bobee Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 Ok I've really wanted to go out with this girl when I was in high school but I never asked her. While in high school, I kinda flirted with her subtly and tried to carry on convo with her, but she acted like she was hard to get and, I believe, giving me the cold shoulder. So I forgot about her for a few years. Then out of the blue, she finds me on myspace!! So we start talkin and whatever, and now after 3 years she seems interested in me (No really, the girl gave me her number and everything!!! lol) I mean we have talked more in two weeks, than we did when i was in high school. She says that she lives like an hour from me but comes to my city all the time. Long story short, she txt msg me and tells me that she is in the city. I'm txt her back sayin that we should meet for just a quick lunch or somethin, she says okay. so about 30 minutes before we're about to meet for lunch, she calls me up and tells me that she has to go pickup her cousin and she can't meet me. So i say ok and asked her if she was going to be in town on the weekend. She says yeah and i said i'll catchup with you then.....so what do you think could possibly be wrong with her? is she afraid or somethin? or is it me? am i takin it to fast or overanalyzin or what??? she is really sending me some mixed messages and i can't decipher them, lol! I would really apprecriate it if someone could help me out....if you can't get where i'm comin from then i understand (i'll explain more if you want! lol)......thankx P.S. Im thinkin she might be playin games with me too b/c of race: im black, she's white so i dunno....im all messed up! Link to post Share on other sites
gfto Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 normally, I'd say she's just wasting your time, but this might be an exception, because it sounds like you made this lunch date on the fly, and she may well have had to unexpectedly pick up her cousin (but it sounds a little fishy). I would call her (NOT text message) and ask her to meet up at a specific time and place. Then, disappear until the date. No calls, instant messages, texts, etc. If she cancels on you again, then you can be sure she isn't interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bobee Posted June 29, 2006 Author Share Posted June 29, 2006 That's the same i was thinkin.....it sounds fishy! We txt'd each other and i asked her if she want to get somethin at say, 1:40; she replies "how bout 2"? and then about 20 minutes b4 i meet up with her she CALLS me and tells me she can't meet....so i don't know if she was sincere or not....But what i don't get is why is she gonna txt me in the first place and tell me that she is in town, only to tell me that she can't meet up!.....i dunno, girls are strange beings!! or it may be just her Link to post Share on other sites
stillhere Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 I'm thinking that she really did have to pick up her cousin. If she didn't want to see you, she wouldn't have told you she was in town. Sometimes i read way too far into things, but being a creature of avoidance myself, i say she is into you, something just came up. If i didn't care to see you, i would have lied about being in town, and i would have never contacted you in the first place. Give her a chance, and don't over analyze, you'll drive yourself crazy. Link to post Share on other sites
lovestruck234 Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 I reckon there's something else behind it all... Well, this is just my 2 cents. Play her game. If she's doing the "come here, come here, go away, go away" thing, then I think she's playing a bit. The best way to get on the same path as her is play it right back to her. I agree you should organise another time with her, but be reeeeally casual about it. Like gfto said, call her to organise something, then don't call her again and then just rock up on the day and act cool about it all... If she says she'll be in town next weekend and that she'll catch up then, I believe that's just her way of having you by the collar. SHE IS LEADING YOU ON, whether she wants something out of it or not, who knows. But this girls sounds very sneaky. She will most probably catch up with you, you don't need to worry about that, but still...hmmm... Act as though you don't want her. Act as though YOUR the one who's hard to get now. Let HER chase you! Find out what she's hiding! You might be surprised! All the best! Link to post Share on other sites
stillhere Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 And about the black/white issue, i'm not sure where you're going with this. I mean, do you think she wants you just because of the "package" theory? I dated a black man for 4 years. And he was damn good looking, and he did have a nice package. But i later found out, that i was apparently sleeping with many other women, way way way too many other women. Because he was black, he was extremely prize meat (around my little town at least). I never knew i had such a "stud" on my hands. Believe me, i'm not judging you. But i can understand what you mean if that is where you were headed. I have no bad feelings of any kind towards any race, but i do hate him as a person because he f***ed me over to the extreme. Link to post Share on other sites
