lizzygirl Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Has anyone felt this way? After abuse from a narc, you start questioning your own sanity, whether you are a narc yourself and you are just projecting it onto him or if he just has your mind so messed up that you are too self analytical. But then I guess if I was self analytical I wouldn't be a narc. And going no contact is so hard! He has turned into mr charming again, promising me the world. Sooo messed up! Link to post Share on other sites
Oneness Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 I was with a Borderline for 7 years, not a narc, but know a whole slew of women who are/were married to them (on another forum). They felt like you do...but no, if you are able to question yourself you are not a narc...they don't have any problems - you are the problem! Don't fall for the Mr. Charming routine...it is a hoover, once he has you back the cycle will start up again, and continue until you are nothing but an empty shell with the life and your soul sucked out of you...and then he may leave you to find some fresh ego kibbles... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 These people are so great at making you question yourself and the most obvious things. If they believe that the world is flat, they're insistence and persistence and insanity will start to wear you down to the point where might start to wonder if all scientists in the world are wrong. I was in my late 30's when I met the nut-case I was with and even with all that background, he could make me forget myself and forget what I knew. Then I learned to kind of crawl inside myself to escape. I think once I realized that he enjoyed what he did, that he actually got a high off of tormenting me, is when I finally woke up. It's very difficult for normal people to grasp this demented mind-set but that doesn't make it any less real. Do whatever it takes to get away from him and understand that every move he makes, every word he utters is abuse. Even abusers know they can't abuse 100% of the time but even when they're nice, you know it won't last. So, you walk on eggshells all the time, wondering when he's going to explode again. This dance he has you doing is a game that he'll never stop playing and you'll never be at peace as long as he's anywhere in your sphere. Hopefully, your eyes will start to open once you realize that he loves to hurt you and that the charm he turns on is only to get you back so that he can begin to abuse you even more. This cycle will never, ever stop until you come to terms with this and let it go. Understand that it may be difficult to break free but, once you do, you'll wonder what on earth you were thinking by staying with him. You're in a situation that is causing you to be traumatically bonded to him and it's up to you to break that bond. I did it and wild horses couldn't drag me back into a life like that ever again. Please do this for yourself. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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