LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > General > LoveShack.org Questions and Comments

Why Are People So Abusive? [update]


LoveShack.org Questions and Comments The place to post any questions or comments you may have regarding LoveShack.org or the LoveShack.org Community Forums. Please Contact Us privately with any inquiries related to your personal account.

Like Tree121Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 3rd September 2016, 6:52 AM   #106
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 66
Adoraxx - the fact that the post was moved to this thread - and the thread title - says what I don't need to.

If you read all the words - not just the bits that jump out and help you - you may just recognise this.

Best wishes,
RF
Rockflower is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd September 2016, 9:20 AM   #107
Established Member
 
Adoraxx's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 452
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockflower View Post
Adoraxx - the fact that the post was moved to this thread - and the thread title - says what I don't need to.

If you read all the words - not just the bits that jump out and help you - you may just recognise this.

Best wishes,
RF
It was actually moved because of this

"[ Moderator note: The following 8 posts were moved from another thread as they were off-topic in that thread but have relevance here. Thank you. ~6 ]"

Best wishes to you too
Adoraxx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd September 2016, 10:25 AM   #108
LoveShack.org Moderator
LoveShack.org Moderator
 
William's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Riding the rails
Posts: 3,945
To hopefully put this to rest, here is what is listed in the Community Guidelines.

Quote:
Civility and respect

We expect that all community participants interact in a manner conducive to free-flowing, collaborative participation from all visitors, fostering an environment free of harassment, character attacks, and other forms of individual and group berating. We realize that all members may not share the same definitions on issues surrounding personal morality, appropriate behavior, and other sensitive topics of discussion that often appear on the site; we encourage all to voice their own opinions while refraining from criticizing other participants for the perspective they hold. Each person that posts on the forum is to be treated with the utmost respect and civility regardless of how absurd or ridiculous the opinion expressed might seem to you from your perspective.
Personal attacks against other participants will not be tolerated under any circumstances. We define personal attacks as posted comments which are intended to provoke, demean, or ridicule another participant. It is inevitable that members will sometimes disagree in their responses to any given problem, and LoveShack.org encourages healthy debate comprised of constructive questions and criticisms, so long as they pertain to the post and thread at hand. Personal dislike of another member has no place in any post, on any thread.
We expect that all participants will respond to posts in their specific context, not to the person who has posted. While opinions may be formed of various members based on what they have posted in the past, any response to any particular submission should be grounded in what has been posted in that thread. Past disagreements should not be resurrected in new threads. It is important that criticism be directed at what is stated in a post ("I don't like your idea") rather than at the individual making the statement ("I don't like you").
Submissions containing threats to leave the community or other forms of "emotional extortion" intended to incite a reaction from fellow participants are viewed as inconsiderate and disrespectful to the community as a whole and will result in immediate loss of access to the site.
Difference of opinion is a regular occurrence here on Loveshack based on each posters unique experience. Sharing those experiences are encouraged and are the foundation of what most people come here for.

All viewpoints are welcome as long as they are offered respectfully and within our other Community Guidelines.

As Original William has already stated that this forum is not for talking about specific members or posts, but for discussing the policies and operation of Loveshack, we will consider this part of the conversation closed and steer things back to a more general discussion.

Issues with specific members or posts that need to be discussed with moderation should be done privately, preferably through the Alert function. ~T
Adoraxx likes this.
William is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th October 2017, 11:31 AM   #109
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 46
Dealing w/judgemental people on this site

Are some of you discouraged from posting on not only this site but other similar sites for fear of dealing with overly harsh, judgmental people...many of whom don't even bother to read your entire post?

I've been posting on these sites off and on for maybe five or six years. I come here because I don't have anyone else I can have candid conversations with and I need genuine advice. Instead, a lot of what I get are comments from strangers who tell me how stupid, naive or irresponsible I am for X,Y, or Z.

I'm not against constructive criticism when I come on here (again, seeking help), but I am against nasty, below-the-belt comments from people whom I suspect are just as flawed and imperfect as I.

