Bleeding heart Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 i am only 16 and my boyfriend who is also 16 abuses me constantly. he hits me when we argue and grabs at my arms restraining me, making me unable to escape. he doesnt let me see my friends or family and when he does he HAS to come with me. he always acuses me of cheating and doesnt trust me. most of the abuse is pychological (he completely messes with my head!) he lies about girls asking him out in a bid to make me jelous, he cheated on me when i was abroad although he strongly denies it, he forces me to have sex with him and i cant stand him being near me! i have to pretend i like it because if i dont he puts on a nasty voice and threatens me. he always asks me to ask for money from my parents so that i can give it to him and when he doesnt get it hell see hell get it off ...(girls name) everytime! i want to get out of this stupid relationship because i hate him I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!! but im too terrified to leave because he always comes after me!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
TrappedScaredAlone Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 Wow girl, I was 16 when my current boyfriend almost killed me by choking me.....and look at where I still am today. The abuse only gets worse because the abuser knows the victim is weaker the longer he/she stays inthe abusive relationship. He's taking advantage of you, you can't change the way he is. I have learned a lot out of getting advice on this forum and now Im passing it on to you. We started dating in sophmore year of highschool which was November of 2000. Now it is almost May of 2006. We have broken up and gotten back together so many times because (I've been told) he has brainwashed me into thinking he is all I deserve and that nobody else would ever put upwith me. Hope this helps some, let me know.......I just don't want you ending up in the same situation as I am in right now. It is SOOO hard to leave someone who you know so well(good and bad) and are comfortable around completely even though he does abuse me. The longer you stay the harder it will be to leave. Dump him on a weekend and leave for the weekend on a trrip or something to get away from him while he's the maddest, let him cool down for a few days. Get away longer if you can, Im sure your parents will understand. Then if you get back and he still wont leave you alone, go to the police or the school cop to make sure he stays away from you at school so you can focus on your schoolwork. Let me know how your doing girl friend! Link to post Share on other sites
TeaCooler Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 i would tell your parents. he can't be with you all the time, so there is no way he can keep you, at 16 years old, from your parents. Link to post Share on other sites
Spank'n'Rationality Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 Go up to that little s***, look him straight in the eyes, and tell him that if he touchs you again, better yet, if he ever comes near you again, you will castrate his ass. I am serious. You are only 16 years old, you don't need that kind of crap in your life; you don't have to take that s*** from anyone. I also agree with teacooler; make your parents aware of what is going on. If he goes to school with you, make your teacher(s)/principle/counselor aware. Men like that certainly don't like (and feel threatened by) strong women, so let him know that you aren't going to take his s*** any more; stand up for yourself. However, don't for one minute let him know that you are affriad of him; it's like the Dog Whisperer says, "Show him that you are the leader of the pack; be dominate." It might not be in your nature, but it is in his (most men are very animalistic in their behavior/thoughts). If you show any signs of weakness, he will pick up on it, and further exploit your fear of him. I know I may seem harsh, but I have had experience with abuse, and, trust me, it doesn't stop until you stand up for yourself; this person had psychologically abused me for years, but one day it turned physical, and the second time it happened, I hit him right back. After his initial shock had passed, he stormed up to me like he was going to kill me. I didn't move, I didn't even flinch; I just looked him right in the eyes and said, "I dare you to hit me again." He is now happy with a woman who has told me that she likes when he abuses her, because it is his way of showing her affection. Please don't become that woman! Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 i am only 16 and my boyfriend who is also 16 abuses me constantly. he hits me when we argue and grabs at my arms restraining me, making me unable to escape. he doesnt let me see my friends or family and when he does he HAS to come with me. he always acuses me of cheating and doesnt trust me. most of the abuse is pychological (he completely messes with my head!) he lies about girls asking him out in a bid to make me jelous, he cheated on me when i was abroad although he strongly denies it, he forces me to have sex with him and i cant stand him being near me! i have to pretend i like it because if i dont he puts on a nasty voice and threatens me. he always asks me to ask for money from my parents so that i can give it to him and when he doesnt get it hell see hell get it off ...(girls name) everytime! i want to get out of this stupid relationship because i hate him I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!! but im too terrified to leave because he always comes after me!!!!!! He's not your boyfriend, he's a money extorting bully who's abusing his power over you emotionally, physically and sexually. You need to tell your parents, and it would also be an idea to inform the police - given his past behaviour towards you. If he's a particularly nasty character (and he sounds it) then you might need a bit more than just your parents for back up. Link to post Share on other sites
