uncle, his cousin and they all support each other with sobriety.

 

I know you're probably embarrassed or ashamed, but this is clearly a family thing and they would be more proud of you actually admitting a problem instead of being scared and hiding it and continuing to go out with your enablers.

 

Don't fool yourself. You CANNOT have 1 or 2 drinks. Alcoholics do not work that way.

 

If you want to stop and you want to fix your life and yourself, it's all or nothing. Not half a.ssing it. Not going out with your friends to bars, not watching them drink, not sitting alone in your room having a few beers. It means 1,000% in the program, admitting your problems, admitting you're an alcoholic who cannot control himself, and completely removing yourself from any and ALL situations/people who are not good for you.

 

Is it going to suck? Yep. Are you going to lose friends? Yep. Are you going to have an entirely new way of life? Absolutely. But would you rather be happy, healthy, sober and able to have a successful relationship? Or do you want to continue blacking out and making out with other people in front of the girl you're seeing? Do you want to have no money, terrible credit, unable to even lease a car, buy your own home? Out in the street as a bum? These are realities for alcoholics, especially when their enablers wake up and realize they can't save or rescue them.

[Haydn]

Its great news that you have admitted to yourself you have a problem. I had a fairly heavy addition to a certain narcotic at university and yes you just have to stop. But because you are aware and you realise that you need to seek help, you are on the right track. Good luck.

[EdG]

I see what you're saying, thank you so much for all your words, they are really helping me make sense of this situation.

 

I really don't want to keep jeopardising my life and relationships like this. I've already had one relationship (my ex girlfriend) breakdown because of alcohol and I've now ruined the chances of another relationship opportunity. I really can't believe I did what I did on Friday. So ashamed.

 

I don't feel like an alcoholic though. But having read all what you've said I know i definitely have a problem and I'll seek out AA and enter the programme. If I continue along this path I'll one day have a lot more to lose the older I get.

 

Losing friends, not drinking, change, it all make me nervous. Wow.

 

Thanks again.

 

 

Well there you go. You were passed on the alcoholics gene and it runs in your family. I've seen this. The alcoholic I know, his entire family are alcoholics. He goes to AA a few times a week and when he goes, he goes with his uncle, his cousin and they all support each other with sobriety.

 

I know you're probably embarrassed or ashamed, but this is clearly a family thing and they would be more proud of you actually admitting a problem instead of being scared and hiding it and continuing to go out with your enablers.

 

Don't fool yourself. You CANNOT have 1 or 2 drinks. Alcoholics do not work that way.

 

If you want to stop and you want to fix your life and yourself, it's all or nothing. Not half a.ssing it. Not going out with your friends to bars, not watching them drink, not sitting alone in your room having a few beers. It means 1,000% in the program, admitting your problems, admitting you're an alcoholic who cannot control himself, and completely removing yourself from any and ALL situations/people who are not good for you.

 

Is it going to suck? Yep. Are you going to lose friends? Yep. Are you going to have an entirely new way of life? Absolutely. But would you rather be happy, healthy, sober and able to have a successful relationship? Or do you want to continue blacking out and making out with other people in front of the girl you're seeing? Do you want to have no money, terrible credit, unable to even lease a car, buy your own home? Out in the street as a bum? These are realities for alcoholics, especially when their enablers wake up and realize they can't save or rescue them.

[EdG]

It's got to be done now. Thanks.

 

Its great news that you have admitted to yourself you have a problem. I had a fairly heavy addition to a certain narcotic at university and yes you just have to stop. But because you are aware and you realise that you need to seek help, you are on the right track. Good luck.

[EdG]

I feel sooo lonely. I've been sitting 'shaking' my head at what I've become all weekend. Can't believe what I am capable of when I am drunk.

 

I am an addict, I have an addictive personality. I've been addicted to nicotine since i was 16, I was addicted to coke for a short period during my last year of school, now I am behaving like this now. I hope i need to make sure I don't replace alcohol with something else.

 

Im so embarrassed with my actions. So ashamed.

