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I'm Addicted to Strippers


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b_nextdoor

I am so very lonely. I am 32 years old and have never had a girlfriend that has lasted for more than 2 weeks ever in my entire life. I have been to bed with about 4 women over the years, but have held back and have never gone all the way and had sex. I live alone and am from a small town and a small family and in the past several years have lost more than 1/2 of my family to deaths.

 

The latest was my Dad this past March. I am feeling more and more alone all the time and don't have any girlfriends. I have developed this new habit of going out to the local strip bar and trying to get to know all of the girls who work there and to try to develop some friendships with some of them. I have been going there for about 4 months now, almost 6 nights a week for about 2 to 3 hours a night, spending at least $50 every night and as much as $150 a night on some nights. I am becoming so attached to some of the girls who work there and like them so much and almost think of them as my friends and girlfriends and whole social life all rolled up into one. Going to this strip bar is my only social life. I cannot get any nice girls to go out with me. I am not unattractive or anything, I am probably above average looking for my age, but I am probably way too picky and really want a woman who has everything - good looks, personality, devotion, has never had kids, has preferably never had a serious boyfriend, dresses really nice (in public and in private), has nice, soft, fluffy, long hair, has nice eyes, preferably brown, has nice legs, and other things too.

 

I see women at the strip club every night who are extremely attractive physically and whom I wonder about and would love to get to at least go out to dinner with and have a chance to get to know better to know if they would be compatible with me at all, but they will never even give me a chance or see me outside of the strip club. Some of them are so beautiful and I feel like I would do almost anything to make it work if I even thought I had a slim chance at any type of a relationship with one of them. I have spent over $7000 down at this club in the past 4 months. I only have a take-home pay of about $800 per month, or $3200 per 4 months, so obviously I have been spending way, way more than I can afford to.

 

The only reason I have been doing this is because I want some wonderful, attractive, soft female more than anything in the world and am willing to go into debt to try to obtain her. I hate being alone. I live alone and spend almost all my time alone and I hate it! I don't think I am asking for too much. I am a nice guy and I need a nice girl and she has to be out there somewhere. I hope so much that I can find her sometime soon. I am so lonely and I hate it! Where is she?

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amaysngrace
Where is she?

 

She's not in the strip club. Well probably she isn't. She could be. But the chances of that are slim.

 

You realize these girls are only nice to you because you're paying them to be, don't you? You know it's their job to be nice to the guys who come in there, right? Don't feel like they're your friends. They're not. And if they were that attracted to you they'd give you some for free.

 

I would save the money that you don't have that you spend there and put it towards counseling. You have suffered major loss in your life and your heart is broken. You could possibly be dealing with depression. Especially from the loss of your dad.

 

Your dad is watching out for you now. Go to him if you need sensible guidance to do the right thing for your life. He'll send the answer in your heart.

 

XO

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I hope you releize that most of those woman only see you as a pay check. No matter how nice they are to you. No matter how much they smile at you . Your chances of dating and having a realationship with one of them is about 10,000 to 1 You need to get out into the real world.

Find a nice bar that is a popular after work hang out. A place that offers a nice happy hour. A lot of woman will stop to have a drink with their girlfriends. It is easy to make small talk and maybe arrange a lunch date if the mood is right. Years ago a friend and Me joineda groumet cooking class. It wasa blast and the woman where fighting over us.

Also for a lot less money then you are spending now you can join an internet dating site. I have met some fantastic woman on match.com.

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It sounds to me like you don't really want a real woman. You seem focused on very superficial things "fluffy hair", nice legs, never had a serious relationship, etc. etc. You're into the whole fantasy aspect concerning women.

 

You really should stop wasting your time and money at those places. Do you go because you honestly don't think a "real" woman would be interested in you?

 

I thought Topper had some good suggestions. Anything is better than the path you are on now. Keep doing what you're doing and you'll keep getting what you've been getting...more loneliness. It's the strippers JOB to make you feel good. When they go home at night, they're not thinking about you but instead they're counting their money.

