A bad situation

[monica_24_00]

[sIZE=3]I am 24 years old now. I had a bad abusive relationship with a man who was 20 years older when i was 15 years old that lasted four years. I was heavily controlled in that relationship and manipulated. I was also underage and didnt know how to leave, Thank God i did with the help of friends and family. I am looking for help with this situation: I met my ex two years ago and we got romantically involved very soon. He is 5 years older. I had issues from my past relationships,insecurity, low self esteem, abuse, I felt I didn't deserve love. He started looking through my phone whenever he wanted, he began reminding me of what my ex did. Controlling behaviour and i cheated on him, he knew. A couple months in, he got colder and more distant so i broke it off with him. After that he came to my work suggesting we go out for coffee and that it would be best for us to be friends. I did and we started dating again, but i cheated again so then he became distant and cold again. The same thing happened. It was like a bad cycle. After he threatened me saying "you dont know who my friends are and what they are capable of" i broke it off, got off facebook and changed my number, etc. I wanted him to find someone better and live his life and just forget me. Just Recently, 10 months later after I left him, i got a new facebook. He found me on facebook and added me soon after i did. He sent me messages saying how he wants to still be talking, etc, asking what im up to and flirting, he wants my new number. But i dont think I should reply. my heart is breaking because i know there were feelings there, sadly i cannot take back the cheating, i would if i could. But he is also controlling and reminded me of my ex.So i feel he needs to find someone who is for him and I need to heal. and i am avoiding communicating with him. I want to try to date and move on but feel i still have lingering personal issues (with my past relationship, low self esteem, etc) and i should hold off dating until i am ready. But sometimes i think "im 24 i better find someone soon" Please don't judge me.I learned alot from this relationship but i feel i should just not get involved with him again, even though he is a good person. I feel he has changed and things might never be the same again. I also can't stand him being distant, knowing once he was so open and loving. I know i caused that but it hurts. How can i avoid jumping into another relationship and how can i heal from the past and the off and on situation from this recent relationship?[/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][/sIZE]

Edited December 3, 2015 by monica_24_00

[Gaeta]

You know the answer. Block him or better yet delete your FB account. You were ok before FB you'll be just fine after.

 

You seem to think because a man wants you you have to go back to him. You don't have too and you don't have to "find someone" you are just 24 for goodness sake. Who's rule's says you have to find a relationship!

 

He didn't change. You know that. Block him.