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Was I love bombed?


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Old 31st December 2017, 11:58 PM   #1
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Was I love bombed?

Hello everyone,

I was recently in a month long relationship. I am almost positive I was "love bombed". Ill give you some background and maybe someone can give me some advice on this situation.

Im 29 and in good shape, have a good career, and have never been in this type on intense relationship, I've also had a 5 year relationship and it was easier to get over than the feelings that I'm currently feeling. She is also my age and is in good shape, and also has a good career. So I met this girl online, we went on a date and hit it off right away. We ended up being sexual later that night and had quite a few drinks. It was an intense night and a intense morning of talking and getting to know each other. Fast forward 2-3 weeks and we have stayed in contact all day long and would text each other good morning / good night. We talked about me moving closer to her ( she lived about 2 /12 hours away from me ), talked about even moving into a apartment together when her lease was up in the summer time, she called me her future boyfriend, she told me that she wanted to do life with me and I was her soul mate, and she wanted to get married and asked me what kind of wedding I wanted, etc. I was completely hooked. So I asked her to be my girlfriend, biggest mistake of my life. We went out to eat that night, had more drinks and ended up sleeping together. The following morning we drove around her town and she was telling me where she would like to live with me and couldn't wait live to with me. She was also very touchy and was always trying to kiss me. So she flys home for christmas and I get a text that morning and it said that we needed time apart and she no longer wanted to be together, the night before she was telling me how in love she was with me.

Any advice because I have no idea what is going on, but it seems like I was love bombed and used to fill her ego and when we were officially a couple, then she completely cut me off.

Thanks!
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Old 1st January 2018, 12:08 AM   #2
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maybe you were a convenient rebound and she reconnected with someone back home? I dunno.

Leave it cold. If she begs for reconciliation, leave it cold. Who goes hot and cold in a month long relationship anyways? She sounds like a trainwreck.
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Old 1st January 2018, 1:33 AM   #3
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She met up with someone while she went home. She wanted to have sex with him without feeling guilty about being with you. So she broke up.

No consideration for YOUR feelings.

What a schmuck! At least you know what she's really like.

Do NOT take her back - she will come begging once she's back home and realizes you're not around.

Find someone new to date... she's just not worth thinking about.
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Old 4th January 2018, 11:11 PM   #4
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Sounds EXACTLY like someone I was involved with not long ago. Heard all the same things: She wanted to move away together, get married (asked me what kind of wedding I wanted too), wanted to have one son and one daughter, said she would change some of her ways for me, etc... but I was just a rebound.

I'm sorry you went through this. She is selfish, dude. You weren't in love with her, just the image of who she advertised herself to be. She knew what relationship would appeal to you and dangled it in front of your face to keep you hooked. She did it not because she wanted to hurt you, but because she was too selfish in needing to feel special and see someone pawn over her, and that took priority for her more than being ethical (look up narcissism online sometime).

These situations are always brutal in trying to get over because the fantasy that was painted was so nice. Again, I'm really, really sorry[]

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 4th January 2018 at 11:40 PM.. Reason: Topical content
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Old 16th January 2018, 9:24 PM   #5
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Move on.. you are still young and attractive.. consider her another conquest if it helps but got and cold, you are wasting your time with her.

Aren't you glad it happened now instead of when you moved to where she is?
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Old 16th January 2018, 9:47 PM   #6
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i don't know if its classed as love bombing but there's the right thing to do and the wrong thing to do .....and she did the wrong by you.....either intentionally knowing full well she wasnt into you or a sudden change of heart that was unintentional...either way...

it was her doing wrong by you making her wrong for you....so the blessing by her being wrong for you and have done wrong to you is you are now free to have the woman who will do right by you and be right for you....

love bombing is a term with shades of grey always open to interpretation...


wrong and right...are black and white...easily discerned and fool proof....also easiest to deal with....finding out who is wrong for you is just as helpful to learn because it allows you to be free to find the right...be thankful.....you found out early she was wrong for you it was a blessing in disguise....which blessings often are....disguised as bad ...but are actually good for you......deb
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Old 16th January 2018, 11:09 PM   #7
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Two things you have to learn:

First, when people show you who they are, believe them. You can listen to what people say, but believe what they do.

Secondly, every relationship with a woman is day-to-day. What she said yesterday, what you all did together days, weeks, months, and years ago means nothing. What you did for her days, weeks, months, and years ago doesn't matter. How she said she felt and what plans you made days, weeks ... you get the point. Nothing matters but what she feels today. And, today, she's not feeling you. Why? Who knows? It doesn't matter. The results are the same. Today ... she's not feeling you.

That's a hard lesson for young men to learn. We like to think yesterday matters. What was said, done, and planned yesterday matters. It doesn't. All that matters is what she feels. Today. Which can change in an instant for a multitude of reasons.

You can drive yourself crazy trying to figure out why. Don't do it. Just deal with the reality that she's not with you today.

In my opinion, the best way to have a relationship is to enjoy today. Realizing yesterday is gone and we don't know what tomorrow may bring.
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Old 16th January 2018, 11:19 PM   #8
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It sounds to me like there was love bombing going on from both of you. That is just crazy fast to move.
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Old 17th January 2018, 12:00 AM   #9
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Yeah. How the heck do you decide to marry someone after knowing them just 3 weeks? Did you even ever meet her friends or parents?
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