Should I Give Up?

[TheOnliMe]

Hi, really looking for advice from other women and their take on this situation.

I've been with this guy for 3 n a half years and he thinks it's ok to still share a car with his son's mother. I'm going to try to keep it short but we have been through a lot in this little time and a lot of it came from his closeness with this woman and her bitterness towards our relationship. He doesn't respect my wishes of not driving her car anymore as if what I'm asking is unreasonable. A lot of the time it has nothing to do with the kid and he made sure I wasn't riding around or being this close with my son's father so he could feel secure but what about me? Why can't he respect my wishes like I did for him? Makes me feel like I should just let him go. It makes me uncomfortable and I feel like they have hidden feelings no matter if he's with me or not. I know he loves me but that's because I'm a good woman to him. I just act different when I see he doesn't care about my feelings dealing with his ex. I don't know what to do.

[d0nnivain]

Double standard much?

 

This man went out of his way to separate you from your son's father but he still shares a car with his EX?

 

I would not put up with this. While I don't think sharing the car is all that horrible, his insistence that you put up with a behavior that he wouldn't tolerate is unreasonable to me.

 

You have already wasted 3+ years. How much longer are you going to put up with being a 2nd class citizen in your own life?

[preraph]

I mean, if it's the only way he can have access to a car, maybe, but doesn't sound like it. I mean he has YOU now. I wouldn't put up with the double standard of it all. He wants both.

[Chilli]

Yeah afraid the old double standards are in there but l can understand how off it feels using her car.

My ex w use to turn up in her bf's car too, drove me nuts.

And then she doesn't like you guys either , she's probably loving her car being shoved in your face.

 

Hasn't he got a car ?

 

l hate games , won't play , but it'd be a good one having him turn up at her place in your car instead, see how she likes that !

 

Anyway , your well justified not liking it.

[Vyliss]

There are two things you can do.

 

a). Leave him because you're uncomfortable with his attachment to his ex-wife. (Which btw is normal - men often are still protective/feel responsible for their ex-partner - and his attachment to her will probably be "for a long time" considering they have kids together. That doesn't mean he loves her or wants to be with her - it just means he can't "cut ties" that easily.

 

b). Drop the issue entirely. Accept he will always have some type of "relationship" with his ex-wife but know that his heart and commitment is with you. Some women can accept this, some can't. The more you can accept this is the situation, the more he will love you and commit more to you naturally. The more you push against it, the more conflict you will have and it will probably drive him away.