 

You need to make an effort to find a real woman.

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buddy, you listen up and you listen hard....

 

i work / worked as a doorman. i worked for 6months last summer at smile strip club in buckinghamshire. check it out they have a website. NOW, you listen to me!!

 

THESE WOMEN CARE FOR ONE THING!! M O N E Y! ! ! they drive BMW and MERC's... they have big strong musclar men! who care for there bodies like they do, they have men who fight who are doormen. trust me, i am ur age you and i have MANY things in comman. and i flattly telling you that they are not interested in you.

only what they can get from you! and this is from experince. i had a chance with a women called summer - and i didnt because i was with Jess at the time.but she wanted me hard only because i wasnt like the men who paid for her. because i used to talk to her.

looking back i wanted her, but i wanted jess more... but summer was amazing body... but all stripper have ISSUES!

 

YOUr not a stripper unless you have something... different about you! IF U GET MY DRIFT. anyway, i had another mate MATT who used to spend... 300 a night there.. every night on the same women. and fell in love with one... she wanted nothing to do with him!!

 

you need to get one friend to go out with and start socialising. I have many of the same things going on in my head as urs... buddy i feel for you!

 

start activily planning a way of getting out of this cycle!

 

i have MANY MANY stories of these strippers when i worked there... if u want more i can tell you more.

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b_nextdoor
buddy, you listen up and you listen hard....

I am just sending a reply to everyone; I am not kidding or making any of this up. I am extremely sincere about everything that I wrote. I am so alone and am so lonely. I am 32 years old and have never really had a girlfriend. I live alone and have only about 2 friends, both guys, and lately they have both been ignoring me and it seems like they don't even want anything to do with me. I really am a very nice guy and am very caring and considerate and loveing and devoted and honest. I don't understand why I cannot find that one special, wonderful woman that I am looking for. I have so much love and caring and stuff to give!! Where is she?? I feel like I am offering just what every woman wants, and yet they don't even care or even want to talk to me or meet me. What is the deal? I am not perfect, but am very good looking for my age, 32. I think most women are more picky than I am. I am so in love with some of these strippers from the club. I would do almost anything for any of them. I have my few certain favorites that I would almost literally do anything for, but I don't think they even care. I don't think they think I am serious when I say things like, "I would do anything for you." I am serious, but I don't think they believe me. I really feel like I love some of them very sincerly and would do almost anything for them and feel so warm and complete inside when they give me a hug or a kiss on the cheek, but I suppose it is totally one-sided and that they really don't care about me and wouldn't ever help me if I needed help. I just wish that I could find one sincere, nice one that I could be friends with and spend a little time outside of the bar with as friends.

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I really am a very nice guy and am very caring and considerate and loveing and devoted and honest. I don't understand why I cannot find that one special, wonderful woman that I am looking for.

 

I don't doubt one second that you are a sweet, sensitive man...but I will tell you why you cannot find that one special woman... because you're simply not looking in the right place... this is a strip joint... they are not 'special wonderful women' material... trust me.. most of them already have someone...they are there just for the money... no money they won't even look at you... try it.

 

If you tell them (even more than one woman) that you would do just about anything for them..and you constantly say the same things over and over, I'm sure they think you're desperate, and they (all of them)probably laughing at you behind your back... sorry if I sound harsh..but it's the truth... these women don't give a hoot about you all they want is your money, that's the ONLY reason they're being nice to you... no money no 'candy'.

 

If I were you I would try something else... stop going there... try other places, dating sites for example, go out, shopping malls, I don't know...anywhere BUT that stripper's joint. This is typical from small rural places though... there isn't much to do...but most small villages have one or more stip joints LOL...

 

Good luck!

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b_nextdoor
I don't doubt one second that you are a sweet, sensitive man...but I will tell you why you cannot find that one special woman... because you're simply not looking in the right place.

