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I am being manipulated by a toxic person


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Long story short. There was a guy I met who I knew for a short time, and he acted like he was madly in love with me from the get go. There was a time when he doubled back on a promise to come see me, so that made me angry. This led to a fight and he's been giving me the silent treatment ever since. Only its not exactly that. He often stares blatantly at me whenever we run into each other at school and he's followed me around when I was with a guy friend. If he catches me looking, he pointedly looks away and pretends I don't exist. When we were still friends, he'd play mind games with me- acting super interested and using all these cliche phrases, then abandoning me.

 

I'm finding it hard to ignore his behaviour. Every time I think, oh he's forgotten about me, good!, he proves me wrong. His behaviour becomes more intense. The staring becomes more intense, I feel like a specimen under a microscope. I remember right after we fought, he said things like "Some day you'll meet a nice guy but I'm not him" and "Please, go back to your studies and focus on your school and forget about me". He seemed so vulnerable, so he was basically able to wrap me around his little finger. I'm the alpha kind of person- I like taking control, I like it when the guy is vulnerable and needs protecting. That is very attractive to me, and he's doing a good job of it.

 

Anyways, it feels very oppressive and I feel like I'm suffocating. I'm really confused. He's acting like he's in love, but he's not talking to me. I feel like he's manipulating me, giving me the silent treatment verbally but acting like he can't resist at school. I need some help. How do you make this stop? I've already begun to avoid taking the bus with him, and that's helped a bit.

 

He's also really mean to people. He's frequently ridiculed my prof in the middle of class, insulted my friends with some racist insults and demeaned his fellow classmates. I have only seen him with one friend. So why do I still want him?

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Oh and I should mention, the fight wasn't about him not coming to see me. It made me mad, but he said several more very disrespectful things to me and eventually I lost my temper.

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  • 1 month later...
  • 1 month later...
zoezeroseven

This man does not sound mentally stable at all, which in turn will make you feel unstable. Your gut seems to be saying, your desire is fueling this not your mind, that he attracts some of your relationship pattern stuff. I hope this one is far away from you.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Sounds a bit like my ex. He is playing hot and cold with you, and I recommend you to read the great articles on the site baggage reclaim by Natalie, she has really, really great advices on how to deal with persons like this.

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