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I have stopped self harming 8 years ago and survivor of mulitable abuse over 15 years


Abuse Support for and discussion of psychological, physical, and sexual abuse.

Old 11th May 2005, 7:45 PM   #1
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I have stopped self harming 8 years ago and survivor of mulitable abuse over 15 years

hello

I am a 31 years old male and I stopped self-harming 8 years ago; I started at age 13, as years whent by it got worse and worse which nearly killed me. I have irrversable damage to my 12 vertabrea which is a reminder for life, it sometimes hurts alot and have been told it will get worse as I get older.

When it does happen I am scared the medical staff will alienate me for my past and think why should we give him respect!!!!....may be I am being paranoid? but some people don't understand how traumatizing life can be...life can wear you down to the edges of despare. On many occasions I have told that I am stupid and weak, for doing the things I did but do they know the ins outs of my life and why this happend.

How did I get over the self-harm: I got fed up of the pain and my cat helped me; it gave me the resposabilty of a life, something to keep safe from danger and I loved her so much. She died last year and I thought how the hell am I gonna cope now....I wanted to go back to self-harm; I soon realized her life would be meaningless and I had a duty to carry on with my life the best way I can. I now have another rescued cat called CID who keeps me on my toes...lol

During my 6 admissions to psychiactic hospitals I have seen so many people from all walks of life. Police officers, Paramedics, musicains, artist and soldiers; I have seen good and bad endings to people lives.

During my years I have seen 7 therapist and only one spcialized in self-harm, he was good but would not go into issues about my childhood and said it would be too dangerous for me. I have never met any therapist who deal with child abuse.


Too all surviors, be strong and hang in there and try and keep safe.
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Old 11th May 2005, 8:40 PM   #2
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Quote:
When it does happen I am scared the medical staff will alienate me for my past and think why should we give him respect!!!!....may be I am being paranoid?
That'll never happen DR. Medical staff are trained to remain neutral and objective. That is why they are able to save the lives of drug dealers and other various criminals who have been shot on the street.

Every life is worth saving…every person worth helping.

I find it remarkable that you are even able to give love and care (even to a helpless animal) when never having received it yourself. There's something incredibly strong inside you that enables you to bond and connect on a deeper level having never learned (or been taught) by those entrusted with your care. You'd be amazed at how many individuals I have met who had that ability beaten right out of them and may never reach the place where you are. I still have terrible, sad memories of those children who were so beyond help that I find it painful to even discuss till this day. It has changed me inside…and the way I view the world forever

But healing starts with "self love"…and by some miracle you have discovered that. Please don't ever stop…and please, please, try to avoid ever going back to that sad, painful place.

Quote:
Too all surviors, be strong and hang in there and try and keep safe.
Have you ever thought about helping other survivors of child abuse by sharing your insight and knowledge? Perhaps there is a local group meeting who could benefit from what you have to share. It would be a good way to connect emotionally to people and nurture your desire to "care" for others…if you think you're strong enough.
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Old 11th May 2005, 9:00 PM   #3
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i'm sorry, but what is "mulitable" abuse?

it doesn't sound good...

in any case, sorry for whatever you went through. if you spent time trying to get away from someone hurting you, there's no reason to hurt yourself.

hope you're getting good help.

good luck.
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Old 19th May 2005, 12:08 PM   #4
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Hugs to you Duck for all that you've been through and for all of your strength.

Peace,
Nine
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