stillhere Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 SHE IS LEADING YOU ON, whether she wants something out of it or not, who knows. Can't people change? She is now out of high school, maybe she did a lot of growing up. I say, give her the benefit of the doubt. If she didn't want to have anything to do with you, she would have never contacted you. Link to post Share on other sites
lovestruck234 Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Can't people change? She is now out of high school, maybe she did a lot of growing up. I say, give her the benefit of the doubt. If she didn't want to have anything to do with you, she would have never contacted you. Yeah, definitely, I agree with with you. I was never implying that she was any more immature, I never referred to that, just based on the situation, that's what it sounds like...to me. My opinion. Sure she's probably grown up, but that doesn't mean she's changed. People grow up and mature, but you can't change a person, no matter what the situation. It's the way they are, and it's the way they'll always be... Link to post Share on other sites
Author bobee Posted June 30, 2006 Author Share Posted June 30, 2006 Yes i definitely agree with you lovestuck....it feels as if she IS leading me on. I was reading her myspace blog that she has, and she is talking about how she is single and always attracts guys with issues....(in my opinion, i think she has issues) she doesn't like for guys to smother her, if your looking for a fling, don't talk to her And she has begun to shut off her emotions b/c they make things complicated....but the thing is she sounds more like me too b/c i basically don't like girls to smother me and i can shut off my emotions too........i really think that we could really have somethin if She would stop playing........trust me i mean i can get past her, but i would really, really like to get to know her better Stillhere i agree with you too....i tend to overanalyze things alot, so i am going to try and hold out!!.....You know I really didn't even think about if she was wondering about the "package" theory. I throwed in the black/white thing b/c i remember when i was in high school, that she didn't go out with "black" guys, which sorta pissed me off and made me get over her then...and now all of sudden she contacts me, a "black" guy a couple years later. It feels as if she would like to get to know me better, but, i think, thats she's thinkin it would be strange to see herself with a black guy. stange??? do you think she just wants me to be her fu$% buddy??? Link to post Share on other sites
lovestruck234 Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Yes i definitely agree with you lovestuck....it feels as if she IS leading me on. I was reading her myspace blog that she has, and she is talking about how she is single and always attracts guys with issues....(in my opinion, i think she has issues) she doesn't like for guys to smother her, if your looking for a fling, don't talk to her And she has begun to shut off her emotions b/c they make things complicated....but the thing is she sounds more like me too b/c i basically don't like girls to smother me and i can shut off my emotions too........i really think that we could really have somethin if She would stop playing........trust me i mean i can get past her, but i would really, really like to get to know her better Stillhere i agree with you too....i tend to overanalyze things alot, so i am going to try and hold out!!.....You know I really didn't even think about if she was wondering about the "package" theory. I throwed in the black/white thing b/c i remember when i was in high school, that she didn't go out with "black" guys, which sorta pissed me off and made me get over her then...and now all of sudden she contacts me, a "black" guy a couple years later. It feels as if she would like to get to know me better, but, i think, thats she's thinkin it would be strange to see herself with a black guy. stange??? do you think she just wants me to be her fu$% buddy??? O-Kaaaay....this girl is quite an odd piece of work...if she said the stuff in her blog and meant it....RED FLAG!! From looking at this, this girl has obviously had her heart broken one too many times, and figures if she just shuts her emotions out (as she said) and basically, is a bit of an ice queen, that she won't have to worry about herself getting hurt. I'd say she's trying to stay out of long term relationships or getting too involved in a guy, because of past experiences. Maybe she's doing as a bit of a revenge thing?? Maybe she has gotten hurt that many times, she figurs she might do little pay back...maybe? It appears this girl has some serious hang-ups about guys...my advice, and I think you should try this. Don't attempt to try and talk to her about the way she is. I think you should leave it for now and just act normal, THEN if SHE'S ready to talk to you about things, then let her. Don't push the issue. Maybe show her that your not looking for anything serious, and that by winning her attraction and trust, she might open up a bit... Cos this girl is I.N.S.E.C.U.R.E!! No questions about that one! Let us know how you go! Link to post Share on other sites
