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How can a large man be the victim?


Abuse Support for and discussion of psychological, physical, and sexual abuse.

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Old 28th December 2017, 12:46 PM   #46
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Originally Posted by rubyjuly View Post
In the majority of cases males with an abusive female partner didn't result in injuries that required medical attention,
First of all.. most if not almost all of the cases of women to male abuse DO NOT get reported, I never reported any of mine.
So your stats are severely skewed....

I think society in general expects a male to show and stay strong, not show any weaknesses and that is why when a male gets abused he doesn't report and lets it continue.. to report it would look weak.

It took me leaving and therapy to realize that I was even being abused.. I took it as everyday life with my then wife.

I was only married to her for 5 years but those five years I have enough abusive things she did, financially as well to fill a book.. no kidding.

Women who don't hold the purse strings can also perpetrate financial abuse too...
The DV wheel works with both the male and female being the abuser.
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Old 28th December 2017, 4:03 PM   #47
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Women are equal to men... that doesn't mean they are the same as men. Children are equal to adults but not the same. A woman is equal but biologically different which doesn't just include a different lower genital area it includes the whole physiology.

Some stats that I found say 1 in 3 female homicide victims were the victim of male perpetrated domestic violence that was lethal to the woman. 1 in 20 men who are homicide victims are from an intimate partner who in 89% of the cases was male on male- iow it was a same sex male-male domestic violence relationship.

97% of murder suicide victims are **female-- from a male intimate partner.

While women can act abusively towards a man, the results are quite different. In the majority of cases males with an abusive female partner didn't result in injuries that required medical attention, while female victims assaulted by a male partner resulted in injuries that required medical intervention and transport to ER.
This may very well all be true. So what? It has nothing to do with abused men. It doesn't disprove that some men are abused by females.
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Old 30th December 2017, 5:15 PM   #48
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Because he refuses to hit a woman, which is right. He should just get away from her because she's violent and he's not, lucky for her. He has ethics and she does not.
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Old 31st December 2017, 3:30 PM   #49
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Originally Posted by Art_Critic View Post
First of all.. most if not almost all of the cases of women to male abuse DO NOT get reported, I never reported any of mine.
So your stats are severely skewed....

I think society in general expects a male to show and stay strong, not show any weaknesses and that is why when a male gets abused he doesn't report and lets it continue.. to report it would look weak.

It took me leaving and therapy to realize that I was even being abused.. I took it as everyday life with my then wife.

I was only married to her for 5 years but those five years I have enough abusive things she did, financially as well to fill a book.. no kidding.

Women who don't hold the purse strings can also perpetrate financial abuse too...
The DV wheel works with both the male and female being the abuser.
Well to clarify what I thought was already known, they're not "my" stats, they are researched collected stats. Don't blame me if you don't like what the stats are, I'm just relaying what they are.
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Old 10th January 2018, 10:05 PM   #50
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This is the first time I've ever heard of anything like this. I'll refer to the victim as Mike.

By my neighbor's own account and him as a witness once, his best friend Mike used to literally get physically abused by his wife. The abuse started after their 2nd year of marriage till they finally divorced after their oldest daughter graduated from High School.

Two of the incidents told:
- They got into an argument and he locked himself in the bathroom, thinking there was nothing she could do at that point. The woman still broke the door with all her might and started landing some blows.

- Him walking away and getting in his car while his wife was yelling profanities and chasing him with a broom.


I've been introduced to Mike once and that guy is 6'4, around 220 lbs. His then wife was an insignificant 5'6 and 125 Ibs. I'm new this is type of ironic abuse. No one deserves to get abused but wow how can a giant like that get abused?
Simple. He can't hit back.

I went through the same thing and I was bigger than my ex, but scared to even TOUCH her when she was drunk and having a go at me. All you can do is either give in and stay there or try to escape. But the second you lay a finger on them, a man at the very least FEARS being arrested.

There were times when I'd try to escape and she'd block the door yelling "Hit me again" so her kids would hear. I never laid a finger on her, but she held the cards so I had to walk back and lay down in bed next to her, only for her to shout at me to hold her. And I did, to stop the arguing. So a woman abused me and I wound up holding her, snuggling her to sleep.

Stats be dammed, I know what I went through and I'm glad I got out of that nightmare.

Last edited by Seymore; 10th January 2018 at 10:18 PM..
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Old 12th January 2018, 2:16 PM   #51
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I know some really gentle big men. The size of a person doesn't speak to the emotional temperament.

I am stronger than my ex-wife, but during our relationship she slapped me at least 3x w/o my returning or raising a hand. It was and is not my way to strike a woman.

Simple. Some people are much better at controlling themselves, resisting violence.
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Old 12th January 2018, 7:27 PM   #52
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I know some really gentle big men. The size of a person doesn't speak to the emotional temperament.

I am stronger than my ex-wife, but during our relationship she slapped me at least 3x w/o my returning or raising a hand. It was and is not my way to strike a woman.

Simple. Some people are much better at controlling themselves, resisting violence.
Yup. Speaks volumes about the amount of control we have!
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Old 12th January 2018, 8:10 PM   #53
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If in doubt as to what the topic is, re-read the original starting post in the thread. If that seems ambiguous, read the title of the thread. If still confused, there are thousands of other threads on LoveShack.org to read and post to. We encourage it! Thanks!
Noting some slippage of late, I'll bump this up as a third and final reminder to focus on how a large man can become a victim. Not women, not dogs, not cats, a large man and *how*. Feel free to start threads on other topics elsewhere.
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