[lollipopspot]

I can have one or two drinks and limit, but only when I'm at home or having a quiet night with a friend at a pub for example. I probably really occurs when I go out, when I'm in social situations. I don't know why I drink much in those situations. It could be related to anxiety, or perhaps just getting carried away in the moment/fun. I saw a photo of me today from Friday. I didn't look drunk. But I can't remember it being taken or the situation I was in. 95% of time I can't remember how's of the night.

 

Fist thing - stop going out and putting yourself in those situations right now. You can control that more easily than you can control drinking too much, once you're there.

 

Like, I really like corn chips. So I exercise control at the store by not buying a bag. Because if I let myself buy the bag, all bets are off once I get home.

 

Exercise control at the point where you have the most control.

 

I feel sooo lonely. I've been sitting 'shaking' my head at what I've become all weekend. Can't believe what I am capable of when I am drunk.

 

I am an addict, I have an addictive personality. I've been addicted to nicotine since i was 16, I was addicted to coke for a short period during my last year of school, now I am behaving like this now. I hope i need to make sure I don't replace alcohol with something else.

 

Im so embarrassed with my actions. So ashamed.

 

You can replace one addiction with another - but make it a healthy addiction, like going to the gym everyday or something that is life affirming rather than destroying.

 

I'm not convinced that you're going to change right now, although I really hope that you do. Often people seem to need to hit rock bottom before they really are serious about dealing with their alcohol addiction. It disturbs me that you wrote you "don't want to stop drinking." You seem to be in some negotiation stage with yourself, hoping you can keep doing what you're doing but just moderate it a little bit.

 

I want to give you something to think about - not that you haven't already, but let it sink in. Things can get irreparably worse. You could drive drunk (I assume you do some of that) and kill someone, or walk into traffic drunk and get hit by a car and become permanently injured. So many scenarios where someone is hurt or killed because you weren't of sound mind. The shame and guilt you're feeling now is nothing compared to what you will feel if you do something really stupid or careless in a drunken blackout, with permanent consequences. I have had times when I thought life was bad - then it became unbearable, and I wished I could be back in the time when I just thought life was "bad." Your life can become unbearable if you continue down this path, and you'll wish you were back to this time right now, and could make better decisions.

[EdG]

Yes, I am the type that needs to hit rock bottom at times to feel the full worse of destruction. Several times I've made huge mistakes through bad choices when drunk and hurt people emotionally without intent, put myself and yes, others at danger.

Sitting reflecting on this the last few days, coupled with the advise I've been given and also reflecting back on all the similar past events I feel i'd be a fool to ignore the signs and not start sobriety. If I don't, I WILL end up losing a lot more than I have to date. That's a given.

 

I have a situation like this, I behave for a bit and then think "ok, I'll take it easy tonight" and then I end up back here. It's a standard cycle.

 

I feel scared to be honest about changing my lifestyle to the extent I'll have to. I don't want to have an alcohol problem. It's inconvenient, I know how much hard work it is to manage, I've seen it first hand, the restrain, the relapses, and consequences of alcoholism.

 

I've found a local AA meeting and I will attend this week. I will see how it goes. I know life can be much worse and I should be thankful that i haven't caused more damage. I don't know how i can be one person when sober and someone capable of such recklessness when drunk. The girl I was seeing said "You have a seriously warped perception of who you are". She a very intuitive person and reads people incredibly well. I don't feel warped. I know who I am, I just change when I am very drunk, that's not me, it's the 'devil' inside me who I hate!

 

 

Fist thing - stop going out and putting yourself in those situations right now. You can control that more easily than you can control drinking too much, once you're there.

 

Like, I really like corn chips. So I exercise control at the store by not buying a bag. Because if I let myself buy the bag, all bets are off once I get home.

 

Exercise control at the point where you have the most control.

 

 

 

You can replace one addiction with another - but make it a healthy addiction, like going to the gym everyday or something that is life affirming rather than destroying.

