JS17 Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 when breakups occur or even just friendships ending, why can't men just be upfront and say goodbye? what's with jerking women around? why do we have to get to the point where we are so aggrivated that we say feck off? Link to post Share on other sites
katty Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Good question, however I am not sure if we can put all of this on the male. I think there is also some females that are guilty of the same. Most of the times it is because you are dealing with a CP, and its not that they do not know how to say goodbye they just don't want to because it would close the door and CPS never close doors. They like to leave a crack in it just in case they decide they want to slither back in some day. Link to post Share on other sites
Opium Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by JS17 when breakups occur or even just friendships ending, why can't men just be upfront and say goodbye? what's with jerking women around? why do we have to get to the point where we are so aggrivated that we say feck off? It's human nature, woman do it too! It's always hard to say goodbye especially if you haven't finished loving them, if that makes sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Zaira Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 A lot of them feel they don't need to state the obvious. It would be nice for closure, but it doesn't always happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by JS17 why do we have to get to the point where we are so aggrivated that we say feck off? Hmm.. Well My take is this.. Sometimes regardless of gender the person who wants the relationship to end ironically enough doesn't want to be the one to end it.. could be fear of hurting the other persons feelings, not wanting the responsibility (so to speak) of the relationship coming to an end.. so rather than say they no longer want the relationship instead he/she just starts doing things to piss you off, or aggravate you to the point you end the relationship with them.. That way they can say it is what YOU wanted, they have zero guilt over it ending and take no responsibility for things not working out... I dunno... Link to post Share on other sites
Moai Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 It all depends. If I don't really care about her I'll end it right to her face and never look back. If I care about her but there are things I just can't get past then it gets more difficult. I usually try to distance myself and keep a scene to a minimum. Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by katty Good question, however I am not sure if we can put all of this on the male. I think there is also some females that are guilty of the same. Most of the times it is because you are dealing with a CP, and its not that they do not know how to say goodbye they just don't want to because it would close the door and CPS never close doors. They like to leave a crack in it just in case they decide they want to slither back in some day. What's CP? Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewJ Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 "It's human nature, woman do it too! It's always hard to say goodbye especially if you haven't finished loving them, if that makes sense." As Maroon 5 sung "so hard to say goodbye" Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by loony What's CP? Commitmentphobia. Even though I'm usually sure about not wanting an ex back, I still like to stay on friendly terms. I don't say "goodbye" for that reason Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo Commitmentphobia. Even though I'm usually sure about not wanting an ex back, I still like to stay on friendly terms. I don't say "goodbye" for that reason Thanks. I think the original poster meant to ask why the guys never put closure to a story, but were hesitating and not knowing what they wanted. Ending a relationship, but staying on friendly terms with someone is different to not knowing if you really want to end it or not. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by loony Thanks. My pleasure. I think the original poster meant to ask why the guys never put closure to a story, but were hesitating and not knowing what they wanted. In that case, I'm always sure about my decision. And I always give closure. Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo In that case, I'm always sure about my decision. And I always give closure. Sure, I know you would. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by loony Sure, I know you would. Is that sarcasm? I'm not too far away to come over and give you a good smacking Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo Is that sarcasm? I'm not too far away to come over and give you a good smacking Come here. And then let's see who gives who a good smacking. P.S. It wasn't sarcasm. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JS17 Posted July 19, 2005 Author Share Posted July 19, 2005 i originally posted this because i was talking to one of my friends (female) about this guy that i dated for only 2 months (no Love) there. i did the breaking (and i'm sure it was mutual) but decided that we could be friends since we weren't together that long and hadn't gotten deep into the relationship. he jerked me around for a month after that and finally i had to tell him that he was being a jerk and that i couldn't stand his games anymore. i told him until he decided what he wanted, goodbye. i was asking my friend why couldn't he just end it if he didn't really want a friendship instead of jerking me around. it hurts a lot more than it would have a month ago. that was the basis of my question but i appreciate all of the answers because it gave me some additional insight into former break ups of loving relationships that were more serious. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by JS17 why can't men just be upfront and say goodbye? because we don't need to say "goodbye". women need closure, men usually do not. Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale women need closure, men usually do not. Hm? Why? Link to post Share on other sites
Author JS17 Posted July 19, 2005 Author Share Posted July 19, 2005 it's not about closure. this guy said he wanted to have an active friendship and to see me. he kept making plans to see me and then just not calling the day of. why bother saying that he wanted an active friendship, why not just say goodbye on friendly terms instead of making things simply bad? i agree in a different scenario, women do seem to need closure more so than men. Link to post Share on other sites
Opium Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by JS17 it's not about closure. this guy said he wanted to have an active friendship and to see me. he kept making plans to see me and then just not calling the day of. why bother saying that he wanted an active friendship, why not just say goodbye on friendly terms instead of making things simply bad? i agree in a different scenario, women do seem to need closure more so than men. He probably doesn't want you to think he's still "after" you in a romatic way and some men instead of being straight forward tend to play immature games. By treating you this way he's proving to himself that he never really liked you when in fact he probably did and it didn't work out. This guy sounds really unstable, I wouldn't want a guy like that around me. Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by JS17 i agree in a different scenario, women do seem to need closure more so than men. Hm, maybe because men are used to getting turned down all the time? So, they don't bother anymore to ask to much about the whys. (Oh my god, that sounds so logical. Why didn't I think about this before? ) Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by loony P.S. It wasn't sarcasm. Up for the smacking anytime Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by Opium By treating you this way he's proving to himself that he never really liked you when in fact he probably did and it didn't work out. This guy sounds really unstable, I wouldn't want a guy like that around me. Agreed. Most of us don't behave like this... Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo Up for the smacking anytime You don't know to what you're inviting yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by loony You don't know to what you're inviting yourself. No Judo though Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo No Judo though Ah, I forgot... What's the name of your cat? Link to post Share on other sites
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