LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > General > General Relationship Discussion

Are there any situations in which it would EVER be okay to lie to your S.O.?


General Relationship Discussion Everything else under the sun. Not sure where to post? This is the place!

Like Tree35Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 8th February 2018, 1:17 PM   #1
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Phoenix AZ
Posts: 678
Are there any situations in which it would EVER be okay to lie to your S.O.?

Most people I think would agree that honesty is usually the best policy. But are there any situations in which it would be okay or even beneficial to not be truthful to your spouse? I can't think of any thus far, except maybe disclosing the truth so they wouldn't get hurt or killed or something. Can't think of anything else other than that.
__________________
One man's honest is another's disrespectful.
ZayKayWill is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th February 2018, 1:20 PM   #2
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,723
I guess try to think of a situation in which you would be comfortable with your SO lying to you and maybe that answer could apply to your question.
LivingWaterPlease is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th February 2018, 1:22 PM   #3
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Phoenix AZ
Posts: 678
Hey Cookies. You never made space in your mailbox. I wanted to share some stuff with you. Have you heard of Jordan Peterson by any chance?
ZayKayWill is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th February 2018, 1:22 PM   #4
Established Member
 
GorillaTheater's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 9,612
While you never, ever want to lie to your SO, there may be some times when redirection is in order:


"Do these jeans make my ass look big?"


The correct response is always: "Baby, those jeans would look best around your ankles."
GorillaTheater is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th February 2018, 1:27 PM   #5
Established Member
 
CptInsano's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: South of Lake Erie
Posts: 1,585
I wouldn't say to lie but to omit. Sometimes it is better to let certain things remain in the past or to focus on the positive.
__________________
"The Durango-95 purred away real horrorshow." - Alex
CptInsano is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th February 2018, 2:10 PM   #6
Established Member
 
Jj66's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: East of Eden
Posts: 1,085
A: I am too honest.
B: I don't see how that is a possible.
A: I don't give a **** what you think!

Q.E.D.

You absolutely can be too honest. I am not advocating becoming a liar but at least feign a little interest in the bauble she is so excited about.
__________________
"It's never too late to be what you might have been."
George Eliot
Jj66 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th February 2018, 2:12 PM   #7
Established Member
 
thefooloftheyear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 9,790
What GT says...

You need to really be careful about telling the truth about appearance types of topics...If you love her and don't want to start a shyt fest, then pick your spots...

A small percentage of women will be inspired by it.....most get crushed..

TFY
__________________
"don't fear the baddest or strongest.....fear the one that never gives up"
thefooloftheyear is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th February 2018, 2:39 PM   #8
Established Member
 
d0nnivain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 26,956
I'm sure I told a few lies to my husband when I was in the middle of planning his surprise 40th birthday party. I know for a fact I lied to him the night I picked his father up from the airport because I told my husband that I would be home late because I had to work late. I consider those acceptable lies.

I also think that if your partner is dumb enough to ask you if they are the best lover you ever had that you should say yes, even if it's not true. Nobody wants to think about their partner being with somebody better.

In all other things, diplomacy is the key -- delivering the truth kindly in a productive manner.

Last edited by d0nnivain; 8th February 2018 at 2:44 PM..
d0nnivain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th February 2018, 3:05 PM   #9
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Phoenix AZ
Posts: 678
Quote:
Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
I'm sure I told a few lies to my husband when I was in the middle of planning his surprise 40th birthday party. I know for a fact I lied to him the night I picked his father up from the airport because I told my husband that I would be home late because I had to work late. I consider those acceptable lies.

I also think that if your partner is dumb enough to ask you if they are the best lover you ever had that you should say yes, even if it's not true. Nobody wants to think about their partner being with somebody better.

In all other things, diplomacy is the key -- delivering the truth kindly in a productive manner.


Eh. I mean what is 'better'? Obviously there are going to be some things that are automatic red flags that would make just anyone with these traits undatable, but it all comes down to compatibility. Doesn't matter how rich, smart, or good looking somebody is. Hell, it doesn't even matter how kind somebody is. It ALL comes down to compatibility.
ZayKayWill is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th February 2018, 4:37 PM   #10
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: east coast
Posts: 7,177
Quote:
Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
I also think that if your partner is dumb enough to ask you if they are the best lover you ever had that you should say yes, even if it's not true. Nobody wants to think about their partner being with somebody better.
Truth! Can you imagine being absolutely honest there? "No honey, you're far from the best. Maybe like...10th best? On a good day."
enigma32 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th February 2018, 4:46 PM   #11
Established Member
 
Michelle ma Belle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,904
Quote:
Originally Posted by GorillaTheater View Post
While you never, ever want to lie to your SO, there may be some times when redirection is in order:


"Do these jeans make my ass look big?"


The correct response is always: "Baby, those jeans would look best around your ankles."


I'm all about honesty and transparency but even I agree there are definitely times and situations where white lies are not only perfectly acceptable but healthy.

I'm horrible at hiding and/or lying about big stuff, important stuff but seem to have no problem with the tiny lies or "redirection" as GT so eloquently explained above.
__________________
"Stupid is as stupid does" - Forrest Gump.
Michelle ma Belle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th February 2018, 7:05 PM   #12
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 57,696
There's a big difference about white lies that can prevent a problem/shi.tstorm vs a lie that you know is wrong and damaging.
Quote:
I was in the middle of planning his surprise 40th birthday party. I know for a fact I lied to him the night I picked his father up from the airport because I told my husband that I would be home late because I had to work late. I consider those acceptable lies.
Exactly! And I highly doubt he was angry at you for this afterwards.
whichwayisup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th February 2018, 7:30 PM   #13
Established Member
 
central's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: NW Florida
Posts: 3,077
If telling the truth would put you in danger, or could result in some other significant harm, then yes, lying is justified. Give yourself the time needed by doing so, in order to get out of such a relationship with minimal harm.
central is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th February 2018, 7:42 PM   #14
Established Member
 
Happy Lemming's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Sunny Southwest
Posts: 455
My theory on lying is the person telling the lie is afraid of something or some action by their significant other.

I really don't fear any action or consequence from my significant other, so there is no reason to lie.

As a side note, if my girlfriend ever asked me if she looked fat in a pair of jeans, I would respond that she would look better in that sun dress hanging in her closet.
__________________
All of my posts are my opinion based on my own experiences. Feel Free to disagree with me, this rodent has thick skin.
Happy Lemming is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th February 2018, 4:36 AM   #15
Established Member
 
PegNosePete's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 9,136
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZayKayWill View Post
I can't think of any thus far
Planning a surprise birthday party / anniversary / trip.
__________________
"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."
-- Douglas Adams
PegNosePete is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Anyone been in situations like this? BHFN Long-Distance Relationships 3 11th April 2017 5:12 PM
Are these situations okay? Whatitistoburn Marriage & Life Partnerships 18 11th July 2015 9:34 PM
FWB situations RachR88 Dating 3 9th December 2014 12:58 PM
The situations I always get into SJC2008 Dating 1 28th December 2011 10:07 PM
Asking me and her to not go into bad situations too much to ask? Hiddennight Dating 0 15th September 2010 1:25 AM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 2:12 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.