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Why Are People So Abusive? [update]


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Old 16th November 2014, 11:51 AM   #61
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ignore list?

If I put someone on ignore I understand that means I can't see them but does it also block my activity from their view?
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Old 16th November 2014, 11:55 AM   #62
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No, they would have to put you on their ignore list.

If you put them on your ignore list the one vale added benefit is that they cannot PM you, they think they can but the PM never arrives in your inbox.

With the ignore list you always have the option to view their posts as well at any given time, that just requires will power to not look.
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Old 16th November 2014, 11:57 AM   #63
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If I feel attacked or stalked can LS do anything if I bring the matter to your attention? I'd hate to leave because of one poster but . . .
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Old 16th November 2014, 12:03 PM   #64
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alert on the posts or PM's and let us look into the matter
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Old 17th November 2014, 8:09 AM   #65
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Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
If I feel attacked or stalked can LS do anything if I bring the matter to your attention? I'd hate to leave because of one poster but . . .
When you put people on ignore, you don't receive their PMs. Hope that helps.
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Old 18th November 2014, 11:22 PM   #66
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I think she's looking for a way for that person not to even see her posting here on this MB....

Yes, the ignore blocks the people you list on it from sending you PMs and you cant see their posts here - but, it would be nice if you could block them from seeing you post on here.

I mean, if you run across an online stalker, you have no privacy in posting I guess.

But, then again even if LS gave us the ability to block certain people from seeing our postings here, the stalker could probably change their handle/username and still try to look at what you post.
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Old 18th November 2014, 11:33 PM   #67
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Public humiliation can be effective, calling them out on it in front of everyone. The last time I saw that happen the guy ran from loveshack like it was on fire and hasn't been back since.
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Old 19th November 2014, 12:07 AM   #68
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Public humiliation can be effective, calling them out on it in front of everyone. The last time I saw that happen the guy ran from loveshack like it was on fire and hasn't been back since.
I don't know about that. I got an infraction the other day for calling out someone.
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Old 19th November 2014, 12:14 AM   #69
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I don't know about that. I got an infraction the other day for calling out someone.
She did too, but it ended up ending the harassment. =/
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Old 19th November 2014, 12:35 AM   #70
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The ignore button is a blessing here. I had to put a member on permanent ignore to stop him from sending me PM's where he sexually harassed me nonstop. Then another member told me he did it to antagonize me; that another member encouraged him to do it. There's some sick people in the world. Sick people.
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Old 21st March 2015, 4:53 PM   #71
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The ignore button is a blessing here. I had to put a member on permanent ignore to stop him from sending me PM's where he sexually harassed me nonstop. Then another member told me he did it to antagonize me; that another member encouraged him to do it. There's some sick people in the world. Sick people.
Due to the beginning of another, similar thread elsewhere on the site, I'll take this opportunity, once again, to remind members to, when reading our forums and finding postings, or members, whom they feel have violated our guidelines of interaction to report those postings to us and use the very excellent suggestion of the quoted member in ignoring such members, including use of our ignore list. It works great!

Also, consistent with our guidelines, members are not to be discussed individually or threads pointed out individually. This is a site to discuss real life interpersonal relationships and such other discussions, such as those about other, anonymous, members, are not consistent with our site goals. Private discussions are fine but keep that content off the forums.

As an update to my first posting in this thread, there are now five moderators who share moderation duties so response to reports is quicker and generally more complete and thorough. However, we're always striving to improve. That's where the reports help.

Thanks!

Last edited by William; 21st March 2015 at 4:57 PM.. Reason: Update from first post
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Old 21st March 2015, 5:44 PM   #72
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Thumbs down

When asked what the biggest danger with the world today, Steven Hawking said "Human Aggression."

Its sad but many people lack empathy and compassion, and also just basic capacity of being civil.
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Balance the past, present and future.
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Old 25th April 2015, 12:36 PM   #73
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Also, consistent with our guidelines, members are not to be discussed individually
Even if the post is complimentary? I posted a comment yesterday about another poster in which I was complimentary of said poster, and I notice it got removed.

I'm just trying to clarify. We cannot mention another poster in any post, for any reason whatsoever?

I guess I'm trying to find out where the line is drawn. Can we say, "Where's so and so?" Does that cross the "members are not to be discussed individually" line? Can we say, "I have a great deal of respect for so and so"? Because that is what I said about another person, and it got deleted.

A little bit of explanation to a poster as to why one of their posts is removed would be helpful, especially when they have no idea why it got modded in the first place.

