3questions Posted October 4, 2005 Share Posted October 4, 2005 I am in deep, feeling of whatever that it is right now. deep stuff. i dated this girl and i've made her feel pretty in bed, i mean.. she is pretty but i am guessing she gets worked up from other people. kinda like she gets insecure you know.. and now that i am not with her I keep worrying if she will get in bed with someone because of this, and it will be all my fault! the guy might even use her for goodness sake. well this is the SHORT story I promise. before her I dated this girl that i fell in love with, madly. Then she pop's up, and it wasn't much like building a relationship but more of a give and take. I open my heart more than she did in a matter fact, it was like i was showering her with gifts but in return she didn't give me enough heart. I would feel insecure and stuff. So she would give me lots of sex. On the count that i would be selfish and feel like she is not, since, i felt the greatest of all loves before. True love percisly. She is still waiting for me.. is what she said. Now i am even stuck on a sitaution where should i accept the love she gives me? That will make the ex leave me, and if i start building which i attempted i would sometimes accidently say i love you to my ex instead of her. the reason why my ex hasn't left me because i guess it was like '' i will love you no matter what you do, because this is how strong we are.". anyway i dont want to make it long! please give advice. Link to post Share on other sites
BadBadGirl Posted October 4, 2005 Share Posted October 4, 2005 '' i will love you no matter what you do, because this is how strong we are.". it can't be that strong for both of you if you're saying "do whatever you want and i will love you anyway." that's called "desperate and sad." don't get walked all over, or it will always be that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 3questions Posted October 4, 2005 Author Share Posted October 4, 2005 Thanks. "Cya" around the forums. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 3questions Posted October 4, 2005 Author Share Posted October 4, 2005 I find this a little clear now.. this is what has been hiding behind a door for awhile now, and I think I found out all these reasons… but… I really cant do nothing about it. I finally found out that my life must have dropped somewhere, and than I became the nicest guy in the world. I don’t show it, it’s not like.. im going to give you this and that. ( Though I would). It is more of people walking all over me. It is like my heart is open to them and I can’t really be myself because somewhere it is like He/She won’t like me unless I love them. Just like how I been loving my girlfriend… well… this is the case with her. I went out with her for 10 months, I over gave my heart to her because she got all the benefit in the relationship. All the confidence of knowing she had someone who thought she was the greatest person in the world, the sexist, prettiest. Again, I didn’t exactly say these things but the way I was just gave that message. I know love and trust keeps a girl in control.. but if you are not controlling her to benefit herself, you know, to make her feel like she actually DOES want to call me, or talk to me. Than that means she is not really with you. Now this girlfriend I am dating.. sometimes when she knows she is not giving enough “at that time I thought I wasn’t accepting her love”. But the only reason why I wasn’t was because I was sooo nice. Like I don’t get it. Is it me being nice? Is it me being sad and my way of coping it? Is it what? I HAVE NO CLUE BUT IT IS EATING ME ALIVE. My life sucks right now because I am realizing this and my heartaches because I feel like I need to be the nicest guy in the world to be loved, even looked at. NO wonder I stare at people in the eyes for so long until they LOVED me? It is so strange… I also have a history of this, my brother, he seems like he gets messed around in the heart.. maybe because he was sad than the only way to be loved is love totally? Since I noticed this… last class this girl was telling me how “I’m so nice.” With absolutely no visual of me being nice. It is still there because I let people take my ability to stand 10 feet tall, I am all-quiet... SHE is nice enough to tell me that, most people would just take it and leave me feeling like I can’t even speak my mind or anything. I live my life being fake pushing myself when no one is even listening. Now that I noticed this it has making me more sadder because I realize maybe I am doing this because I’m sad…. I had a relationship before all this and I gave her all my heart and she seem to appreciate it. The only problem was how was I appreciating it? Some people were telling me I needed a girlfriend because of how low I was. I was just following my heart now look what it got me into! Man this is the basic concept, I give away my confidence and heart and soul to someone until they feel sorry for me.. than when I would notice that I would be mad. (like my girlfriend, so she gives me sex). Or until they are benefiting there ass off. It is like I am walking in knees around the school talking, looking, at people, which is exceptionally hard. Than when I TRY to stand up for myself they see that.. than I don’t think.. but I feel like I need to stop standing up so I can stay this way. I can’t do nothing about it. It hurts.to give your heart to everyone you see or look at, even the air.. I am practically walking around naked and than when they talk to me I try to cover myself up. Oh god help me… “ I wasn’t was because I was sooo nice. Like I don’t get it. Is it me being nice? Is it me being sad and my way of coping it? Is it what? I HAVE NO CLUE BUT IT IS EATING ME ALIVE. “ HELP ME PLEASEEEEE! =/ . Link to post Share on other sites
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