 

I'm not convinced that you're going to change right now, although I really hope that you do. Often people seem to need to hit rock bottom before they really are serious about dealing with their alcohol addiction. It disturbs me that you wrote you "don't want to stop drinking." You seem to be in some negotiation stage with yourself, hoping you can keep doing what you're doing but just moderate it a little bit.

 

I want to give you something to think about - not that you haven't already, but let it sink in. Things can get irreparably worse. You could drive drunk (I assume you do some of that) and kill someone, or walk into traffic drunk and get hit by a car and become permanently injured. So many scenarios where someone is hurt or killed because you weren't of sound mind. The shame and guilt you're feeling now is nothing compared to what you will feel if you do something really stupid or careless in a drunken blackout, with permanent consequences. I have had times when I thought life was bad - then it became unbearable, and I wished I could be back in the time when I just thought life was "bad." Your life can become unbearable if you continue down this path, and you'll wish you were back to this time right now, and could make better decisions.

[Gerrykins]

I drink 4-5 times a week. I have a few beers/glasses of wine in the evenings after my day at work, most evenings (although recently I've been trying to have "days off"). I wouldn't necessarily say this is an issue, but recently I've been starting to think about having a drink at times of the day I really shouldn't be. I have never acted on those thoughts though.

 

The bigger issue I have though is when I go out. 95% of time time I drink on nights out I drink excessively. I can't seem to control the amount or pace at which i drink. I get steaming drunk.

I build my life up during the week, I work hard, I go to the gym, I think positively and work to achieve everything I want in my life, for it all to be messed up by one big night out!

 

I've been 'seeing' a female friend of mine recently. On Friday we all went out. I got blind drunk and ended up kissing another girl that I'd been with a few months previous. I remember her pulling me onto the dance floor and kissing me. I remember pulling away after a few seconds and going to sit down to get away from it. The girl I am seeing saw me and is rightly so, is very upset. I never intended to kiss this girl. The girl I am seeing says she saw me kiss her on more than one occasion, but I honestly only remember the moment I described above. I really liked the girl I was seeing, but more importantly she was a friend, part of a group of friends. I have really upset her and I never intended to.

 

I stopped smoking, then I go out, have a shocker and due to feeling so embarrassed and ashamed I self destruct and start smoking again.

 

A few weeks ago I "went out for a few beers" with a friend of mine on a Thursday night after work. I ended up leaving a club at 4:30am, leaving my work laptop in the club which had my computer and my house keys! I had to travel back to my mums house at 5 in the morning, wake her up to get my spare set. I had work in a few hours, i was still drunk, couldn't remember what had happened, couldn't get into my house and didn't have a laptop to work on! I had to go buy a new computer at £1,500 on top of the £300 I'd spent on my night out. What the F!!

 

I go out thinking "I am going to behave tonight". I have a plan to have a few drinks with friends, take it easy and go home at a reasonable hour so I can be productive the next day. I can NEVER follow through with my plans! I have a few drinks and then don't even think about the plan. I lose control. I drink drink after drink. I spend money I just don't have without thinking about it. I am scared to look at my bank account today, fearing how much I spent on Friday night. I am cautious about money until I have a drink and then I can blow 50% of my monthly budget on one night. I hate that. I have much better things to spend my money on!

 

I had a meeting today which I couldn't go to as I was hungover, unable to move and being sick! I am 26 years old! Everything I build up gets demolished after one heavy night out!

 

I don't want to stop drinking. I am a sensible person when I am sober, but it all seems to go out the window after a few drinks. I never used to be like this. It's happened in the last 2-3 years. I used to be able to moderate. Why can't I anymore!

 

I've really upset this girl and i feel terrible. I genuinely never meant to do anything to upset her.

 

I could continue and continue with stories about my alcohol sagas. There are plenty of them. It's not fun anymore, I hate the consequence of my drunken actions.

 

I don't know if i am an alcoholic or not. I don't feel dependent on alcohol, but I think the signs are there. I keep saying I need to stop drinking, but I never seem to follow through and honestly have never even tried for more than a day after one of these episodes.

