LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Mind, Body & Soul > Abuse

I am a man that is a victim of DV........I think


Abuse Support for and discussion of psychological, physical, and sexual abuse.

Like Tree6Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 30th January 2018, 7:31 PM   #16
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 18,165
Of course, your childhood abuse is what has made you accept this abuse. You keep going to the therapist and tell her all about this abuse. You should not stay with someone who cracked you in the eye. You may be a jerk sometimes, but unless you're hitting her first, she's in the wrong, criminally so. You don't deserve this abuse any more than you deserved your childhood abuse.

Keep seeing the therapist, and then once you are thinking clearly, I urge you to get out of the house from your wife unless she herself goes into therapy and starts with anger management.

You have ongoing abuse. It's wrong. It's HORRIBLE for the kids to witness, and don't think they don't notice.
__________________
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30th January 2018, 8:14 PM   #17
New Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 6
Quote:
Originally Posted by healing light View Post
If a woman came on this board with the same scenario, there’s not a soul who would tell her to try martial counseling to repair the relationship. She would be advised to leave.

It shouldn’t be any different just because you’re a man.

Very true, yet it is still hard for me to see it this way. I feel like I should be able to fix this yet I know I cant.



Quote:
Originally Posted by healing light View Post

Trust me, your kids are being exposed to this toxic mess and they will require therapy to undo the damage of it when they start attracting bad partners from the subconscious conditioning occurring in this household.

This scares me so much. I know how things are currently but I have no idea what they will be like if we split. I'm actually scared it might be worse for them after.




Quote:
Originally Posted by preraph View Post
Of course, your childhood abuse is what has made you accept this abuse. You keep going to the therapist and tell her all about this abuse.

Last night he told me that I have chronic complex ptsd. Seems I fit that diagnosis to a T. I also suggested the idea that she may be borderline. He knows I research everything and he smiled and said he wondered when I would come up with that idea. He was thinking possibly BPD or NPD, although he was quick to suggest she needs to be seen by a psychologist no mater what we assume.




Quote:
Originally Posted by preraph View Post

Keep seeing the therapist, and then once you are thinking clearly, I urge you to get out of the house from your wife unless she herself goes into therapy and starts with anger management.


I am thinking so much more clearly than even a few days ago. My therapist has really been great. At first I thought he wasn't helping me, I wanted him to tell me what to do and he wasn't. I realize now that I had to figure it out on my own. He asked me some questions last night that were clearly worded so he could figure out where I was in processing everything. When a response to one of his questions was that separation will be necessary he just started at me with a look of success. He has not once suggested I do anything but just makes me think and therefore prompting me to come to my own conclusions. . I guess that's what he's
supposed to do.




Thanks for reading and commenting. This is definitely a form of therapy on its own.
confusedman2002 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31st January 2018, 12:28 AM   #18
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: California
Posts: 347
The kids will be worse off if you stay. Being in that toxic household will imprint them to attract other toxic people and situations. It would be better for them to witness their father standing up for himself and getting out of an abusive situation than to witness fighting/physical abuse and being subjected to verbal derision like it's normal. Taking them out of that environment will be more stable than subjecting them to her toxic ways.

I've dealt with borderline people off their meds--absolute hell, was always walking on eggshells not knowing what crazy **** would set them off. Staying would result in far more grievances for the kids and you, imo.
healing light is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st February 2018, 2:11 PM   #19
New Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 9
It took a lot of guts to share this. Domestic Violence is wrong regardless of who is doing it. One of the mistakes I think society has made is thinking only men abuse women etc. According to statistics women initiate DV around 40-50% of the time, so in other words men and women both are wrong in how they treat the opposite sex sometimes. I know the argument is that men are stronger. Well, here's the thing. One, men in general are stronger as a collective whole but an individual woman can be stronger than an individual man, so if that is the case does that give her a right to beat up her man because she is stronger? Yet, the courts, police, etc probably still aren't going to do much for him. That's wrong. Two, regardless of who is stronger, if a man or a woman stand there and take it they can be hurt too. There are two things no person, man or woman deserves. One is to be cheated on and two, to be abused. Good luck to you sir!
kindnessmatters is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Don't be the victim in this luck1978 Coping 3 3rd December 2015 8:57 PM
i am a victim of G.I.G.S AlexisMacabre Coping 2 19th November 2011 5:55 PM
Are you a victim? Silly_Girl The Other Man / Woman 89 9th September 2011 1:46 AM
Is an BS always necessary a victim? PlayfulRuddy Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy 37 29th December 2010 11:10 PM
Who's the Victim? Him or Me? DesertDweller The Other Man / Woman 32 8th May 2005 4:13 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 2:43 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.