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What is "private information" on LS?


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Old 15th June 2010, 11:52 AM   #1
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What is "private information" on LS?

Out of curiousity, I reviewed the TOS and noted that it clearly spells out:

"You may not post or transmit any message which is libelous, defamatory or which discloses private or personal matters concerning any specific person. ".

This makes sense, but I have one question. If a poster discloses information on a post/thread about themselves or their situation, is that information not to be discussed in another thread or post without that person's consent?

Is there still a reasonable expectation that this information is "private" if it was disclosed by the "owner" on the LS public forums?

Or is the expectation that if we wish to refer to that information previously mentioned, we should get the "owner's" permission first?

I'm not trying to be a pain here...I'm wanting to make sure that I clearly understand where the boundary is. Thanks!
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Old 18th June 2010, 9:52 AM   #2
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I was really hoping for some guidance from Tony on this. This was an honest question.

Many times we try to discuss a subject and the concern is raised that when we mention another poster's situation...that they posted about on LS...and the question is raised if we're violating their privacy by reposting that same information in the context of the new thread.

What's the breakout explanation of what's ok and what's not here?

If the OP put it on LS...what's the expectation of privacy in that circumstance?

Given that I've posted my story here...what should my expectations be about anyone 'repeating it' here on LS?
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Old 18th June 2010, 10:16 AM   #3
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I have seen posts where members (most brand new, some a little more established) have posted great swathes about their situations and used the names of MM, OW, BS, MiL, FiL, kids..... you name it, they have too.
Not only that, but occasionally they've posted their own email addresses and worse still, the email address of (in one case) a girlfriend they wanted fellow posters to contact, to convince her to give their R another try!

personal information is any information which takes other people one step closer to identifying the people involved in any issues.

As far as I know - a huge No-no in any situation.

I've been a regular poster here since April. I've posted a lot of stuff.
Nobody still knows my partner's name, through on-forum posting, and very few people know my real name.
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Old 18th June 2010, 12:10 PM   #4
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See, now I'm ok with the idea of not reposting email addresses/real names/locations/etc... I've only exchanged emails with 2 people on this site since I've been here, and I doubt that THEY would remember my first name. I realize that a forum is "public"...so I never post that kind of information.

But what about reposting information about that poster (such as information about their affair, their marriage, their "lifestyle") as it relates to another thread? Especially if it's information that they already posted on LS themselves?

For example, if someone new came to LS and posted information about their spouse becoming involved with an OW/OM that they met online via gaming, I could see where someone might want to post information about MY story/background.

It's information that I've posted and repeated many times...once I posted it here on LS, I don't have any reasonable expectation of it remaining 'private' on these forums.

Should it be considered 'private'? Or is "public" after I posted it myself on an internet forum?
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Old 18th June 2010, 2:32 PM   #5
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The answer to your question is very basic. You may reveal any details about yourself personally which you don't mind being repeated from now until the end of the world. You may not reveal personal facts about other people.

There is a member here who once revealed that she was a working prostitute. There are many members who have no discretion or class and who repeat this information constantly, even using it against her. THERE ARE ALWAYS CONSEQUENCES about revealing things. People will bring them up in other threads, posts, etc. That's why it's so important that you STAY ANONYMOUS. If nobody knows who you are in real life, it should not impact you at all for those personal details to be brought up over and over.

Never, ever reveal any kind of personal information about other people which they have not authorized you to bring up. It is only good class and manners not to bring up information that someone else posted in confidence in a different thread. Do not bring up stuff from other threads or posts that could be hurtful to a member. We aren't here to hurt people. While many members do it, it simply shows their lack of tact, discretion, good judgment, manners, etc.

As a rule of thumb: Reveal what you want to about yourself and realize there can be consequences. Don't talk about the personal lives and details of other members without their written permission.

NEVER, EVER USE REAL NAMES, ADDRESSES, PHONE NUMBERS, EMAIL ADDRESSES, SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBERS or anything else about yourself or anyone else. Surest way to get permanently banned from this site.

Use good judgment on your part and proceed. The question posed here requires an answer that everyone who has lived for any period of time should know already. Common sense is a requirement for participating in a forum like LoveShack.
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Old 18th June 2010, 2:54 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tony View Post
The answer to your question is very basic. You may reveal any details about yourself personally which you don't mind being repeated from now until the end of the world. You may not reveal personal facts about other people.

There is a member here who once revealed that she was a working prostitute. There are many members who have no discretion or class and who repeat this information constantly, even using it against her. THERE ARE ALWAYS CONSEQUENCES about revealing things. People will bring them up in other threads, posts, etc. That's why it's so important that you STAY ANONYMOUS. If nobody knows who you are in real life, it should not impact you at all for those personal details to be brought up over and over.

Never, ever reveal any kind of personal information about other people which they have not authorized you to bring up. It is only good class and manners not to bring up information that someone else posted in confidence in a different thread. Do not bring up stuff from other threads or posts that could be hurtful to a member. We aren't here to hurt people. While many members do it, it simply shows their lack of tact, discretion, good judgment, manners, etc.

As a rule of thumb: Reveal what you want to about yourself and realize there can be consequences. Don't talk about the personal lives and details of other members without their written permission.

