Dandy Posted March 20, 2017 Share Posted March 20, 2017 I am not in this type of relationship. As a matter of fact, my ex is the one that is living through this. We cut contact for almost 3 months until I felt something was wrong with her. There was even a thread on this forums asking about sixth sense stories and I posted mines. Anyway, I texted her asking if she was ok and it turns out that this guy she is with beat her and sent her to the hospital. She described to me that it happened after work. He got angry and pushed her but she fell. Apparently her knew was swollen because of how hard he pushed her. During that fight he hit her, grabbed her by the neck and shook her head, choked her, and chased her when she tried to escape from his home. Apparently his anger is very scary. She says it scares her and treats her bad when he's like that. She told me about this other time that they fought. Apparently he threatened to kick her out of her house and her clothes. Why does she stay? Well her economic situation isnt the best. Her parents moved to a small place and she didnt feel alright there so she moved with him. Now after everything that happened she admitted that if her parents lived in the other house of if she had her own place she wouldnt be living with him. She feels that her parents don't miss her. I guess part of the problem is that she only told them part of the truth (which is that he pushed her and she fell). She is also depressed because of him. She admitted to me she feels isolated and says her physical appearance shows she is miserable. Now, I know I can't save her and I'm not trying to. I'm not trying to get back with her. It's pretty useless. But I genuinely fear for her safety and I still care about her. But my question to you all is: Should I be there for her? I don't know how often the abuse happens. Their relationship is young, about 4 months now. Statistically, it gets worse and even though I'm carrying on with my life (dating other people, going out, ect) I still worry about the many things that can happen. If her depression/situation gets worse she's the type of person to commit suicide. Link to post Share on other sites
curiouslysearching Posted March 20, 2017 Share Posted March 20, 2017 I am not in this type of relationship. As a matter of fact, my ex is the one that is living through this. We cut contact for almost 3 months until I felt something was wrong with her. There was even a thread on this forums asking about sixth sense stories and I posted mines. Anyway, I texted her asking if she was ok and it turns out that this guy she is with beat her and sent her to the hospital. She described to me that it happened after work. He got angry and pushed her but she fell. Apparently her knew was swollen because of how hard he pushed her. During that fight he hit her, grabbed her by the neck and shook her head, choked her, and chased her when she tried to escape from his home. Apparently his anger is very scary. She says it scares her and treats her bad when he's like that. She told me about this other time that they fought. Apparently he threatened to kick her out of her house and her clothes. Why does she stay? Well her economic situation isnt the best. Her parents moved to a small place and she didnt feel alright there so she moved with him. Now after everything that happened she admitted that if her parents lived in the other house of if she had her own place she wouldnt be living with him. She feels that her parents don't miss her. I guess part of the problem is that she only told them part of the truth (which is that he pushed her and she fell). She is also depressed because of him. She admitted to me she feels isolated and says her physical appearance shows she is miserable. Now, I know I can't save her and I'm not trying to. I'm not trying to get back with her. It's pretty useless. But I genuinely fear for her safety and I still care about her. But my question to you all is: Should I be there for her? I don't know how often the abuse happens. Their relationship is young, about 4 months now. Statistically, it gets worse and even though I'm carrying on with my life (dating other people, going out, ect) I still worry about the many things that can happen. If her depression/situation gets worse she's the type of person to commit suicide. HELP HER if you can. You thought enough of her at one point to be in a relationship with her and she now needs help. There is simply NO PLACE for a man to be verbally, emotionally or physically abusive to any woman. It simply should NEVER happen regardless of the situation. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dandy Posted May 30, 2017 Author Share Posted May 30, 2017 If anybody cares, I need to express that this guy abused her again. This time he smashed her head against a wall and cut part of the skin so her head was bleeding. She had to go to the hospital again. After that, she was not so good mentally. Panic attacks, depression, suicide, etc. The only help I could give her was the numbers and addresses for organizations that specialize in helping victims of abuse. For some time she didnt wanna go but now she is ready and will go tomorrow morning. My question to anyone who can answer it: Why do some people not want to help themselves? I warned her that he will abuse her again and she didn't believe me. I told her if she gets pregnant by him she will have a miserable future and doesnt believe me. Is it part of the abuse or are some people just like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 (edited) My question to anyone who can answer it: Why do some people not want to help themselves? I warned her that he will abuse her again and she didn't believe me. I told her if she gets pregnant by him she will have a miserable future and doesnt believe me. Is it part of the abuse or are some people just like that. There is no short answer. Men don't start abusing their partner all of a sudden, they start slowly to test us and then they escalate it slowly till they reach full blown abuse. They play with our mind, they isolate us from our family and friends, they play with our mind and slowly make us beleive we are nothing without them, we won't survive without them and we are the cause of their anger. A woman that remains in an abusive relationship suffers. She has been manipulated and controlled in so many ways that she lost all sense of judgement. She has become incapabable to judge if a sitation is dangerour, or abusive. She is completely brainwashed. No woman with her full mind would remain in such abusive relationship. It's useless to judge a woman that doesn't leave. She does not have all of her mind. One day she will leave probably when her life is in danger and it may take her months even years to understand why she ended up there. Edited June 7, 2017 by Gaeta 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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