Thank you, everyone, for your advice and support. I am doing my best to do some soul searching today about my addition. I have been trying to stay home each night, but when 10 PM roles around I just cannot make myself stay home and go to bed. I think about all of these cute girls I know down at my local strip bar and I just cannot fall asleep or stay home. I went down there again last night. It seems like a lot of these girls must think I am rich and they are almost fighting for my attention now. My favorite girl of the 40 or so that I know actually came and sat with me last night and just talked to me. I have wanted this for so long! While she was doing this though, one of my other favorite girls had to come and interrupt and try to talk to me also. Later another one of my favorite girls did about the same thing. This one girl named Jeri or Geri or however she spells it is such a turn on!! She will come and give me kisses on the lips and things like that that hardly any of the girls will do. I would gladly have her as my girlfriend if I could, but I just don't think it would work out with her or any of these other girls. Most of these girls earn about $200 to $600 per night just for dancing and don't ever actually work as hookers or have sex with guys for money. I only make $57 per day before taxes and about $40 per day after taxes, but most of these girls seem to think that I make a lot more than that just because I come into Mettler's almost every night and spend anywhere from $40 to $150 every night in about two hours. I also try to dress really nice and wear nice gold and diamond rings and stuff like that. I tell these girls I am poor and do not have money, but I don't think that they believe me and I think they mainly like me just because they think that I have money. I sometimes wonder if there is just one nice, cute, sincere dancer there that would really make a good girlfriend. I think there has to be at least one and that I have to keep going there and trying to find her. :(

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che_jesse

Holy crap this is just creepy, I'll be sure to look for the episode of Body of Evidence about the string of unsolved stripper murders with the words "I'll do anything for you" written in blood over their dead bodies.



 

First of all maybe you should find something interesting in women other then their physical appearance, "fluffy hair" is a stupid criteria for the right person.



 

Get some hobbies, isn't there ANYTHING else you would rather do?



 

Women that work in strip clubs are:

* Whores

* Gold diggers

* Have no sense of personal respect



 

This is who you choose to fall in love with? Their entire job is getting you interested by throwing you some table scrapes of affection and you are falling for it.



 

Really though, you need to take your 7k over the next four months and get psychiatric help, you are on the fast train to really creepy sex offender land.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Disclaimer: I'm sure not each and every woman working in a strip club is a nasty hooker, bust most are, if you are in fact one of the 4 that are paying their tuition in law school while raising her 5 children disregard my comments.

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road to debt... i cant make you stop... but i garantee they aint want you think they are! its all fake... its only money, u tell the ur running up huge debt to see them and the nices ones will tell you to stop and that they aint worth.

buddy, just go clubbing where you can get a girl to talk to you for free... and if you spend a tenth of the money you spend on strippers on her she will think your god! hehe

are you over wieght or something to have the lowest self esteem?

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It seems like a lot of these girls must think I am rich and they are almost fighting for my attention now.

 

I don't mean to be rude...but maybe they're just making fun of you but you don't see that... and fighting for the money... not your attention.

 

Most of these girls earn about $200 to $600 per night just for dancing and don't ever actually work as hookers or have sex with guys for money.

 

Yes they make good money... and you have no idea if they have sex with guys for money...

 

I only make $57 per day before taxes and about $40 per day after taxes, but most of these girls seem to think that I make a lot more than that just because I come into Mettler's almost every night and spend anywhere from $40 to $150 every night in about two hours.

 

How can you spend that much money? I think you're making some of this stuff here... sorry but how can you spend over $100 every single night plus you have your living expenses... sorry....

 

I also try to dress really nice and wear nice gold and diamond rings and stuff like that.

 

ha-hem... tacky!

 

I tell these girls I am poor and do not have money, but I don't think that they believe me and I think they mainly like me just because they think that I have money.

 

LOL because you spend $150 every night... and yes they only like you because of your money...

 

I sometimes wonder if there is just one nice, cute, sincere dancer there that would really make a good girlfriend.

 

NO!!!

 

I think there has to be at least one and that I have to keep going there and trying to find her.