 

I need to stop all this now. I need to stop drinking. it's really ruining my life. I obviously don't know how to drink responsibly anymore.

 

I went on holiday to Thailand recently. I got so drunk that I fell over the cracked my head on a rock. I ended up being taken to hospital by strangers and having stitches in my head. I was a drunken mess and walked out the hospital with only half the stitches finished. Thankfully I got taken back in for the job to be completed. I now have a big scar on one side of my forehead.

 

Hmmm. I think enough is enough. I don't know what to think. Whether i am an alcoholic or not. Scared to say I need to stop drinking for life. I know I don't like what I do when I drink anymore and I know it's ruining my life.

 

Arrrgh!

Whether or not you're an alcoholic is irrelevant. The fact is that C2H5OH is taking-over your life and damaging current and potential relationships -possibly your career? It can only get worse, unless you decide to do something about it.

In my late teens, I drank most nights(as kids do), but -when I hit my 20's, then early 30's, despite cutting-down, I noticed that my memories of the previous nights were getting more vague.

Consequently, I decided to try a week without alcohol. That stretched to two weeks(was I amazed?)and then six months! It was great fun going to the pub with my wife and drinking soft drinks whilst my mates were knocking-back the booze and getting progressively more out of control(just as most of us do when out drinking). At times,I was disgusted to think that I could ever be like them -but I hadbeen! It was extremely educative, shall we say.?

When I decided to drink again, I decided to limit my intake, but still enjoy myself, which I still do. Once in a while, I may have one too many, but -hey-I didn't say that I was a saint, did I?

Generally speaking, I only drink at weekends, holidays, or special occasions,but there's no hard and fast rule that ties me down..it's simply choice.

If you're unable to manage an alcohol-free week with soft drinks when you go out, then you may have a problem which needs addressing

Why not try a sober week for starters and see how things go? You may well surprise yourself!

In the words of Bob Dylan, "When you got nothin', you got nothin' to lose".

[EdG]

I could quite easily go a week without drinking, or two, or three. The problem I foresee is that I'll think "hey, everything is okay again" and then I'll go out and one drink will lead to another, and another, and 15-20 more. I can go to the pub and drink a soft drink, no problem. I can do that for week, month, but then when I think everything is okay again it will all go tits up again. That's the problem I have I think.

 

I am weighing up doing what you suggest vs. going completely dry. I want to think that i can take a few weeks, months out and then see how I go. I might do that, but I am scared that I'll end back here, and truthfully if I am honest with myself I think that's what will happen. I am scared of going sober completely as I am young and alcohol is a big part of my friends and I's social life and I will undoubtably miss out on certain things, but on the other hand if I can't moderate/tolerate my drink then I have no choice. People may think I am being extreme by stopping drinking all together, but they aren't inside my head and thinking/feeling the way I do.

 

As one poster rightly said, at the moment I am in negotiations with myself. I will come to a decision, I hope it's the right one.

 

I will go to an AA meeting and see how I feel. I want to be able to enjoy a social, responsible drink with family and friends. I can do that as well, it's not like every time I drink I blow out, but it's what that one or two drinks can lead to with regards to when I go out. F*ck, I don't know.

 

 

Whether or not you're an alcoholic is irrelevant. The fact is that C2H5OH is taking-over your life and damaging current and potential relationships -possibly your career? It can only get worse, unless you decide to do something about it.

In my late teens, I drank most nights(as kids do), but -when I hit my 20's, then early 30's, despite cutting-down, I noticed that my memories of the previous nights were getting more vague.

Consequently, I decided to try a week without alcohol. That stretched to two weeks(was I amazed?)and then six months! It was great fun going to the pub with my wife and drinking soft drinks whilst my mates were knocking-back the booze and getting progressively more out of control(just as most of us do when out drinking). At times,I was disgusted to think that I could ever be like them -but I hadbeen! It was extremely educative, shall we say.?