Just my two cents, it's one thing to observe the spirit of the law as opposed to the letter of the law.
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Old 25th April 2015, 12:51 PM   #74
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Even if the post is complimentary? I posted a comment yesterday about another poster in which I was complimentary of said poster, and I notice it got removed.

I'm just trying to clarify. We cannot mention another poster in any post, for any reason whatsoever?
Correct. Responses are to be topical, not individual. However, you may have a personal conversation with another member, complementing them as you see fit, via our private message system, e-mail, telephone, FaceBook, internet chat, etc, etc.

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I guess I'm trying to find out where the line is drawn. Can we say, "Where's so and so?" Does that cross the "members are not to be discussed individually" line? Can we say, "I have a great deal of respect for so and so"? Because that is what I said about another person, and it got deleted.
You can indeed inquire where so and so is or state your respect for so and so privately. Such discussions have no place on our forum. Why? Site owner set his policies and we enforce them.

A couple of examples:

We expect that all participants will respond to posts in their specific context, not to the person who has posted. While opinions may be formed of various members based on what they have posted in the past, any response to any particular submission should be grounded in what has been posted in that thread.

We remind all participants of the value of collaborative exchange. Discussions occurring on the public forum are to be inclusive of all participants and should not be of a private nature between a small, select group of people. Questions, comments or other exchanges directed to any particular individual outside of the context of on-topic threads should be made privately and do not belong on the public community forums.

LoveShack.org features a private messaging function which is available to all registered members. Private two-way conversations are possible using private messaging and we expect that all personal exchanges be conducted over private messaging.


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A little bit of explanation to a poster as to why one of their posts is removed would be helpful, especially when they have no idea why it got modded in the first place.
Moderation reviews hundreds of posts each day and deletes countless posts without commentary. This site receives thousands of posts each day and there are five people who volunteer to keep things clean and simple. I won't speak for other moderators but, when a member presses for a reason and debate regarding a few electrons being deleted, I reach for the ban button. Why? Problem member in the making. Our guidelines, and postings from the site owner, which are easy to find right here in the sticky threads in this Q&C forum, outline the 'why' postings are deleted, in general.

Also, due to the nature of our sanction system, individual explanations of guideline violations can have deleterious effects on a member's presence here. As an example, if a member makes five off-topic postings as part of a threadjack in a particular thread, and we explain the reason for each post deletion individually, the nature of our system assigns sanction points for each iteration, and five such sanctions terminates the member's posting privileges for ten days. For more serious occurrences, where pissing matches start, individual explanations can result in permanent expulsion. However, by a combination of deletion without explanation and sending one reminder/sanction, the member can retain their membership and posting privileges and still become aware of our guidelines or reminded of them.

If we have enough moderators to explain each and every deletion or edit on the forum, I think that would be a laudable goal. We'd probably have far more restricted and banned members too. Maybe that would also be a positive result.

To preempt any questions about our sanction system, no we don't discuss specifics. If you're sanctioned, you'll find out what you need to know when you need to know it. Thousands of members interact here without ever knowing about it or experiencing it. We like that.

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Just my two cents, it's one thing to observe the spirit of the law as opposed to the letter of the law.
As the site owner states, you're in his home and will abide by his rules. With tens of thousands of active members, it's a miniscule few who don't abide by his rules and cause trouble for the rest. That's why we're here.

Lastly, being brought back to this thread causes another update of historical policy, where I delineated between disrespectful or inflammatory comments regarding other members and groups outside of LoveShack. I was advised that may be too unrestricted and we're now discussing policy modifications regarding such statements or discussions, some of which have been defined by racial threads, gender bashing threads and similar group berating as outlined below:

We expect that all community participants interact in a manner conducive to free-flowing, collaborative participation from all visitors, fostering an environment free of harassment, character attacks, and other forms of individual and group berating.

Once moderation has delineated the scope of the policy, we'll publish it in announcement form site-wide. Of course, as with the guidelines I quoted above, such published policies may be read, may be unread, may be read and followed, may be read and ignored and any other choice our members make.

We take what the site owner gives us, what's in front of us, and move forward.

Last edited by William; 25th April 2015 at 1:20 PM.. Reason: Add info about sanction system
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Old 25th April 2015, 4:36 PM   #75
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So in a nutshell, never refer to another poster by name in any circumstance, even if it's complimentary. And if I happen to observe it happening from another poster, I should report it for moderation immediately.

No problem. I can do that.
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