Caroline XT Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 I found out recently that my 16-year-old son is dating a 44-year-old woman. I worry about him - the age gap is 28 years - and I fear he will have a lot of problems in this relationship. He's talking about marrying her too - and she wants to marry him too. He spends most of his free time with this woman too (also, this woman has no children and is divorced!) What do I do? This has been causing me stress lately. Advice is appreciated. Caroline from Leeds, England Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 Wow theres alot of unconfirmed accounts! Well this is just me and not sure what the laws are where you live, but chances are my 16 year old son wouldn't be dating a 44 year old woman. Big age difference not to mention they probably have nothing at all in common. At 44 shes been around the block so to speak and knows a little more about life. At 16 hes just beginning. Let me guess the 44 year old wants to show him the ways of the world? Or perhaps she already has. Here where I live 16 is considered a minor up till the age of 18, so like I said if I had a 16 year old son he wouldn't be dating a 44 year old. I would figure at 16 he already has one mother, doesn't need another. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
933KJL Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 Move to Arkansas or West Virginia--it's all fine there! Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 Maybe he is wanting a mother figure .. Are you working alot ? Do you spend much time with him ? I'm trying to figure why a 16 yr old would want to be with someone that is old enough to be his mom .... Maybe he is wanting that motherly figure you are providing ..He can't be in love with her!! She is a sick individual to want to be with someone that young!!! Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Lil Honey Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 I don't mean to be rude, but I wonder if this post is "for real." You seem pretty calm about the whole thing. I would be WAY BEYOND "worried" and "stressed." I'd be filing charges against her. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 Alabama... and there you can be 16 and marry your 50 year old cousin Link to post Share on other sites
TUDOR Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 I hate to break this to you but it sounds like your 16 old is having his first regular sex and with a 44 year old it is undoubtedly his favorite past time of his life thus far. He isn't in love he is infatuated with her and it us up to you to distinguish the two. You may not want think it is about sex and he may even deny it but I gurantee you that is what it is about. NO 44 year old and 16 yeard old will have much in common except a high peaked sex drive. My advice is to get him away from her and let him be a kid for a little while longer. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 There isn't much you can do right now. He is going to be with her no matter what you say. I suggest that you meet her face to face. Does she love him? Or is it just about sex? If you tell him not to see her, he'll go see her anyway. Sadly, this is more or less where you're up against the wall. For now, talk to him, listen to him. Find out what it is about her that he loves. 16 is young and I'm sure he feels inlove, having sex and all the feelings that go with it. She is 44 and knows she's been around the block afew times. I highly doubt she is going to marry him. He isn't going to marry her either, just right now he thinks he is. Link to post Share on other sites
Lil Honey Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 Slip her a couple hundred to leave and not come back. Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 wasn't there a thread exactly like this a month or two ago? I would press charge his is a kid she's an adult. Link to post Share on other sites
Pendawn Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 If this is genuine, then the mother cannot press charges. It is a perfectly legal relationship in the Uk. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 No, that's the father who's 13 year old son was banging the 18 year old girl nextdoor. Link to post Share on other sites
Gold Pile Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 How attractive is this 44 year old? That's all that really matters. Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. DysFUNction Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 middle age and puberty......ewwwwww.... Check the laws in your state, it could be considered statutory rape. Although some states have ages of consent of 14. Is the father of the 16 yr old in the picture? If he lives in a different city or state can your son go stay with him for awhile. It would definitely cool things off if some distance were created between the two of them. Either sending him off somewhere to Boarding school or a Foreign Exchange Student Program. He needs to finish his education and put marriage to his middle aged HO on the back burner. Definitely shed light on this issue to the authorities, your relatives, her friends, anyone who will listen. Its an already doomed relationship that needs to end now before things get worse. Is the 44 yr old older than you his mother? Good Luck, also try running her off with a shotgun. Link to post Share on other sites
jaye Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 i think she is insane for a 16y old kid but when i was 21 i did a 48y old woman but it didn't last too long i moved on and i guess when he gets hit by someone in his age he will take that oppertunity and leave her. Link to post Share on other sites
bunnzy Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 I bet anything the 44yr old woman is going through a mid life crisis of sorts and is using your son. That is so disgusting. I agree with Ms. DysFUNction; She deserves to be shot. Link to post Share on other sites
jaye Posted October 16, 2005 Share Posted October 16, 2005 I bet anything the 44yr old woman is going through a mid life crisis of sorts and is using your son. That is so disgusting. I agree with Ms. DysFUNction; She deserves to be shot. I don't understand something, why everyone is just blaming the woman. this situation is splitted 50% from her and 50% from the guy. if i would want my kid to do something different i will change few things different. if i was you i would start by looking at his friends maybe ask them for a little help. dig more and ask one of his friends to try and hook him up with someone in his age. i did it with my brother he left this oldfart in 2 days and got himself hooked up with this other girl. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted October 17, 2005 Share Posted October 17, 2005 Sounds to me that he is looking for a mother figure.. Are you working alot of hrs that he isn't able to get your time? What would someone want with a 16yr old being that old i find that odd.. Does she have children of her own? Maybe this is the child she never had if she doesn't have any.. How is your relatinship with your son? My H's neice began dating older guys because they treated her good and her father never really been there for her maybe this is his way of trying to get your attention..She told later the reason was they treated her like a daughter ..She wanted her dad to get mad and take notice when he did she stopped ... Not saying that is what is happening just saying it could be.. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Lilly Bubbles Posted October 17, 2005 Share Posted October 17, 2005 in alabama it is not legal for a 16 year old to marry at all. If a child is wanting to marry someone they have to have there gardians permision.i am pretty sure it is like that in most states. Link to post Share on other sites
ettie31 Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 OMG!! He's still under 18 so he can't make decisons without your approval. MOve somewhere far away from that woman. Link to post Share on other sites
PuppyDogEyes Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 OMG!! He's still under 18 so he can't make decisons without your approval. MOve somewhere far away from that woman. Hate to tell you this, but.... yes, he can. He's located in the U.K., and at 16, the relationship is perfectly legal. Not everyone is based in the U.S. -pde. Link to post Share on other sites
Jennifer xC Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 My 16-year-old son told me yesterday he wants to marry his girlfriend soon - who is also 16. He goes to college and is doing well at the moment, so no worries there. I asked him had he thought about his future and he said yes, he wants to go to university in Nottingham in two years time, work very hard at uni and then work at McDonald's - his dream job, he says. His girlfriend isn't pregnant, thankfully. I don't understand why he wants to get married so young - won't he have a lot of problems in his life later on if he marries now?? Jennifer from Warrington, United Kingdom Link to post Share on other sites
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