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How can you tell if you are dating an alcoholic?


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Old 23rd January 2011, 5:31 PM   #1
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How can you tell if you are dating an alcoholic?

A guy I have seen a few times drinks no less than 5 drinks every time we go out. Wine and vodka are his drinks of choice.
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Old 23rd January 2011, 6:19 PM   #2
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So you have seen this guy a few times and he has no less then 5 drinks. Where are you guys going when you go out ?
If there is other phone calls to each other, does he respond with the I'm just having a couple of drinks ?
Do you feel it is a red flag when you see him ?

If you feel the red fla then I would not continue on. We lose ourselves and hate ourselves when we ignore the red flags.
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Old 23rd January 2011, 6:26 PM   #3
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If he has "no less than" five drinks, then how many more than five does he drink? Getting sloshed is not a sign of someone serious about a relationship.
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Old 23rd January 2011, 6:35 PM   #4
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IME, it's been the 3am phone calls with crying, bla, bla, bla, and then the sound of snoring. I have a recording of the snoring.

In general, one perceives no discernible 'switch' in the partner for turning off drinking.

Also, I'd be mindful of a person who drinks as in the example and is reticent to give up their keys to the DD.

Also, with women, more bathroom trips than normal.

I've had a fair amount of friends and a few ladies I've loved who were/are alcoholics, some active and some in recovery.

Since I generally date with the intention of finding a marital partner, I would pass on an alcoholic as potential marital material. That doesn't mean I wouldn't love them, rather find them incompatible for a LTR.
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Old 23rd January 2011, 6:43 PM   #5
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Certainly we can't tell if the guy you are dating is an alcoholic from what you posted but it certainly looks like he at the very least has a drinking problem.

If you start to see that he drinks all the time even when he goes places that people don't normally drink ie:.. the movies then it would be a sign of an alcoholic..
Putting drinking above all else would also be a sign..
There are many signs but honestly you would need to know a bit more about the guy to know if he just drinks too much for whatever reason or if he is an alcoholic.
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Old 23rd January 2011, 6:55 PM   #6
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Thanks, we have been to 3 nice restaurants. That has been the extent of our dates. I get kind of nervous being in the car when he drives me home.
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Old 24th January 2011, 4:08 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweet sugar View Post
Thanks, we have been to 3 nice restaurants. That has been the extent of our dates. I get kind of nervous being in the car when he drives me home.
The fact that you're concerned about it is the important factor. Whether or not he's an alcoholic doesn't matter if you already see at least an incompatibility issue. Three dates and you're seeing something you don't like. Might want to move on to someone who doesn't raise the red flags for you.
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Old 10th February 2011, 6:39 PM   #8
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Somethings to think about is does the drinking affect several areas in his life? Is is his work suffering, does he have legal problems, has he lost friends or other close people due to drinking? Does he seem preoccupied concerning alcohol? Does extra money go to alcohol? Just somethings to ask yourself and go from there...
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Old 11th February 2011, 12:00 AM   #9
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Flags are around for a reason. Carry taxi money, as its wise for your own safety
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Old 25th February 2011, 6:13 PM   #10
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driving you home after drinking is certainly a sign of irresponsibility - not to be entertained, its wreckless, dangerous and illegal and Putting you at risk. With respect, I would question myself dating someone with such lack of judgement.
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Old 6th March 2011, 1:36 AM   #11
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If he's drinking more than the legal limit and then driving you home, that could be a sign. Alcoholics get irresponsible because they've drunk too much and become less inhibited. Do not get in the car with him. Refuse to if he's had more than the limit.

If he is an alcoholic, he may be drinking before he goes out and after. Bear this in mind when risking a journey with him. Also bear in mind that he could be putting others in danger too.

I have a friend who became an alcoholic and I knew him when he wasn't. These are the things I noticed:

He'd have a drink every evening, to relax, and didn't usually appear too drunk. The important thing was every evening.

He'd get less inhibited and say embarassing things, but wasn't obviously drunk. It was hard to tell whether he was normally like that or drunk. He would get belligerent and a bit argumentative.

He did a lot of temp. jobs. It was OK where he lived because you got paid well doing temp. jobs, but moving from one job to another can hide a lot of sins.

He made lots of homebrew, because it was cheaper and 'healthier'. It was actually easy access and plentiful too.

He worked his way into a job with easy access to alcohol and this is when it got worse. His judgement went awry and he got into a mess financially.

When his partner realised he was drinking to excess and maybe couldn't stop, he started lying. He lied about how much he drank, when he drank it, whether he'd got any.

He made excuses to go out so he could go to bars or the store.

He had a few little 'accidents', with his car, on his bike, falling generally. There was always a good reason and it was always an accident.

Attempts to stop him drinking so much failed. They all failed. His wives (two successively) left him. Still he drinks and is in a downward spiral. He refuses to stop.
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