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Policy on individual and group bashing/berating.


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Old 6th September 2015, 8:30 AM   #16
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Fully understanding the nature of this forum and the fact that emotions run high at times, leaving large loopholes like your describing would be counterproductive to the policy. Giving allowances for emotionally charged language would just result in appeal for every infraction given.

The focus of this policy is bashing and not necessarily emotionally fueled remarks.

Using a much more benign example: She was a real jerk is acceptable because obviously anyone can be a jerk and the term doesn't single out one select group of people. Replace jerk with the term mentioned above and the tone changes and is a slur directed at women in particular. That would be flagged.

Nobody is expecting everyone to adhere to Disney channel type language, but we are trying to eliminate that language that can be damaging and hurtful to the other members reading your posts. ~T

Quote:
Originally Posted by TaraMaiden2 View Post
Oh, and you might like to address the inclusion of the word 'cunt' too...

That is frankly, so vulgar as to be 'beyond-words' inexcusable.

Thank you.
As I said originally, the small list of examples is by no means all inclusive, it is just there to give a general idea of what we are looking for under one category. We could type up a full running list, but I think the majority of members get the idea. This term definitely qualifies under this policy.

Last edited by William; 6th September 2015 at 8:34 AM..
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Old 6th September 2015, 10:59 AM   #17
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Original William here, and the example Taramaiden2 points up exactly what the site owner is talking about in the guidelines, that LoveShack.org is a world-wide site and members for whom English isn't a primary language often visit here and, sometimes, colloquialisms in English vary in English-speaking countries. If there's any doubt about a misunderstanding of a word or phrase, and that word or phrase can be used to bash individuals or groups of individuals, choose a word one has no doubt about conforming to the guidelines.

In general, the worst that can happen is a brief loss of free posting privileges. Most of the time, the mods will pass out nudges or FR's explaining the policy and identifying the words/phrases and life will go on. The worst is generally reserved for members who have a long history of bashing, are generally unwilling to change, and keep doing the same thing after being made aware it is against our policies. Do it a few times, get moderated a few times, or give us a hard time about it and bye bye permanently.

The vast majority of members will never brush up against this policy because the vast majority of members come here, discuss their interpersonal relationship within our guidelines, and then move on in life. This addresses the few which cause most of the issues around here. Watch the announcement for any fine-tuning and be sure to read any communications from moderation which arrive in one's PM box. Thanks!
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Old 7th September 2015, 7:41 PM   #18
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This certainly quashes the more therapeutic aspects of this forum for venting. May I ask if it's okay to use words as long as they have asterisks in them, like "b*tch," for example? And may I just say I am relieved not to see the words "dick" and "dickhead" or "asshat" on your list, but I am a bit dismayed to have to return to the Rat Pack era in order to replace the word "player" with "playboy."
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Old 7th September 2015, 7:55 PM   #19
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Creative attempts to get around the policy will fall under my 'using their intellect as a weapon' guideline and will be met with the same, or more severe, sanctions. The more severe will be reserved for members whose records show they have a reputation for being problem members. This is an infinitesimally small number of members versus the total active members but we get reports on their conduct routinely from those who do follow the rules so that's how this process will go for now.

We now have enough moderators to actively read threads which haven't been reported so will be doing so moving forward, either scanning for, or doing targeted searches for, the most commonly reported bashing language, including creative workarounds.

If the word or phrase meets, in the opinion of moderation, the boundary outlined by the site owner prior in this thread, and in the published guidelines, its use will subject the author to sanctions upon report or detection. Will some slide by? Sure! In my view, if one considers the risk of their posting privileges to be worth sliding by, OK go with that. We just moderate the site and can't make those decisions.
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Old 7th September 2015, 8:25 PM   #20
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Well, this is farking ice-holery if I ever heard it.
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Old 7th September 2015, 8:44 PM   #21
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In this thread, that's a good example of one strategy, if directed at an individual or group, in theory. Get creative out on the forum, make it real, and the result will be what it is.

Frankly, we have all the keys to all the locks and this is a private forum and, while we certainly prefer collaboration and cooperation, we're no stranger to adversarial interactions and can handle those too.

I moderate other forums where language is far more colorful and insults far more free-flowing and those owners are fine with it, so the forums are moderated to those standards. If our owner stops by and tells us to trash this idea and let the insults flow, all this will go away in a moment. It's his site. We're simply volunteer members following his rules and educated by his prior workers. If this policy makes LoveShack.org a bad fit for some members, we accept that.

