Men who do OLD, what's your match rate?

[Cookiesandough]

Hi. Are there any men who do OLD here that are willing to share what they think their approximate 'rating' is and how often they get matched on dating apps per swipes, how many responses they get per messages sent out, and/or how often they get receive a first message from a woman? Ty

Edited January 26, 2018 by Cookiesandough

[ZayKayWill]

Hah. I love participating in your topics

 

 

Online dating for me has been an absolute bust. No matter what platform I use...POF, Tinder, Bumble, anything. The thing is, I'll match with so many girls on Tinder. In the maybe 3 years that I've been using it I've matched with maybe 70 girls and talked to almost all of them, but we literally never end up meeting, EVEN when we have a good conversation going.

 

 

I'm pretty sure it's not me, either. I'm a fairly good looking dude (or so girls say), I'm pretty good with words...idk. I guess I just haven't gotten lucky. But yeah, it almost never works for me. I much rather just go to the bar or some other kind of social event to meet girls. A lot easier and a lot less stressful. Although a lot of people consider OLD the way to go since it makes it somewhat easier to get to know the person before meeting up in person and getting serious...

[Cookiesandough]

Hah. I love participating in your topics

 

 

Online dating for me has been an absolute bust. No matter what platform I use...POF, Tinder, Bumble, anything. The thing is, I'll match with so many girls on Tinder. In the maybe 3 years that I've been using it I've matched with maybe 70 girls and talked to almost all of them, but we literally never end up meeting, EVEN when we have a good conversation going.

 

 

I'm pretty sure it's not me, either. I'm a fairly good looking dude (or so girls say), I'm pretty good with words...idk. I guess I just haven't gotten lucky. But yeah, it almost never works for me. I much rather just go to the bar or some other kind of social event to meet girls. A lot easier and a lot less stressful. Although a lot of people consider OLD the way to go since it makes it somewhat easier to get to know the person before meeting up in person and getting serious...

 

Hhaha thanks. I like yours too! I guess I should have just titled this "The bleakest thread ever" lol I've heard so many stories of really attractive men have 0 luck online for the weirdest reason. But then I hear guys say they're pretty average and have luck so I'm just super confused. What gives?! I'll never get it. I think guy's are going to be too modest for this topic But thanks for your insight into the male side of things

[ZayKayWill]

Honestly...when it comes to online dating, the woman is pretty much entirely in control from what I can see. Think about it. If you're a woman on a dating platform, yet alone an attractive woman...you are going to have guys messaging you. Regardless. I've done some research on all this and it's not uncommon for the very 'objectively' good looking girls to be getting hundreds of messages a day. It makes it REALLY REALLY hard for us guys to stand out or appear to be the 'one of a kind' guy that every woman wants.

 

 

Sometimes you get lucky and connect with someone...but again...if a girl has HUNDREDS of guys messaging her a day, it's going to be really hard for any guy to be chosen as special out of that big pool of options...I guess...

[jay1983]

I get plenty of attention when I'm on. Enough women rated me attractive on OKCupid it recalibrated my profile and mostly women with really nice pics came up when I searched. I'm probably a 5 or 6 in reality.

 

Problem wasn't lack of matches, it was that 80% of my matches are just wanting to text or flake out before we first meet.

[ZayKayWill]

I get plenty of attention when I'm on. Enough women rated me attractive on OKCupid it recalibrated my profile and mostly women with really nice pics came up when I searched. I'm probably a 5 or 6 in reality.

 

Problem wasn't lack of matches, it was that 80% of my matches are just wanting to text or flake out before we first meet.

 

 

 

I don't get why girls do this at all whatsoever. They just wanna talk for a few minutes then that's it? Wtf. Lol

[Shining One]

I'm not sure how to rate myself physically. Women who are open to and interested in dating Indian men rate me well. Of course, the majority of women here don't date Indian men at all, so they would rate me a 0.

 

I primarily used Match and had little experience with other dating sites. I did use PlentyofFish and OKCupid briefly alongside Match for a couple of months. My response rate was around 1%. I received 3 initial messages from women over 3 years.

[jay1983]

I don't get why girls do this at all whatsoever. They just wanna talk for a few minutes then that's it? Wtf. Lol

 

I spend hours dealing them. Everyday, someone likes you, someone messaged, you matched with so and so. I go look at their profile and comment about something, wait for a reply. It makes the app unusable.

[gbe2015]

Actually I do pretty good on Eharmony. I get lots of smiles, I send a message and it usually always ends up in a meetup. I've had a few turn into something long term but for the most part I usually move on after 1 or 2 dates (I'm picky).