TrappedScaredAlone Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 Go up to that little s***, look him straight in the eyes, and tell him that if he touchs you again, better yet, if he ever comes near you again, you will castrate his ass. I am serious. You are only 16 years old, you don't need that kind of crap in your life; you don't have to take that s*** from anyone. I also agree with teacooler; make your parents aware of what is going on. If he goes to school with you, make your teacher(s)/principle/counselor aware. Men like that certainly don't like (and feel threatened by) strong women, so let him know that you aren't going to take his s*** any more; stand up for yourself. However, don't for one minute let him know that you are affriad of him; it's like the Dog Whisperer says, "Show him that you are the leader of the pack; be dominate." It might not be in your nature, but it is in his (most men are very animalistic in their behavior/thoughts). If you show any signs of weakness, he will pick up on it, and further exploit your fear of him. I know I may seem harsh, but I have had experience with abuse, and, trust me, it doesn't stop until you stand up for yourself; this person had psychologically abused me for years, but one day it turned physical, and the second time it happened, I hit him right back. After his initial shock had passed, he stormed up to me like he was going to kill me. I didn't move, I didn't even flinch; I just looked him right in the eyes and said, "I dare you to hit me again." He is now happy with a woman who has told me that she likes when he abuses her, because it is his way of showing her affection. Please don't become that woman! FYI: Im not saying this wont work for you. But when I hit my boyfriend back, it made him madder and he caught me off guard the next time he hit me. When I stood up to him or stood up for myself he cursed more, yelled more......it just got overall worse. Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 Get the cops & your parents involved, hon. Authority is the only thing that is going to make this jerk back down. Link to post Share on other sites
Quinch Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 He's a coward, a thug and an insecure little jerk. I'm betting he has a very small penis as well. Please get away from him and never look back. Do whatever it takes. There are millions more men in the world who will treat you right. I hope you find peace and happiness with one of them soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Quinch Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 If you were my daughter, I would beat the little bastard to death with a baseball bat. I'm sure your father loves you and would like to do the same but I wouldn't have the self-control not to actually do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Orchid2006 Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 Tell your parents!!! You are only 16, I'm sure your parents would want to know about your stupid boyfriend! Link to post Share on other sites
No Stress Lady Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 Tell your parents!!! You are only 16, I'm sure your parents would want to know about your stupid boyfriend! Absolutely - tell your parents - you should NOT be putting up with this bullying little toe-rag. Can I ask - do you live with your parents? How can he "not let you see them"? Perhaps you need to give a little more information about your circumstances - then people can give you some specific and more helpful advice. For what it's worth I'd give the little s**t some words of advice myself - stay away from you or deal with the police. What a pathetic little a**hole he is. Please make sure you get yourself away from this jerk as soon as possible. There are plenty of people out there who can help you to do this. Link to post Share on other sites
Coochie Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 Hey there Bleeding Heart - (I bet it's breaking too huh?) I know that it's not easy to leave him - and chances are that he will come after you/threaten you/cajole you/woo you/make promises to change/threaten to harm himself ... but the fact is that he is abusing you and this WILL NOT GET BETTER. You are not responsible for any of his actions or behaviour. It isn't caused by anything that he may say it is caused by - other than the fact that he needs/wants power & control over you. Being young makes no difference to how difficult it may be to leave him, (at least you don't have kids together & therefore have to maintain some sort of contact with him until they're old enough to leave home!) -you love him. But somewhere,somehow, you have to find the respect & love for yourself that will gve you the courage to make that break. You may need help - from your parents (if they're functional & supportive - as embarrassing as it may be for you to tell them), the school guidance counsellor, a domestic violence worker, a youth worker - a friend you can trust to at least talk to - and you may need to take some preventitive action like a protection order. It will be scary, it will be hard, it will, maybe at times, feel like life isn't worth it but in the end, when his methods of control are out of your life & you no longer spend your days walking on eggshells - you will feel free to grow into the woman you are going to be and that will be ever more wonderful because of the strength that this experience has given you. Goodluck baby - my thoughs are with you. You NEED to do this and you CAN!! Link to post Share on other sites
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