Friend request? Following? Whats going on?...

[lawndartsstick]

OK, I will try to make this short and simple.

 

Ex broke up with me almost a year ago(F)

Was very abrupt.

 

She requests that we do not speak again. I follow through with this even to this very minute.

Ex has new boyfriend a little less than one month after she says "goodbye"...

Now, the break up was not in person, it was in letter form.

Highlights include:

Your not the one, I still love you, you helped me so much in my life, we cant be friends, Im so sorry,I know this will hurt you, better now than later, this is goodbye, do not try to contact me in any form.

Mix in some fluff, and thats the jist of it.

Good song titles am I right?

 

I never unfriended her on FB.

Why? at the time I had no closure, I still don't, and was simply trying to figure out things with glimpses into her life.

I did not stop following her on Insta either, same reason.

 

Current:She still has boyfriend.

She starts following me on insta again likes a pic or two,then unfollows two weeks later...I'm like"wth"...ok...wtf.

What the hell was the point of that? Whatever, **** never made since anyway.

Follows me again several months later, stays following to this minute(i am not bothered by it).

Several weeks after that I get a FB request from her new secondary profile. That copies almost all her current friends, and boyfriend, and family and you name it.

 

What gives?

I could understand if closure was had...or I should say given to me.If We made up and are now just friends. However, I need to point out again that I was told we couldn't be that, and not to contact her in anyway almost a year ago.

No messages have been given to me along with any of the requests or follows. All of our photos are still up on her original page which is still in use. I was pretty sure most people took those down after a breakup.

 

That is why I am posting, that is why I am confused about this.

I do not hate her. I am silently happy for what she is doing in her life...I will admit though the way she handled this a year ago left a very bad taste in my mouth, and a lot of questions, and I am pretty sure there was some form of micro cheating(through texts,though I have no tangible proof.).

For what I did for her,the time I was with her, and who I thought I was in her life, I deserved none of that ****ty behavior. You dont want to be with me fine...at least give me the respect of breaking it off clean with explanations as to why. If the roles were switched I would have given her that very same respect.

I do not want to make her life hell. I don't even need to speak to her, even though I still to this day have questions.

I just want to understand the reasoning.

 

Any incites?

[Mr.Me]

I get curious of how my exes are getting along in life.

Even though I would never ever take any of them back, I once felt something and saw something and so I get curious from time to time about whatever happened to them.

 

Perhaps she is like me. Just curious.

[lawndartsstick]

Thats just as likely an answer as any other I guess.

[Popsicle]

Question: were you “ liking” any of her posts during the time you weren’t speaking?

[Whodatdog]

I dont understand closure. She broke up with you. She has a new boyfriend. Why keep hanging on to this for "closure"? You had closure. You just dont want to accept it.

 

Stop looking backwards. It will hold you back. Look forward. Which means stop wondering about what she is doing and why she is doing it. She is not your concern anymore.

[Mac0908]

How long did you date? How old is she? These are some form of attention games straight out of teenage land and I suggest not even giving them a second thought. Continue to move on with your life. AND she has a boyfriend, too?? Sounds like you should stay clear from this one regardless. Immaturity and insecurity is what I sense from her. Although obviously you still have at least 25% interest in her or you wouldn’t be starting this thread. Bottom line, unless she reaches out in a REAL way and starts a REAL conversation you should never speak to this woman again as long as you live.

 

I get the whole closure thing. I do. It’s something we crave after getting dumped in a way we weren’t happy with, but she moved on to another guy. You need to forget about her.

[lawndartsstick]

Popsicle:

No I didnt like any posts, comment, or thumbs up.

 

Whodatdog:

Its not that Im wondering whats been going on with her. Im wondering what this particular behavior is thats being projected onto me after being told what she told me me to never do.

 

When you get abrutly broken up with with by reasons not conforming to a ersons particular pattern you have witnessed over the years you have questions..or closure. Had this breakup fallen into her same behavior your right it would have beenjust exactly as you said.