NEVER, EVER USE REAL NAMES, ADDRESSES, PHONE NUMBERS, EMAIL ADDRESSES, SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBERS or anything else about yourself or anyone else. Surest way to get permanently banned from this site.

Use good judgment on your part and proceed. The question posed here requires an answer that everyone who has lived for any period of time should know already. Common sense is a requirement for participating in a forum like LoveShack.

Thanks for the response, Tony. While I feel I'm well-possessed of a decent amount of common sense, I still felt a bit of clarification was needed, at least for me...or I wouldn't have asked the question.

The part I bolded above is what I see as the hardest to clearly avoid infracting... because everyone posts information on this site either for support or to provide a point of reference. Sometimes it's hard to refer to another's situation without possibly crossing that line.

Again, thanks for the clarification.
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Old 21st July 2010, 1:39 PM   #7
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Is this rule cherry-picked by the MOD? Personal information was used against me in a thread and I reported it, but it continues to be ignored.
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Old 21st July 2010, 2:46 PM   #8
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It would seem that if you have volunteered info in posts on here .. Others will use it in discussions with you ..
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Old 21st July 2010, 3:16 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoIDidn't View Post
Is this rule cherry-picked by the MOD? Personal information was used against me in a thread and I reported it, but it continues to be ignored.
I have not received any such report from you, or if I did I did not understand it. The next time you make a report be very specific and I will act appropriately upon it...even to the extent of banning the perpetrator if that's called for.

Last edited by Tony; 22nd July 2010 at 4:10 PM..
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Old 21st July 2010, 3:22 PM   #10
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If two members start a thread about their relationship or post in a thread about their relationship, YOU CANNOT MAKE REFERENCE TO THEM OR THEIR RELATIONSHIP IN ANOTHER THREAD!
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Old 21st July 2010, 3:24 PM   #11
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I'm a little confused, too.

Certainly, information which is personally-identifiable should be prohibited. No question.

But I'm unclear on what constitutes "personal information", beyond which may be personally identifiable. What is the definition of "personal" in this context? And how can information be considered "private" if it's been revealed in a previous post? How can there possibly be a reasonable expectation of privacy as to information that has been readily volunteered?
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Old 22nd July 2010, 2:23 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by txsilkysmoothe View Post
If two members start a thread about their relationship or post in a thread about their relationship, YOU CANNOT MAKE REFERENCE TO THEM OR THEIR RELATIONSHIP IN ANOTHER THREAD!
See...it's not spelled out like that, or at least nowhere near that clearly, anywhere in the TOS.

That's the kind of thing I was specifically asking about.

My thoughts are that if what you posted is correct...the TOS should probably be spelled out more clearly so people like Gorilla and I (maybe it's an animal thing?) have no confusion.

You see...the fact that THEY already posted in a thread here on LS would (to me) indicate that this IS NOT personal information...they've made it publicinformation by posting it on a public forum.

As Tony said...don't post what you don't want known.

But...if they posted it, doesn't that forfeit any expectation of "privacy" where that information is concerned?

Or does it need to be spelled out more clearly in the TOS to remove any doubt?

Last edited by Owl; 22nd July 2010 at 2:28 PM..
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Old 22nd July 2010, 2:44 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by txsilkysmoothe View Post
If two members start a thread about their relationship or post in a thread about their relationship, YOU CANNOT MAKE REFERENCE TO THEM OR THEIR RELATIONSHIP IN ANOTHER THREAD!
This, is honestly, what I find ridiculous.

Tony, please clarify: Are you suggesting that each thread remain its own vaccuum?? What is said in one thread, cannot be brought up in another thread?? Period?

How are we supposed to use what we've learned about a member, their life/relationship experience, to help them, if we can't refer to history?

Just off the top of my head, TBF posted a thread about being pregnant and having a baby. In another thread, are posters prohibited from referring to her as a mother? A new parent?
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Old 22nd July 2010, 4:16 PM   #14
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I like to think most members have brains. Bringing up information from another thread that is "held up against a member" is tasteless and will be deleted. Bringing up information contained in another thread that could be helpful to others is OK if it wouldn't be embarrassing to the person the information is about.

People are repeatedly bringing up the side occupation of a member, an admitted prostitute, and THAT IS WRONG! For whatever purpose she originally disclosed this information, people with class would not bring it up again and again unless she did. As in real life, people who are mean and devoid of class and manners love to bring up crap about other people.

Unfortunately, the Internet is home to millions of people and not all of them are courteous, discrete and know good judgment. It's just a fact we have to accept.
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Old 22nd July 2010, 4:22 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by Star Gazer View Post
Are you suggesting that each thread remain its own vaccuum?? What is said in one thread, cannot be brought up in another thread?? Period?

How are we supposed to use what we've learned about a member, their life/relationship experience, to help them, if we can't refer to history?
Members are expected to put information they want considered for their advice WITHIN THE THREAD THEY ARE SEEKING ADVICE ON. We get new members everyday and each month we have hundreds of new people here. I think it is just practical and smart to include all information to be considered within the original post. In many instances, people don't want other information taken into consideration. That's their prerogative.

Yes, each thread should stand on its own unless the OP has put a link to a previous thread that had additional relevant information. That's my take on this. I am not writing a bible here. This is a relationship forum, not an arm of the legislative branch of government. Everybody should do their best to use common sense and then let things go from there.
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