??shes putting me down and i need to help

[3questions]

Why do girls put the guy low? Is it a test to assure that we wont leave them? I first got angry at this idea and losted my girlfriend's trust I think.. but I believe I didn't do anything wrong but maybe frightened her? Now she has her back turned on me and she keeps expecting me to "Be the man about things". At the same time I think "I don't deserve this".. That is when I got really angry and hitted her. This means she had already turned her back on me before I even pursued that, how can I not abuse someone that emotionally abuse me? Last night she went to a party to ?bring me down on purpose?, so is she really that insecure? Am I making things worser for her? Or is she playing games? How can I keep her feelings lifted if I am concerned with what she does with mine? I am trying to understand her but she is misleading me and making it harder for me to change. Then again, change for what? Maybe change the way I am now, but I'll say it again--- the only reason why I did her wrong was because she made me feel low. When I tell her she would keep disagreeing and keep doing things to make me feel lower. If she's doing this, I probably have no choice but to stop fighting for something I cant even do and play this game too. Isn't she doing it? She seems happy without me but she says her life is horrible because of my actions, if only if she stopped hers. What do you think?

[LucreziaBorgia]

Abuse is not a way to say "I love you". Period.

 

It is not a test. It is not a game. It is not a term of endearment. It is not a show of affection. It is a way of mapping your hurt onto another person, and the fact that you both resort to abuse in this relationship says one thing and one thing only:

 

that you are completely wrong for each other and this relationship is deeply unhealthy for you both.

 

You have to ask yourself this:

 

What are you getting out of this relationship? Why do you want to stay in it when she does little else but expose you to emotional abuse, to the point where you feel compelled to hit her?

 

It sounds like you two are holding on to each other for no good reasons. I see no reason that you should stay together and every reason for you both to just walk away.

[Sheba]

You are attempting to justify assaulting this woman. She does not deserve to be assaulted, she deserves to be alone. I can assure you the Court won't consider her "putting you down" as any excuse for your crime. You are responsible for your actions, as she is for hers, but hurting someone's feelings is NOT against the law.

 

Get away from her. Get help for yourself.

 

Move as quickly as possible.

[3questions]

Thanks for the advices. I love her and now things are going a lot better. The only problem is that the previous cycle whereas I would stock on her, feel like I don’t make her happy, she don’t make me happy, etc.. I am worried that it will fall back to that.. In her mind I think she knows that things will change tomorrow, even though everything we went through was what made us stronger. I am aware of my change in my general life too and people are starting to look at me as a different kid and I cant help to think that it was the way they were treating me… like I was stupid. What should I do? When I’m around people it is like something is always wrong with me, like I am constantly thinking about “life.”. I barley socialize and I am here typing this when I am supposed to be in class doing my work… sigh* . This is how I was previously also. Please post anything you can.