Patience21 Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 (edited) My story: I met this beautiful woman a year and half ago. We got very serious very quickly within couple weeks of meeting... No marriage talk or anything just understood each other's lives and physical attraction and chemistry was amazing. We both had been divorced twice we both have children. I'm 38 with 2 girls 13 and 16, 16 year old I adopted from first marriage. She is 34 has a 14 10 and a 2 year old which was (9 months old when we met) boys. All with different fathers that do not help her at all.. 1 month into our relationship we were pregnant.. We decided to abort the child since it was so soon 3-4 weeks... This did cause stress.. Month after she panicked and disappeared for a week... She contacted me back we went back and forth for a week or so and talked things out.. She is from very abusive relationships all three of them mostly mentally abusive one physically abusive and the last one which she has the little one with became physically abusive at the end, but she loved him. Her relationship with her parents weren't good growing up kicked out at 16. Dad left when she was 2, currently back in her life about the last 6 years but not close to till about last couple years.. She has to take care of him a lot but loves him. Her mom never grew up and always causes drama in her life. So to brief things up.. After we got back together the first time everything was awesome for a year on the dot.. Then she relapse into a freak out again saying she wasn't good enough for me and our life styles we to different and she went into a depression mode thinking she wasn't living her life the way she wanted to be said she wanted to be free!!... She does have a lot of male friends, and one of them started contacting her more often... I knew what was gonna happen, this friend was also a friend of her last ex. We eventually broke up she left ran away.. Didn't hear from her for about 2 months.. I had her cat and things at my house in that time frame.. I messaged her on the day of her oldest birthday because I still care about them very much love her still... Wondering how she was doing.. She responded.. Next couple weeks light texting she had been going through a lot of things drinking a lot and made some bad choices... She finally got another place after couples weeks of talking and came over got her things.. She began to message more and started calling every day... The last 4 months that's the way it has been she's very emotional now and has let me into her life telling me all kinds of things intimate things.. Confiding in her family and kido problems because I know her back ground... The last couple weeks I could feel she may have someone in her life.. I told her I didn't think I could handle the relationship if I knew she was with someone else, and she said she would be torn apart with out me in her life... I want to be there for her and her children because I love them all and we have a very special connection with each other and help eachother through a lot of things.. My question I know she's not ready for a relationship I know she's seeing someone right now... I feel like she is my best friend and i still love her.. Should I just continue being there for her and put aside my feelings she is seeing someone now? Continue to build our relationship.. Even if we don't get back together romantically? Could things like this turn back into a romantic relationship? Or the way she is will she just keep running away from the good things and real love? Also, she has been calling lately and crying which she rarely does... It's been about 5 times now the last month and a half couple things she says is she's confused about every thing, she feels depressed, she feels angry, and another time she just wants the hurt to go away.. From her relationship before me... Any help would be appreciated. Edited April 26, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Edited for format. Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Red Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 I say Run Forrest Run! She sounds like a mess. 3 kids with 3 Dads to me always makes me think women like her are just looking for someone to take care of them. And they think having their child will keep them around. And I can't see how a woman like that can be attractive at all. Of course this is just my opinion. From what you say, she sounds unstable. I really think you can do better & just leave her to her other male "friends". Link to post Share on other sites
imtooconfused Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 Patience21, you sound like the personality type: fixer. You like to solve peoples' problems and in return expect appreciation for helping them. It's normally a rewarding and positive experience. But sometimes you come across an individual that is not able to accept the help you are giving, or if they accept the help are not able to return the appreciation you need. This sounds like just that case. You will try as hard as you can to change her, but she won't be able to change. Accept her explanation that she is not good enough for you and that you should let her be free. If you continue to be purely emotional comfort to her, I fear that's all that you will ever be and nothing more. Link to post Share on other sites
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