discontent Posted September 10, 2005 Share Posted September 10, 2005 Hi there, this is my first post to this forum. I actually came across it by googling "caught boyfriend pornography" because I caught my boyfriend downloading porn on my computer yesterday, and was trying to read some similar stories/responses to try to figure out why it's bothering me, and what to do about it. After some reflection, I've realized the reason I don't like him watching porn is because it "gives him ideas" and then he tries to get me to do things that I don't really want to do, but then I'm afraid that if I don't he's going to try to find someone who will... anyways, this is all just an introduction, it's not actually why I'm posting -- My boyfriend and I have been together for a year (our anniversary is in 2 days). He is by far the best boyfriend I've -EVER- had. He's a bit immature, but he's not crazy (like many guys I've been with), he treats me amazingly, he gets along great with my family, we have a lot in common, rarely fight, etc. We lived together for a couple months back home, and then moved across the country together and have been living together for the past few months here on the West coast. But, before he moved in with me, I was actually still living with my ex (tricky situation) and cheated on him with my ex (but then told him after and he eventually forgave me - we'd only been dating a couple months at that point). But the entire time I've always wanted to be with other guys, too. (And, as I mentioned, have previously indulged). I don't want to break up with my boyfriend because I don't think I'd ever find anyone I get along with as well, or who is as wonderful as he is. I just don't know what to do -- lately I've almost developed a child-like "crush" on a few different guys I've met out here. It's crazy. This monogamy thing is killing me. I thought this problem was exclusive to men! Now I know that the alternative is having a discussion and seeing if he would be willing to try having a more "open realationship" -- but I have friends who are in these types of relationships and they're constantly telling me about being wraught with jealousy and having a really hard time controlling it. I -KNOW- I would have the same problem. I'm not sure what to do... just open to any advice. thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Gold Pile Posted September 10, 2005 Share Posted September 10, 2005 The ex is one thing, but the roving eye is another. You'll not make a loyal partner. And eventually he'll know you well enough to notice when you're hot for others. Sorry I can't find anything positive. Link to post Share on other sites
megabit15 Posted September 10, 2005 Share Posted September 10, 2005 the grass is always greener syndrome. Watch the show "Cheaters" - that ought to make you think twice! Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted September 10, 2005 Share Posted September 10, 2005 You're not crazy about your b/f looking at porn but yet you can't keep your eyes off other guys, and even are maybe wanting an open relationship?? I think thats calling the kettle black. I say if you want to be with others then break up with your b/f. Don't string him along making him think things are fine when you're feeling the way you are. If he is good you, and is as amazing as you say, I would think his porn habit might be the least of your problems. The main issue here is you wanting to be with others. Do him a favor and break up with him so you can go be with whoever. Sounds like you're wanting the comfort of a b/f, but wanting to be with others too, it don't work like that. Stop playing the game, "I want my cake and eat it too." Jade Link to post Share on other sites
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