When I decided to drink again, I decided to limit my intake, but still enjoy myself, which I still do. Once in a while, I may have one too many, but -hey-I didn't say that I was a saint, did I?

Generally speaking, I only drink at weekends, holidays, or special occasions,but there's no hard and fast rule that ties me down..it's simply choice.

If you're unable to manage an alcohol-free week with soft drinks when you go out, then you may have a problem which needs addressing

Why not try a sober week for starters and see how things go? You may well surprise yourself!

In the words of Bob Dylan, "When you got nothin', you got nothin' to lose".

[Haydn]

Nothing to be ashamed about. Its life and it can be hell! I have complete empathy with you. You are not a bad person because you have an addiction. You will get through this.

 

I feel sooo lonely. I've been sitting 'shaking' my head at what I've become all weekend. Can't believe what I am capable of when I am drunk.

 

I am an addict, I have an addictive personality. I've been addicted to nicotine since i was 16, I was addicted to coke for a short period during my last year of school, now I am behaving like this now. I hope i need to make sure I don't replace alcohol with something else.

 

Im so embarrassed with my actions. So ashamed.

[EdG]

Just ashamed with my actions, I've done some really not very cool stuff and it's embarrassing and ugly.

 

You're right, I will get through this and I'll look back from a more positive situation someday soon!

 

Nothing to be ashamed about. Its life and it can be hell! I have complete empathy with you. You are not a bad person because you have an addiction. You will get through this.

[Grumpybutfun]

Do you think writing about some of the things you are ashamed of would help you purge some shame about them? Sometimes when we do things , we keep them deep down inside when it is cathartic to take them out and discuss them. Only if you think it might help...no pressure.

Don't be too hard on yourself. This is something a lot of people deal with and go on live perfectly manageable lives.

Best,

G

[EdG]

Right now I'm super ashamed at my recent mistake. When I think about it I have an ashamed/cringe feeling that runs through my body. I'll get over it in time, it wasn't the crime of the century. The problem I have is that the shame and guilt of my drunken actions cripples me when I am sober. Some people might just shrug them off as drunken mistakes, but I've now had too many of them to do that and they aren't inline with the way I want to behave or conduct my life anymore. I've cheated, fought, hurt feelings, spent excess money, lost things, and wasted too many weekends recovering/feeling ashamed. The broken relationships are the consequences that really get to me. I hate that I wasn't in control and actions I didn't mean caused relationships to break down.

 

I'm negotiating what to do at the moment. I can't help but feel AA might be a bit extreme, but that could be me giving myself an excuse. I can just have one or two drinks from time to time, but the problem is when I drink on "nights out"...that's when it all goes wrong...

 

I think your idea of writing everything down is a really good one. I will do that tonight on the train home. It is cathartic to 'release' it all on paper. Hate reading it back through ;-)

 

Do you think writing about some of the things you are ashamed of would help you purge some shame about them? Sometimes when we do things , we keep them deep down inside when it is cathartic to take them out and discuss them. Only if you think it might help...no pressure.

Don't be too hard on yourself. This is something a lot of people deal with and go on live perfectly manageable lives.

Best,

G

[carhill]

Hey you are realizing this at 26 rather than fifty

 

OP, this is a really good point. We lost a good friend about three weeks ago who didn't make it to 50. She had a problem with the bottle for as long as my exW knew her, over 20 years. Did the religion, the AA, the in-patient detox, the 'interventions'.

 

The decisions you make today have marked effects in and on your future. IMO, make decisions that don't leave an 18yo son angry at you for dying like our friend's son is angry at his mother for leaving him. Try something else. Good luck.

[Tayla]

Alcoholism is an illness and a life long condition, it doesnt take a "week off". It takes your life...slowly but surely. You don't get "OVER" being an alcoholic, you learn to Disc"over" yourself . First remove the liquid then remove the impulse.

 

I think you got aways to go, and to be honest, I think you'll talk yourself out of admitting you really are like those "alcoholics" in the meetings...yet funny thing is...they are sober...R u?