 

Mac0908:

Dated for 3 years friends for 4.

Some percentage of wanting her back? Maybe even less than 25% man.

She is 24

I had pretty much forgotten her and moved on. Just when I do so, these things happen. So I posted about them. Had they not have happened I would not nhave posted you know? I dont want her back, shes not who I remember. No dice. Kust wanted to know the behavior.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I get curious of how my exes are getting along in life.

Even though I would never ever take any of them back, I once felt something and saw something and so I get curious from time to time about whatever happened to them.

 

Perhaps she is like me. Just curious.

 

I agree.

 

I get curious about people of any age and gender even if I didn't date them, too. I probably wouldn't be on Facebook at all if I wasn't so curious about other people

[Popsicle]

Popsicle:

No I didnt like any posts, comment, or thumbs up.

 

Whodatdog:

Its not that Im wondering whats been going on with her. Im wondering what this particular behavior is thats being projected onto me after being told what she told me me to never do.

 

When you get abrutly broken up with with by reasons not conforming to a ersons particular pattern you have witnessed over the years you have questions..or closure. Had this breakup fallen into her same behavior your right it would have beenjust exactly as you said.

 

Mac0908:

Dated for 3 years friends for 4.

Some percentage of wanting her back? Maybe even less than 25% man.

She is 24

I had pretty much forgotten her and moved on. Just when I do so, these things happen. So I posted about them. Had they not have happened I would not nhave posted you know? I dont want her back, shes not who I remember. No dice. Kust wanted to know the behavior.

 

I totally understand.

As soon as I felt like I was over my ex bf, he or his mom would send a text or FB like. It would send me spiraling back into thinking about him. So I decided to block the ex. But I certainly would have done the same thing you did if I was dumped so suddenly like you were.

[Mr.Me]

I agree.

 

I get curious about people of any age and gender even if I didn't date them, too. I probably wouldn't be on Facebook at all if I wasn't so curious about other people

 

I call it people watching. I don't want to be involved, but I'm curious to the drama.

Sometimes when I eat alone I'm always looking up and looking around. Just watching other people, watching their food choices, watching their body languages, sometime reading lips. Sort of like a human zoo, I just sit back and watch people living their lives and wonder about things. Come to think of it, it's probably why I watch these threads.

[lawndartsstick]

I could understand wanting to see how your ex is doing for whatever reason you might havem....except she already can see what im doing, what I post, what I like through her orig profile on both FB and insta because we never unfriended each other in the first place.

[basil67]

She's done it because she's healed and can see what you're doing without becoming distressed.

[lawndartsstick]

I guess thats a possibility too.

The possibilty of actually speaking to me has always been there however. IF thats the case why beat around the bushes, blivk unblock block unblock like follow unfollow follow again new friend request...jesus......just send me a damn text. Quit confusing the hell out of me,speak your mind, lay out your intentions, no BS no little white lies.

And no, to me the answer to that behavior is not obvious, its chaotic. Otherwise I wouldnt be here.

 

Of course its never as easy as that though. People are strange creatures, they do unreasonable things out of emotion. Logic rarely enters the equation of love.

For instance me posting personal things on an open forum, asking random people to interpret the actions of another person that did some bad stuff to me mentally.

Logical me:...how the hell can you guys know,its not possible...

Emotional me: maybe they can help with this.

Just my thoughts..

 

Ahh well. I will just continue doing what I have been doing. Me. Maybe we will talk someday maybe not. Till then..she told me to not speak to her. Thats what I will continue to do.

[rickwman]

Sorry you are going thru this. Were there 'red flags' that you ignored or didn't address? Was this all her fault? Maybe sh's just immature. Understanding each others expectations are key to any relationship. Wise counsel, peace and understanding is important. Don't let negativity, jealousy, envy, strife or unforgiveness enter into your mind and heart. I'll stand with you that you will discover the answers you need from the wisdom of others.