 

NO!!! wow you need to grow up man! you just sound sooo freaken desperate!

 

Just go and don't spend any money maybe a week or two... then you'll see if those girls are still as friendly... reality check!!!

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hmmmmm... you are addicted, you need to just runt to some type of help in a lucid moment, maybe an sex adicts ananomys meeting or to church. You've lost touch with reality all of this will only take you farther away from your goal of getting a girl friend. If you really want to get one of those girls you got to treat them like ho's they are offer one of them money to boink and then stop going to the club and just pay to boink her once a week. Just know that what your doing doesnt even sound posible with the figures your throwing out, your going to be bankrupt next week if you keep this up.

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b_nextdoor

Holy crap this is just creepy, I'll be sure to look for the episode of Body of Evidence about the string of unsolved stripper murders with the words "I'll do anything for you" written in blood over their dead bodies.

Body of Evidence? Aren't all of those cases located in Florida for Dale Hinman?

:o Seriously though, I am actually seeing a psychologist and I would never bring harm or stress to anyone else - especially a woman. My psychologist recommended that I "reach out" and discuss my addiction with some of my peers - so I thought I would reach out to this community to do that. I hope that is okay. :rolleyes:

 

On that note, I just had to go out again tonight. I had a very bad day and the only thing to keep me going was the one and 1/2 hours I spent at the local strip bar. I just got my car back yesterday after having in this guys shop for 18 days and paid him $168 and this morning it wouldn't start. I was one and ¾ hours late for work and called my boss and tried to get out of work so I could have my car fixed again by someone else so I wouldn't have to worry about getting to work again tomorrow and the next day and etc., but my boss was very unsympathetic and told me they were short at work and really needed me and I had to go in. When I got there, I realized that they were really not short at all and in fact within three hours this one guy came in to work saying that they had left a message that they needed him because of someone else who could not be there. That someone else, I found out, was me, and yet even after this guy came into work, they still wouldn't let me leave to try to get my car going. It was sunny and about 60 degrees out today and would have been good weather to work on my car, but by the time they let me go the sun had gone down. My boss doesn't care at all. He just said that I should have bought a different car and that I had to be on time tomorrow. This darn car is 14 years old and I have over $8000 sunk into it in the past four years and cannot afford anything else now because of all the money I have spent on it and also the money I have spent on the strippers.

:(

 

I feel trapped and helpless! I had to go to the strip bar tonight just to try to get at least a little pleasure and fun out of my day. This one girl named Lexie or Robin or Michelle (she changes her name often) was there tonight again. I have met probably at least 40 dancers there since I have been going there, but she is at least one of the top three as far as being someone who really turns me on and excites me. She absolutely drives me crazy! Unfortunately she plays these little games like she will say that she will come right over and then she won't keep her word and then the next time I see her she will make it sound like I was the one who didn't show up and like I was the one who ignored her!

:confused: She has done this at least three or four times. I just don't know if she cannot keep track of what is going on or if she is purposely playing some game with me. I am absolutely crazy about her and would literally do almost anything for her. I would do anything if I could just go out to eat with her and talk to her, just to spend some time with her. She always smells so good and her skin is so soft and so warm.

 

I don't know what to do. I am so alone again tonight. I am so unhappy. I am sure my car will not start again tomorrow and I have to take a cab again to work and work at this job I hate for this damn boss that I hate and know that when I get off work I will be alone again unless I go down to my local strip bar again and spend more than I can afford to again and probably fall in love with Lexie or some other girl again and have to leave alone again at the end of the night and the whole thing will repeat again.

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b_nextdoor
How can you spend that much money? I think you're making some of this stuff here... sorry but how can you spend over $100 every single night plus you have your living expenses... sorry....

