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What worked for you? Getting over abuse/gaslighting/cheating/lying etc.


Abuse Support for and discussion of psychological, physical, and sexual abuse.

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Old 28th February 2017, 12:56 AM   #601
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Yes^. 600 messages on this. Hehe.

I think one of the most important things for me is to find a new job that is more rewarding than my current one.
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Old 28th February 2017, 1:52 PM   #602
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Yes^. 600 messages on this. Hehe.
Hmmmm, openly admitting a manipulative streak...you've confirmed my suspicions. Watch out posters.
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"Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other." - Carl Jung
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Old 28th February 2017, 1:59 PM   #603
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Hmmmm, openly admitting a manipulative streak...you've confirmed my suspicions. Watch out posters.
Im sorry but I dont understand the meaning of this message?
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Old 28th February 2017, 2:13 PM   #604
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Well anyway I had a really good day today at work and good meeting with my manager. I have now feeling stuff at work is going towards right direction. I am still looking since I am underpaid but hopefully that will change too.

I also found Feldenkrais class. So I might go there again. I am super excited for my new hobbies and it feels good to be on the move again.

I do think that things with bf have improved a lot too.

I feel like I am starting to get my **** together despite my anxiouty attack last Sunday. And that things are going like their supposed to go.

I feel so good after talking with my manager because I was so worried of my private life affecting my work life too much. But she was very understanding and supportive and said its nice to see that Im feeling better now.
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Old 1st March 2017, 3:41 AM   #605
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I had to tell my friend that she needs to stop complaining to me. I feel like all the time she is doing nothing but complaining to me about her life and things that bother her. It is very tiring to just listen to someone complain. I have been wondering why we are even friends since we dont have anything to talk about. Only her complaining to me. Yesterday she was having a good day so she didnt text me anything the whole day.. When I tell her that if she is unhappy about something then she probably should do something about it. But she never does anything! She just plays video games and complains how she gets nothing done.

I have now decided not to complain during this month. I will say 3 things I am grateful every morning. I wont complaim about work or stuff like that. Instead of that I will try to better myself and things around me and my life.

Hopefully by end of month I will see change in me and my life. I believe through action and work things will change and unnecessary complains are just harmful for brain and mentality.
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Old 1st March 2017, 12:31 PM   #606
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Im sorry but I dont understand the meaning of this message?
Make sure you're posting here for genuine reasons, for support and not to gain the most messages/popularity at the expense of posters' caring, heartfelt responses.
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Old 1st March 2017, 2:21 PM   #607
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^ Okay well dont worry about that. It was totally innocent comment. Only noticed that and was surprised.
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Old 1st March 2017, 2:27 PM   #608
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On another note. I asked bf if he would be interested on attending some sports class with me and he didnt say no. It might be nice to do something like that with him.

Also being back at dancing felt so good. I was humming all the way back home. I dont know why I ever stopped and thought I am too old to go back. Not many things had changed after all. Also was nice feeling having someone comment and guide and support. Going to gym is like me time but attending class is also nice. I talked to this one older lady there and I am actually little bit hopeful to get some friends from there.

I also joined this one group of people looking for new friends. So i was planning on attending some social event.

Its kind of difficult to make new friends. But I have tried go be more open at work too. So I am hoping to be invited to some social stuff at work too.
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Old 1st March 2017, 2:28 PM   #609
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Blah double post.. Dont know what happened.
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Old 7th March 2017, 4:10 AM   #610
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I realised something during past couple of weeks. One day bf and I were talking about something and he said Im so jealous. He had misunderstood me. And I stopped and realised that I wasnt actually jealous. I wasnt feeling jealous at all. It took me by surprise because I was expecting me to be jealous but I realised I hadnt had jealous feelings for a while. And I had got past it.

Yesterday we talked about cheating because of my bff getting jealous of her bf. So bf and I talked about cheating and social constructs related to cheating and how it is hard for men if woman cheats on them. And then he asked me how it would make me feel like. And I was suddenly perplexed because I didnt have an answer. And when I said I would probably think how I ended up here again and why he cheated instead of leaving me and what that other person has to make him go there instead of being with me. It just felt kind of wrong. And then I got epiphany that I have now reached that level what I have been aiming for that I have understood it actually has nothing to do with me. But him.

And that realisation striked me so hard.

But it was interesting talk though. I never though bf as one of those men who are culturally infected but he is right certain things are so deeply built in our society that it is hard to fight against them.

Last edited by Fruitee; 7th March 2017 at 4:14 AM..
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Old 13th March 2017, 11:10 AM   #611
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I have come to the realisation that my parents dont really care about me. And my friends mostly seek me out to get help. Yesterday I was sad and I felt like bf couldnt offer me the support I needed. So I have been questioning myself regarding him too. Right now I feel like **** and accepting hard truth of my family is very painful.
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Old 14th March 2017, 4:07 AM   #612
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Bf came to me yesterday. I feel so sad because of my dad. But at the same time Im proud of myself letting bf close and being vulnerable. Which is not usual for me. My behaviour has been pushing people away and hiding in my shell.
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Old 14th March 2017, 2:58 PM   #613
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Im so glad this day is over. I took a long walk to clear my head and I feel better. I guess these things will happen. But I can now manage my emotions. Its ok to cry and be sad. I dont feel like dying. I know I will survive. Its weird how I feel.
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Old 19th March 2017, 12:49 AM   #614
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What you're describing is life. Growing older. Realizing that life isn't guaranteed to be a great experience. That there are good and bad times. And that what life is, is all about how you handle both. You're doing great.
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Old 21st March 2017, 5:51 AM   #615
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^ Yes! I felt super depressed last week and I was snapping all the time. But I told my close ones that Im going through something and I need understanding now. So now Im feeling better and I pushed through even I was so sad I couldnt stop crying. I am proud of myself tho. Since I allowed myself to be sad but I also knew I will get through this.

I have been to one job interview and I have another one coming up. So Im hopeful for new job. I redid my CV and it seems to be working.

School is going ok too.

Bf and I have found stabile way of living and we communicate. He is being serious about me and pushing me when it is needed.
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