To make matters worse, some of these people don't even bother to read my entire post before commenting and keep holding things over my head that I never stated because because they either misunderstood something I wrote or took things out of context....no matter how many times I try to clarify.

So, I'll repeat my original question:

Are some of you discouraged from posting on not only this site but other similar sites for fear of dealing with overly harsh, judgmental people...many of whom don't even bother to read your entire post?
Reltubsirch0412 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th October 2017, 11:45 AM   #110
LoveShack.org Moderator
LoveShack.org Moderator
 
William's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Riding the rails
Posts: 3,945
Since our policy is to discuss specific member's postings suspected of being outside of our guidelines privately, threads discussing them publicly are closed or deleted and their authors subject to sanction. Threads about the general tone of LoveShack go in our Questions and Comments forum.

Suffice to say that I sanction, moderate and ban members every week for content as mentioned in your posting, as do other moderators. With thousands of active members and being an open forum on the wild west of the internet, no doubt non-conforming postings will occur. Report them.

I'll merge this thread with a similar topic in our Questions and Comments forum since it's the place to discuss the workings of LoveShack.org. I suggest, if you haven't already, you read that long thread and observe how moderation responds to member input.

Thanks for sharing your perspective and we'll look forward to reading your reports!
William is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th October 2017, 5:16 PM   #111
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 179
Well, you gotta consider you are asking help from people who initially came here looking for help too.
Some of them ARE bitter, that is spot on. This is especially true if your situation relates to theirs in someway (ie. the OW/OM type of threads and they've been cheated on.)
You will find that some have no patience for you while others will have endless and stick to your thread until you update with a resolution.
Give your attention to those who have that patience and are trying to help and forgive those who suffer human conditions.
Frostedflake is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th October 2017, 5:55 PM   #112
Established Member
 
amaysngrace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Jersey Shore
Posts: 23,223
I'm not too concerned with people being rude to me because that's just how people are. Not everybody is in a great mood all the time and if someone is short or snippy then that says more about them than me.

I'm sorry you've had some bad experiences though. If you're being bullied or group berated you should definitely bring it to moderation's attention. That kind of thing doesn't fly too well around here.

Take care.
__________________
just dance
amaysngrace is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30th October 2017, 2:59 PM   #113
LoveShack.org Moderator
LoveShack.org Moderator
 
William's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Riding the rails
Posts: 3,945
Moderation respects that individuals have widely varying interpretations of what appropriate, inappropriate and abusive behavior are, and they are certainly free to interpret words and actions any way they choose. Our task is to implement the interpretations of the site owner, in this case Paul, based on what he's published and shared with us privately over the years. Another web forum owned by someone else is free to establish and interpret their rules any way they choose. Hence why I always suggest if a member thinks we're too restrictive here, please don't subject yourself to that. The internet is large and there's room for every perspective and interpretation.

Myself, I'd love for Paul to stop by one day and either tell us we're doing great or chastise us for poor performance and give us guidelines to change or simply fire us. I guess that's just not in the cards. He can change or delete us and our work with a few button pushes. That he chooses not to is his prerogative.

Also, with five moderators regularly working, active discussion and sometimes disagreement over abusive posting occurs as moderators themselves have different interpretations. All are equal. No one here has any more power than the others. The person with the power is the site owner. I noticed, in the past, when he'd show up and issue an edict or comment on a topic like this, few to none publicly question him. I wonder why that is?
William is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Do people know when they are emotionally abusive? BlueIvy Abuse 3 3rd August 2014 10:10 AM
Why do people feel obligated to look after abusive parents? Sugarkane Family 11 13th December 2012 1:48 AM
People who flaunt an abusive mindset here.. Taramere LoveShack.org Questions and Comments 7 22nd October 2012 12:46 PM
Update - Leaving an Abusive Relationship. Kaito Breaks and Breaking Up 6 13th August 2011 3:53 PM
Update about trying to leave abusive H MoonGirl Abuse 59 6th March 2007 8:22 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 1:41 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.