So far, I've seen a few reports of bashing language but nothing substantial. For now, things are pretty quiet. I hope it stays that way. Overall, my read is that members impacted either changed their word/phrase usage to cooperate or left. As far as the site itself is concerned, either outcome is acceptable.
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Old 8th September 2015, 6:00 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by William View Post
Moved a couple posts that were off-topic for their thread and the short answer is sexual orientation is covered under gender. IOW, bashing gay men and straight men is bashing men and bashing lesbian women and straight women is bashing women.

Moderation decided to keep things simple so that's what's going to happen. We deemed the existing policy matrix to cover the vast majority of contentious and complained about issues on the forum regarding bashing. Time will tell if that will play out in practice. So far it's working pretty well.
So dyke, fag, faggot, queen, flammer, carpet munchers etc are all considered bashing the gender?
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Old 8th September 2015, 6:12 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rainbowlove View Post
So dyke, fag, faggot, queen, flammer, carpet munchers etc are all considered bashing the gender?
Oh good grief.....
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Old 8th September 2015, 6:14 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TaraMaiden2 View Post
Oh good grief.....
It's a question.

Why the remark?
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Old 8th September 2015, 6:17 PM   #25
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Because they're such appalling terms, and more often than not, used in such a derogatory manner, I would have thought the answer was obvious.
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Old 8th September 2015, 6:19 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TaraMaiden2 View Post
Because they're such appalling terms, and more often than not, used in such a derogatory manner, I would have thought the answer was obvious.
One would think, but I've been called some names on this forum and have see terms like that used.

It seems obvious to rational ppl, but not everyone here is rational and some see nothing wrong with calling someone a fag or faggot.
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Old 8th September 2015, 6:23 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rainbowlove View Post
So dyke, fag, faggot, queen, flammer, carpet munchers etc are all considered bashing the gender?
Already answered prior. Moderation suggests, when in doubt, use terms which respect the published guidelines. We're not going to publish a list nor do translations into other languages since the official language of LoveShack.org is English. We have had a few folks test the boundaries already and, since then, things have been pretty quiet.

Quote:
It seems obvious to rational ppl, but not everyone here is rational and see nothing wrong with calling someone a fag or faggot
We can't make determinations on rationality or sanity, but can make determinations on words. Those will go, as will the posters of them if they persist.

Since you brought it up, I did a comprehensive search of the term 'faggot' and returned 296 instances of use, going back to the beginning of LoveShack in 1997, and it appears four of them occurred in this thread because your posting was quoted. If looking at the first page of results, 25 posts, that takes the dates back to early 2014. I'd have to run a database calc on number of posts since then but I'd surmise it's a few hundred thousand. Pretty rare, generally, but not rare today due to your post. To be honest, I hadn't looked before so it was encouraging to see so few uses of the word since LoveShack has, whoa, 5,684,000+ posts. Edited to add that's moderation's view, which includes deleted posts.

Last edited by William; 8th September 2015 at 6:42 PM.. Reason: Researched one term
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Old 8th September 2015, 6:50 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rainbowlove View Post
One would think, but I've been called some names on this forum and have see terms like that used.
It goes without saying that this 'name-calling' went on before this directive was implemented....

As with any other form of violation, anything like that should have - and shall doubtless now be - reported....

Quote:
It seems obvious to rational ppl, but not everyone here is rational and some see nothing wrong with calling someone a fag or faggot.
And now? They will.

Thank you, William.
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Old 9th September 2015, 8:20 PM   #29
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Adding a new update to reflect that moderation discussed terminology and we've decided to replace 'bashing' with 'berating' which more closely aligns with the site owner's guidelines of interaction as published. Hence, moving forward, the policy will be referred to as 'individual and group berating' and words and phrases deemed to apply. Thanks!
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Old 27th September 2015, 12:34 PM   #30
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I am a member and moderator of a professional forum, and the foul language and derogatory comments about other people have destroyed that forum. Personally, I am glad William and William are taking the stand. Of all the forums I visit, this forum has helped the most. Because of my postings here, I am now to the place where if she walked in front of my van, I would at least slow down when I ran over her. But, I probably would not back up to see if she needed medical attention. And if I was on the Harley, I would absolutely not run her over. I might scratch the paint on the bike!
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