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my gf beat me up


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Old 17th August 2017, 9:03 PM   #1
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my gf beat me up

So my gf and I are a lesbian couple who’ve been together almost 3 years. We have always had a great, loving relationship up until this incident. We don’t live together but we’re always together. About a week ago when this incident occurred, she was over my place. We got into a stupid, petty argument over some girl commenting on her Instagram pics. Anyways the argument escalated and I said “Go kill yourself like your pathetic mother.” A little background info on my gf is her mom suffered from severe bipolar/depression, and drug abuse and killed herself a few years prior. So anyways after I said this, I immediately regretted it, but it was too late my gf punched me in the mouth. I tried fighting back but she’s much bigger and stronger. She basically beat the sh*t out of me. I was crying and screaming until she stopped and left.*

I haven’t seen her since this incident but we’ve talked on the phone. She keeps apologizing saying she blacked out, and it won’t happen again. I believe her cus she’s never shown signs of violence in the past. But I still don’t feel like I should just forgive and move on so easily. Please help. I’m at a loss.
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Old 17th August 2017, 9:16 PM   #2
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Break up with her. And go and address your own appalling behaviour. There is zero excuse for you saying such a thing to her.
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Old 17th August 2017, 9:22 PM   #3
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That is a really terrible thing to say to anyone, particularly someone who has experienced the traumatic death of a loved one.

You should break up. Both of you need to develop some self control and learn how to treat someone you love with respect.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 18th August 2017 at 7:16 AM.. Reason: advocating violence ~T
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Old 17th August 2017, 9:27 PM   #4
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Regardless what the argument was over, to say something so hurtful and despicable to someone you "love" is a sign of deep issues.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 18th August 2017 at 7:17 AM.. Reason: comment advocating violence ~T
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Old 17th August 2017, 9:28 PM   #5
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Yeah, I'm going to say you break up. What you said hit a deep nerve on her and she reacted because she has years and probably decades of pain built up and no doubt rage as well she's had to deal with. So what you said was unforgiveable and she should break up with you because you are that low.

And then you should break up with her because she had uncontrolled rage and you triggered it, and there's no guarantee at all that this won't happen again.

It's over. Both of you move on and break contact. Just because you're both sorry doesn't mean you should stay together, because neither of you have control over yourself.
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Old 17th August 2017, 9:35 PM   #6
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Count me as another that doesn't condone violence.

But yeah, I would have probably blacked out in rage and kicked your ass as well.

What you said was unforgivable, can never be taken back, and shouldn't be said to your worse enemy let alone some one you love.

If someone had said this to a sister of mine.... I would be kicking their ass...
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Old 17th August 2017, 10:10 PM   #7
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That's past the point of no return. Trust me - once violence happens once, it WILL happen again. And you're also extremely cruel to her with your statement, this will always stay in her mind no matter what she says and will resurface in the worst time possible.
Take it from someone who knows ins and outs of physical and verbal violence...
This is just OVER. Leave before it gets worse.
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Old 17th August 2017, 11:24 PM   #8
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It's not just insensitive. It was cruel. You knew that it would hurt... You knew that it would destroy her - and you said it. That, is why we are all saying that you are also at fault in this confrontation.

Physical violence is never acceptable. But, you can't purposefully provoke someone, do the one thing that will hurt the most, and expect that there will not be a consequence.

Those words can never be unsaid. She will never forget that comment. Sorry.
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Old 17th August 2017, 11:29 PM   #9
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You did no deserve to be hit, but neither did she deserve your horrendous comment. The only way past this is both individual and couples therapy. I am not morally equivocating verbal abuse with physical abuse. Physical abuse is worse given the possibility of maiming or mortality. But verbal abuse is bad, and you were verbally abusive. I don't believe you can apologize back towards a healthy relationship. Neither of you can feel safe. The only way is with reflection and professional help. But I would recommend that if marriage and kids were involved. Absent that, I'd walk and work on myself.
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Old 17th August 2017, 11:49 PM   #10
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you two need to breakup. what you said was emotionally abusive and cruel, and what she did was physically abusive and cruel. therefore, you both can't take it back. i also suggest that you both get your own therapists/seek counseling to find healthier ways to express anger and upset.
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Old 17th August 2017, 11:50 PM   #11
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You were verbally abusive to your girlfriend. She was physically abusive to you. Neither of these behaviors are acceptable in a healthy relationship. Which is why we are all saying, you should break up and educate yourselves so that this kind of behavior never happens for either one of you, ever again. Grow from this experience.

I'm sorry that you were hurt. Hopefully, you are feeling better soon.
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Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 18th August 2017 at 7:04 AM.. Reason: response to deleted post ~T
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Old 18th August 2017, 12:23 AM   #12
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The problem with your comment is there are TWO hugely hateful things you said,

You used her mother's suicide to hurt her

You told her to do the same.

And this was over what you said was a "petty" argument. I'd hate to see what a legitimate argument would result in.

That having been said, your GF should be in jail for assault and battery.

Neither of you are ready for a long term relationship if a "petty" argument can turn into the most horrible thing I've ever heard anyone say to another followed by an all out physical assault.

Part ways
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Old 18th August 2017, 12:44 AM   #13
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Both people were abusive in this instance. Both were wrong. Music violence is more extreme and therefore more wrong.
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Old 18th August 2017, 12:57 AM   #14
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You were emotionally abusive towards her.

I don't condone violence but in my brief abusive relationship I wish that it had been physical instead of emotional, physical heals faster.

You can be safe in the knowledge that your pain will be healed and gone much faster than hers will.

That was a despicable thing to say OP and particularly personal and cruel.

What on earth were you arguing about for you to think at the time this was an appropriate thing to say and that no consequences would come of it?
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Old 18th August 2017, 1:37 AM   #15
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Horrible move on your part.....I wouldn't raise a hand to a woman, but id flatten any guy that pulled that type of crap....

You will live...Just take your lumps...Violence is not the answer, but as the others have said, its probably justified in that instance....

TFY
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