lostanddestroyed Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 How normal is it in relationships to get blocked? Sometimes we get in a fight and she blocks me for an hour, sometimes, days, up to 3 days is the longest. It pisses me off. I've been blocked so much at this point it drives me crazy. We even had a conversation about blocking and she agreed not to do it anymore...she blocked me the next day. Is she crazy or what. I try not to fight with her. Things seem to escalate so easily with her. We are both in early 30's dating for a couple years. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleL Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 It's not normal or respectful. I am in the middle of dumping someone that does this lol. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostanddestroyed Posted February 20, 2018 Author Share Posted February 20, 2018 I hate her for doing this so much. And I don't know if it will be 1 hour or 3 days. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Not normal or healthy. If someone blocked me, I'd consider it a break up and permanently block them in return. You don't say what you're fighting about, why you fight so often or how the fights are managed. But I can't help but wonder if it's a toxic relationship even outside of the blocking. Anyway, after the latest discussion, it's very clear that she's not going to change. So it's now time to decide if you can accept her how she is or leave her. If you have self respect, you will leave her. If you leave and she promises change, there is zero reason to believe that she's capable of it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 completely unacceptable. I would not tolerate my bf blocking me for days on end. If anyone did that to me I would consider our relationship over and done. Your gf sounds horribly immature for her age 1 Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Blocking is certainly not a mature way of handling conflict, and it certainly isn't "normal" based on any relationships I've observed. This woman sounds like she needs to seriously consider how to handle conflict with people. We even had a conversation about blocking and she agreed not to do it anymore...she blocked me the next day. Is she crazy or what. I try not to fight with her. Things seem to escalate so easily with her. We are both in early 30's dating for a couple years. This is a blatant disregard for the resolution she has made toward this issue. It sounds like a nightmare... do you really want to continue dealing with this on a regular basis? I'd run for the hills! Link to post Share on other sites
DarrenB Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Certainly not deemed an acceptable approach. Acceptable if you're 12, otherwise it's outrageously ridiculous and damn right immature. If you have differences, settle it in person, what's with all this social media arguing nonsense? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 It's highly abnormal & incredibly immature. She seems to have very poor conflict resolution skills which make her an unsatisfactory partner for an LTR 3 Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 If you're getting into fights that often, regardless of whether or not she handles it like a 12 year old, maybe it's time to consider breaking up. You clearly aren't right for each other. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Red flag ALERT! I have a teenage boys and even THEY don't behave like this or tolerate their girlfriends from behaving like this. To be in your early thirties and still having to deal with this? Wow. Anyone who pulls a stunt like this on me would be given their pink slip STAT. I don't tolerate this level of immaturity at this stage in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Whether it's 5 minutes or 5 days it would be the end of our relationship. People above 4 years of age should be able to use *their words* to express disagreements. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JustGettingBy Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 I'd say leave just out of self-respect at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Sounds kind of silly. But maybe she just doesn't want to keep listening to you about it. Now, if she won't have a calm one time discussion about whatever it is, that's not going to work and you're not going to last and you need not put off breaing up; but if you can't stop bugging her and she gets tired of it and blocks you for awhile so she can take a breather, I can understand that. I'm coming from the perspective of an older person from a time before there was blocking, and it was quite common simply to not answer the phone for as long as it suits you. "I'll be gone" was the refrain. Ah, the good old days when you could get away from your phone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostanddestroyed Posted February 21, 2018 Author Share Posted February 21, 2018 (edited) You don't say what you're fighting about, why you fight so often or how the fights are managed. But I can't help but wonder if it's a toxic relationship even outside of the blocking. Ok last time she blocked me we were having a conversation and she started talking **** telling me "I'm just waiting for you to **** up again. You always do." I called her out on trash talking me, specifically saying trash talk is a reflection of what's inside you, and she responded "you and your avoiding techniques. Good day!" It literally happened that fast - within a few texts. I tried writing a few more texts over the next 7 minutes trying to open up the convo but she ignored me. And then she blocked me. I sent maybe 5 texts. The last one was a sarcastic remark about how "ok so this is the part of the conversation where you ignore me". The part that hurts most is she has a tendency to reach out to other men after she blocks me. The whole thing is really painful for me. If she blocks me for days, it's usually on social media too. Email is the only way we communicate sometimes because I'm blocked on everything else. And it's ridiculous, we'll have text style conversations over email... because she blocked me. Why not just unblock me? And then as if the clouds have cleared in a random weather system, I'll be unblocked from everything again. Edited February 21, 2018 by lostanddestroyed Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 Ok last time she blocked me we were having a conversation and she started talking **** telling me "I'm just waiting for you to **** up again. You always do." I called her out on trash talking me, specifically saying trash talk is a reflection of what's inside you, and she responded "you and your avoiding techniques. Good day!" It literally happened that fast - within a few texts. I tried writing a few more texts over the next 7 minutes trying to open up the convo but she ignored me. And then she blocked me. I sent maybe 5 texts. The last one was a sarcastic remark about how "ok so this is the part of the conversation where you ignore me". The part that hurts most is she has a tendency to reach out to other men after she blocks me. The whole thing is really painful for me. Why do you put up with that sh$t? Don't you have any pride left in you? She is bullying you left and right and you come back each time for more. You are all caught up in her trailer-park drama. Break up. It's ridiculous. Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 If she blocks me for days, it's usually on social media too. Email is the only way we communicate sometimes because I'm blocked on everything else. And it's ridiculous, we'll have text style conversations over email... because she blocked me. Why not just unblock me? More importantly, why not just break up with her? This sounds like absolute hell. No self respecting person would willingly put up with this. Why on Earth are you with this person? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostanddestroyed Posted February 21, 2018 Author Share Posted February 21, 2018 Why do you put up with that sh$t? Don't you have any pride left in you? She is bullying you left and right and you come back each time for more. You are all caught up in her trailer-park drama. Break up. It's ridiculous. Thank you. Trying to find the courage to be ok with this. I don't know why I can't stand up for myself. I don't want to let her go. She's a great catch for the most part. but we all have our ****. The thought of losing her give me anxiety attacks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostanddestroyed Posted February 21, 2018 Author Share Posted February 21, 2018 More importantly, why not just break up with her? This sounds like absolute hell. No self respecting person would willingly put up with this. Why on Earth are you with this person? Honestly I don't know. I'm attached and codependent. Outside of the relationship, I'm completely independent. I run my own business and take in a great income. I'm a fully functioning adult. But I'm completely emotionally dependent on this person. My world feels like it would end should something happen to us. So I let her do what she wants. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 Thank you. Trying to find the courage to be ok with this. I don't know why I can't stand up for myself. I don't want to let her go. She's a great catch for the most part. but we all have our ****. The thought of losing her give me anxiety attacks. You're trying to be ok with her abuse? Listen, you talk like a woman victime of domestic violence * but he's so nice when he's not mad at me, or he's so nice when he doesn't drink* This woman has destroyed your self-worth and your better judgement. You don't want to let her go for the same reason horses want to go back into their burning stable, you want to stay because you don't know any better. Anxiety attack won't kill you, it's just anxiety and it will pass. You are addicted to her drama. You need to break the cycle. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 Honestly I don't know. I'm attached and codependent. Outside of the relationship, I'm completely independent. I run my own business and take in a great income. I'm a fully functioning adult. But I'm completely emotionally dependent on this person. My world feels like it would end should something happen to us. So I let her do what she wants. Go to therapy. This woman will destroy you and one day she will leave with half what you have built. Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 Sounds a bit dramatic . Seems as you like or love so many other things about her you could try just staying away from her when she blocks ya, don't chase her and don't be there when she feels like coming back , make her wait. I'd say that might all tone down the fighting thing too because people are a bit more careful about fighting once they figure out there could be consequences. l know that all sounds tit for tat but if you feel like that way about her it might be worth trying first before you walk away. just sayin. Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 Honestly I don't know. I'm attached and codependent. Outside of the relationship, I'm completely independent. I run my own business and take in a great income. I'm a fully functioning adult. But I'm completely emotionally dependent on this person. My world feels like it would end should something happen to us. So I let her do what she wants. That doesn't sound healthy, I'd talk to a therapist if I were you. Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Whodatdog Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 She certainly feels like, and probably has, the upper hand in this relationship. She doesnt respect you, she feels she can do whatever she wants to you, and you will be there for her. Give her some of her own medicine. Block her. And dont unblock it. Let her make the effort to contact you someway. If she doesnt try and contact you? What have you lost? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostanddestroyed Posted March 5, 2018 Author Share Posted March 5, 2018 (edited) F#@K!!! She's ignoring me again! 2 days of no responses to my texts or calls. She didn't block me but it feel like it since there is zero response from texts and she hasnt answered one phone call in the last two days. She emailed me saying if I called her again she would block me. This feels insane to me. She's hurt because she brought up her feelings on something and I basically told her she was wrong (because I had a different opinion). She hung up on me and hasn't responded to my texts or calls since. It was stupid of me to brush off her feelings like that and I've apologized 100 times since it happened. It doesnt make sense to shut down communication. I feel like we could have resolved it with another phone call. Still she doesnt answer any texts or phone calls. I've probably sent 50+ text messages apologizing. I'm insane I know. I just want to fix it before she does something stupid like get drunk and go out with another guy because she was upset (which she's done before). I hate my life when things get like this. Edited March 5, 2018 by lostanddestroyed Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 Honestly I don't know. I'm attached and codependent. Outside of the relationship, I'm completely independent. I run my own business and take in a great income. I'm a fully functioning adult. But I'm completely emotionally dependent on this person. My world feels like it would end should something happen to us. So I let her do what she wants. Get professional counseling today. This is completely unbalanced and unhealthy for you. Link to post Share on other sites
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