Jump to content

How Can I Tell If A Girl Is Still Interested?


Recommended Posts

I have been special friends with a girl for about 2 months or so. We enjoy each others company, always text message back and forth and would have dinner, lunch and had fun and we decided to see where the relation would go to. But just recently, she has been acting differently. She says that it isnt me. I'm not sure what has changed, but i can tell that something is different. She doesnt answer all the text messages, i usually dont get any answer on weekends and she doesnt seem quite the same. It seems like she will not answer text messages about getting together. And most times she will answer like every third text. She never remembers plans when we made some. She says that we are still special friends and she still enjoys my company as much as i enjoy hers, but then some days it seems like thats not the case. Im hoping that someone could shed some light on the situation and give me an idea of what is going on and maybe advice as to how to proceed.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I have been special friends with a girl for about 2 months or so.

why are you friends with her? you should be sleeping with her instead. you don't get girls by being freindly with them.

 

She doesnt answer all the text messages, i usually dont get any answer on weekends

thats cause she's out having fun with other dudes and probably having sex with them too.

 

Im hoping that someone could shed some light on the situation and give me an idea of what is going on and maybe advice as to how to proceed.

you are in the "friends zone" already...you should move on and find another girl and next time don't become freinds first.

Link to post
Share on other sites

When a women is interested she does not back off. period.

She is backing off because she has decided that she just wants to be friends with you. She doesn't want to come out and tell you in black and white but she is hoping you will get the message and not make her have the talk ( just friends ). I would back off and see how she reacts to your pulling away.

Always mimic their behavior in dealing with an unknown situation.

Link to post
Share on other sites

A general rule of thumb: If you're asking the question, you subconsciously already know the answer; you're just hoping you're wrong. If you're having to ask if she's still interestd, chances are she isn't. My guess is that she's met someone and has been dating him.

 

There are tons of fish in the sea. If she's not interested you can't take that as a personal rejection. It's like when you go shopping. You may try on five pairs of jeans and all of them fit, yet you only buy one pair. That doesn't mean that the other four pair are no good; you simply liked the pair you bought better. Someone else will come along, try on the pairs you left behind and love them.

 

I know that's a horrible analogy but I hope you get the meaning behind it. What I'm trying to say is that if she's not into you, let her go and move on to someone who is. I know it hurts. Rejection is hell but it's a fact of life. We've all been there.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

We have fooled around and have had a light sexual encounter with the want to further it, but then she doesnt go through with it. Just recently, she kissed me a couple of times, but then it was back to the same the following day. It seems that everytime she kisses me and shows this interest it's on a certain day. The signals are so confusing, seems interested, seems less interested....it's up and down. Even if we were friends, i would think we would still hangout, but i havent been able to get her to hangout with me. She either says yes and then never shows or isnt home when i arrive. She nevers calls like she says she will either. What makes it hard is she shows interest every now and again. She is going through a lot of stuff right now too...her ex-husband is giving her a hassle, she doesnt get along with some co-workers which creates a lot of turmoil and her mom has cancer and refuses treatments. So, i'm not sure if all of those combined really stress her to the point of not being able to handle being a special friend right now.

Link to post
Share on other sites
She either says yes and then never shows or isnt home when i arrive. She nevers calls like she says she will either

 

Because of this, back off and leave her alone. Her actions are showing you something - Not her words...She doesn't have the balls to tell you it's over, but her actions are saying so.

 

Time and space will tell what she feels for you. And, just so you know, real friends DO not treat eachother like how she's treated you. IF she really respected you and thought of you as special, she wouldn't be ignoring you, disappearing and not showing up when she said she would. Even with all the stress in her life, she could just tell you the truth. She can't handle the friendship now, so don't pursue it.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

So, basically just the polite pleasantries....the goodmorning, how are you? Have a goodnight, have a good weekend etc. But dont ask about going out and doing stuff correct? Sould i stop text messages all together or just the pleasantries as well, good morning, goodnight, how's your day etc. Or should i answer only when she text? Cause she has on occasion asked why i didnt send any text messages and has even asked for me to stop by her place. She is a very interested sorted person, who in the beginning when we spoke of it...we decided that we would see where things would go and decided that she wasnt looking for a relationship, which i was willing to accept. I have been curious what caused things to flow in the direction they did.

Link to post
Share on other sites
superconductor
I have been curious what caused things to flow in the direction they did.

Who knows? She probably doesn't even know herself.

 

Fact is that you've been slammed into the friendzone. There is no escape. There is nothing you can do, say, or not do or not say, that will make any difference whatsoever.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Were really friends with benefits, or thats what we decided on and maybe i'm not sure how that works cause i'm new to it. Cause she does on occasion, get frisky with me...kissing and such. But what i'm gathering is i'm dammed if i do and damned if i dont? Or is there the possibility that she may come around again?

Link to post
Share on other sites
superconductor
i'm dammed if i do and damned if i dont? Or is there the possibility that she may come around again?

Hey, anything's possible. It's just extremely unlikely.

 

I would strongly suggest that you pursue other women, too. Being available at this girl's beck and call is no way to live, especially when she blows hot and cold like that without any sort of reason.

 

*edited to add*

 

By the way, when she says "it isn't you," that's wimmenspeak for "I'm not interested in a relationship with you but I don't have the courage to tell you to your face, so I'll try to place the blame on myself so you don't get irritated at me."

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Ah good to know. I had asked her if i had irritated her and she said it wasnt me, but i assume that would mean the same. Guess i'll have to step back and see what happens.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't be so available.. don't speak of 'feelings' when you are available. She knows you're into her.... and keeping you on the side. BECAUSE YOU LET HER! Been there done that... walk! If she's got feelings... deeper feelings for you... let her be the one to come to you and tell you. Advice : Make her wonder where you are and what you're doing...

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Confused1975

We are suppose to be special friends..friends with benefits, but i havent seen much of the friend part, although i have seen the benefits part once already and was asked if i wanted to do it again. To which i said yes of course, but she is having so many issues right...mom with cancer and ex giving her trouble and such and thats seems to be whats preoccupying her at the moment, so i stay near by for when she perks up. It's random each day really. Moods all over the place. I'm assuming that her moms condition and what not is what has drawn her attention away and she may not be able cope with other things right now...does that seem like the case?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 4 weeks later...
  • Author

She has a family friend thats been giving her a hassle so she has been pissed off. She said today that i didnt defend her in one instance and says that i took the other persons side, which makes me think she is still mad at me for that, even though i never took the other persons side. So i'm thinking i''m on her **** list and that coupled with the fact that the family friend gives her a hassle cause we were talking and text messaging often. He tries to protect her sinceher divorce and he didnt approve me to talk to her, so i guess i'm the reason he yells at her just about everyday.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...