stillhere Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Stillhere i agree with you too....i tend to overanalyze things alot, so i am going to try and hold out!!.....You know I really didn't even think about if she was wondering about the "package" theory. I throwed in the black/white thing b/c i remember when i was in high school, that she didn't go out with "black" guys, which sorta pissed me off and made me get over her then...and now all of sudden she contacts me, a "black" guy a couple years later. It feels as if she would like to get to know me better, but, i think, thats she's thinkin it would be strange to see herself with a black guy. stange??? do you think she just wants me to be her fu$% buddy??? Only she knows what she wants, so i'm sorry that i can't help you there. Maybe she has changed, and really does want to get to know you better. Maybe she didn't have a hang up with you being black in high school, maybe her parents did. Did you ever think of that. Today's society is becoming much more relaxed, but there are still some older folks out there that don't want people of different races together. Do i agree with it, no way in hell. No matter what color you are, you're still a human being with feelings, and a personality, and love to share with another person. So maybe that was the case back then. Now she is out on her own, and doesn't have to answer to her parents. Sweetie, give her a chance. If she screws up, cast her off your list of friends. At least you will have tried, and then you can know for sure. You never know, this may be the girl you marry! Life is all about chances and change, you'll never know unless you try! Link to post Share on other sites
Author bobee Posted June 30, 2006 Author Share Posted June 30, 2006 So stillhere, from a woman's perspective, do you think from my previous post that i wrote, do you think she may be insecure? If so, from a woman's perpective, how should I go about approaching her, without doing any harm to her emotions?? She is a very special person to me, and the thought of having a long-term relationship or marrying her wouldn't be a bad idea!! She is not like any other girl i've met. There's something different about her, that makes her attractive to me. Link to post Share on other sites
stillhere Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 from a woman's perspective, do you think from my previous post that i wrote, do you think she may be insecure? If so, from a woman's perpective, how should I go about approaching her, without doing any harm to her emotions?? I think she may be trying to weed out weird men on a very public site. Some men will hit on anything that moves! It is possible that she is insecure, but she may not be. The only way to find out is to get to know her. As for approaching her, i think you're doing fine. Keep it friendly, don't be overbearing. Most girls hate that. Don't call her 20 times a day. Maybe text her to say hi. The weekends fast approaching, so ask her if she has plans. If she doesn't answer you right away, leave it be. Don't text her and ask why she's not answering you. Be cool, calm and collected. About the part where you don't want to harm her emotions..........do you mean that you want to ask her if she's insecure? If that's what you mean, don't come out and ask her if she is. Her actions will speak louder than any words. If she needs you to tell her she's beautiful and fishes for compliments, than yes, she is insecure. If she needs attention from everyone around her, then yes, she is. Get to know her as a friend first, since you guys never really talked. Then, if you two were meant to be, things will just fall into place. I know it's hard and that you want her to be all yours right now, but you gotta take it slow. Let her body language and your conversations tell you what she is interested in. If she wants you, she'll let you know. Good luck sweetie, keep us updated. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bobee Posted June 30, 2006 Author Share Posted June 30, 2006 I thank you gfto, stillher, and lovestruck234, for all for ur help thus far!! I promise I will keep you all updated on how it goes! Ya'll are lifesavers! Link to post Share on other sites
stillhere Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Go get her, and if it doesn't work out..........there are so many other girls out there that will adore you. She isn't the only one. Remember that. Link to post Share on other sites
lovestruck234 Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 QUOTE: do you think she may be insecure? Yes. Definitely. There is every sign showing that she is... QUOTE: She is a very special person to me, and the thought of having a long-term relationship or marrying her wouldn't be a bad idea!! She is not like any other girl i've met. There's something different about her, that makes her attractive to me Then have a go! If you really like this girl and everything in your gut feeling is saying go, then don't hold back cos your worried she's not into you, that's all part of life's challenges....YOU CAN DO IT!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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