are relationships normal?

[MarcoInaros]

Sometimes I wonder if I am insane or not. I grew up in a very conservative household, I had a group of friends through high school and college that were completely asexual. We never talked about relationships. And here I am, 25 years old and still haven't touched a girl. Never kissed. I've asked a few out but to no avail. It's true that I need to meet more people and try harder, but dating and intimacy seem like totally foriegn concepts to me, things that I desperately want but cannot attain. This leads to depression, and then people tell me that I need to fix myself before I even think about dating, which turns into a cruel cycle. Would I be correct in saying that dating, kissing, relationships are normal and that we can persue them if we want to? Because I am afraid to talk about these topics with other people and when I do try to initiate some kind of interaction with a girl they seem to see red flags in me. These forums are my best outlet since they are anonymous.

[JS17]

Hi Jeff, it's great to see you back here! I think you've mentioned before that you are aware that you have social anxiety. I think you've also mentioned that you've been on ocial anxiety sites like this one so you're aware that there are many people who are in the same situation as yourself. You're not insane and not everyone is really interested in relationships in high school...loads of people are late bloomers.

 

I'm no expert so take what I say with a grain of salt. Social anxiety is different than all other personality disorders. I think that you need to do the exact opposite of what people are telling you. I believe that if you put yourself out there and start dating then you will learn to overcome your social anxiety. I think you need a good support group whether it be family, friends, CSW/Psychologist, or traditional support group when you take on this challenge. (other people on this site or a SA site will be able to better advise you on how to find these) It is likely you will hit some bumps along this road and you will need support.

 

When you meet a woman you like, keep it lite at first. Talk to her about lite interests that you think you both might have. You might do best with younger women that aren't that experienced either. You may feel more comfortable that way. Keep coming back if you think you could use more advice.