I inherited some money when my father passed away. :bunny: I should be saving this money for my future, but I cannot help myself. My job is of little help financially. My boss is really taking advantage of me even though I am a very good worker. After working for him for over 9 years full time, all he pays me is $7.20 an hour and he refuses to move me up in the company even though I am more intelligent than he is and also a nicer person and more thoughtful and considerate and etc. I know I am kind of getting off the subject, but you people have no idea of all the problems I have and do face and all of the pain I go through every day. I am spending my father's inheritance and going into credit card debt because of my bad habit of going to the strip joint and tipping the girls. :(

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This darn car is 14 years old and I have over $8000 sunk into it in the past four years and cannot afford anything else now because of all the money I have spent on it and also the money I have spent on the strippers. :(

 

Your doing the same mistake with the strippers that you made with your car your investing to much time and money in them. Stop calling it your local strip joint and think of it as your local hell. Take controll of your life and please for the love of Mike never step foot inside a strip club again. You say you would do anything for these girls whats that suposed to mean? and if you decide to answer dont just write anything means anything

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This darn car is 14 years old and I have over $8000 sunk into it in the past four years and cannot afford anything else now because of all the money I have spent on it and also the money I have spent on the strippers. :(

 

Your doing the same mistake with the strippers that you made with your car your investing to much time and money in them. Stop calling it your local strip joint and think of it as your local hell. Take controll of your life and please for the love of Mike never step foot inside a strip club again. You say you would do anything for these girls whats that suposed to mean? and if you decide to answer dont just write anything means anything

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che_jesse

I am absolutely crazy about her and would literally do almost anything for her.

 

Why?

 

What has this person done for you other then take your money, flirt, and show you her snatch for $20?

 

Is it just female company? Why not just head on down to a club or bar? Its cheaper, you'll have more fun, and you might meet someone thats not a hooker.

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burning 4 revenge

These girls have to think you're the biggest loser in the world. At least go to some different places and mix it up. Don't you get tired of seeing the same ones naked everyday?You can get married if you want that

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burning 4 revenge
I really am a very nice guy and am very caring and considerate and loveing and devoted and honest. I don't understand why I cannot find that one special, wonderful woman that I am looking for.

 

I don't doubt one second that you are a sweet, sensitive man...but I will tell you why you cannot find that one special woman... because you're simply not looking in the right place... this is a strip joint... they are not 'special wonderful women' material... trust me.. most of them already have someone...they are there just for the money... no money they won't even look at you... try it.

 

If you tell them (even more than one woman) that you would do just about anything for them..and you constantly say the same things over and over, I'm sure they think you're desperate, and they (all of them)probably laughing at you behind your back... sorry if I sound harsh..but it's the truth... these women don't give a hoot about you all they want is your money, that's the ONLY reason they're being nice to you... no money no 'candy'.

 

If I were you I would try something else... stop going there... try other places, dating sites for example, go out, shopping malls, I don't know...anywhere BUT that stripper's joint. This is typical from small rural places though... there isn't much to do...but most small villages have one or more stip joints LOL...

 

Good luck!

He could try agematch.com to try and meet an older chick :laugh:
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He could try agematch.com to try and meet an older chick

Hahaha...

Older doesn't mean senile....

I can spot a loser from a long distance, trust me...

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blind_otter

Addiction is a serious issue. If you realize that you have a problem your next step is doing something about it. This doesn't just mean seeing a professional, it means taking yourself in hand and using some self-discipline to control yourself. This means that you will go through a period of withdrawal when you stop going to strip clubs.

 

I have a group of friends who work in strip clubs and let me tell you, they only see you as a loser who gives them money.

 

In the end, though, you'll just do what you want. The point is...I don't think you really know what you want. You've spent so long living in a fantasy that you are no longer based in reality.

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Ladywithafan

It seems to me that you are not paying attention here.

 

These girls are WORKING you!

 

You do have a serious addiction and need help.

 

You may find your self becoming a male escort before long in order to pay your strippers.

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outofdarkness

I didn't have time to read you entire post, but I CAN tell you just from reading the title, that you are a sex addict IMO...You aren't just lonely and addicted to strippers, you're addicted to the whole fantasy thing, and until you get some pro. help, it will only worsen:(..Good luck and God Bless

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