But lately the entire process has started to wear on me .. I'm going on my 5th date with a girl this weekend but tbh I'm doubtful we will make it to 6 .. this one is basically a perfect match for me and we have everything in common but some reason it's not working out and I don't know why .. I've been debating cancelling the date all together. If this one doesn't work I'm taking a break for a few months. I've tried POF, match etc but EHarmony is the only one that works well for me.

 

Only thing I liked about POF was it was high traffic so I changed up my pictures/profile alot to see what worked and then used that on EHarmony (EH women tend tend to be higher class/more educated than POF women). POF is the Walmart of online dating A picture I thought was great got nothing and one that I thought was ok got lots of attention.

Edited January 26, 2018 by gbe2015

[SevenCity]

I would estimate approximately a 1% "success" rate. Meaning for every 100 women I swipe right on, I'll sleep with 1 of them. Could be even less as I mindlessly swipe like its a game with now the only thought being "I'd probably bang her". I've given up on finding anything of substance on old and don't bother reading the profiles.

 

The amount of flakes and time wasters is amazing. I'll give a fresh example from Bumble last night with a 38 year old chick who was "obsessed with her dog":

 

Her: cute dog. Mine is X lbs

Me: Thanks! Yours is adorable as well. I love at pic where he is on X. Glad to know I'm not the only one who buys clothes for my dog

Her: How old. (Notice the lack of a question mark - too much trouble I guess?)

Me: She's X. So what made you get into X career? (I'm losing interest here due to her responses)

Her: I don't know. I needed to do something I guess. (Wow, what a go getter)

Me: Well remind me never to call you if I need an X! . I'm headed to bed now but I'd love to meet for a drink. When are you free? (I didn't want to, but figured maybe she'd be better in person, and she was bangable which again is what OLD seems to be good for)

Her: Ok. Good night.

Me: *Unmatched her*

 

I would LOVE for someone to explain this behavior. On Bumble, the woman has to reach out first. Why would you reach out if you have zero interest? Surely it's not to give lame replies to a convo you don't want to be part of?

 

Though hers was one of the better openers. Usually I get "Hi". Yea, lot of trouble to use my name....

[alphamale]

Hi. Are there any men who do OLD here that are willing to share what they think their approximate 'rating' is and how often they get matched on dating apps per swipes, how many responses they get per messages sent out, and/or how often they get receive a first message from a woman? Ty

 

Like I've said many times, OLD is a waste of time for most people

[Mrin]

Sure thing.

 

Physically I am probably an 8. It is hard to put a rating on physical looks for dudes because what women find attractive varies so much from woman to woman. I'm in my 40's. 5'10". Muscular and athletic build. Outdoorsy. Beard. I will admit I have a great smile.

 

On paper I've been told I'm a 9 or a 10 if you're good with a single father. Lots of advanced degrees. A desirable profession. Well traveled. Well read. Desirable interests. A funny profile.

 

I didn't use Tinder much but when I did I think I probably matched 10% of the time. I was pretty particular though on who I swiped right.

 

On Match I probably had a response rate of ~25%, which I think it probably above the norm. A few things:

 

1. I was very particular on who I messaged

2. I figured out a trick to only message women who were active on Match. More than happy to share if anyone is interested

3. I know how to write a good opening email

4. I've been told I fall into two categories with women: a) the grown assed man and b) the "he would be interesting to meet" categories

 

With Tinder, very few matches went anywhere. But with Match, I'd say 50% went to a first date and that was largely, if not exclusively, by my choice. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever been turned down when I asked a Match match to meet up.

 

OLD worked very well for me. I used to joke that it was like an ATM for dates. Despite the impression I gave above that I am some sort of catch or something... that really wasn't the secret to my OLD success. I think it really boiled down to a few things:

 

- I know how to make good conversation on the phone, in text, in email or in person. When it comes to "seducing" a woman of quality, it all starts with her mind. Talk to her. Listen to her. Ask questions. Remember things. Get to know her. Be funny and make her laugh. Be serious and make her think. Be of substance. Make the time you spend together extraordinary. Look, a woman can get dates from men very easily. Time and effort are her precious resources. She can choose to spend them with you or ten other guys blowing up her inbox. Give her a reason to spend them with you.

 

- Be consistent and responsive. Not in an over eager sort of way but when I was interested in a woman, she knew it.

 

- Ask for the date. Again, she is on a dating site to meet men, not be pen pals. After the appropriate amount of time (usually 1-3 days), I'd ask her out.

 

I hope this helps!

[Chilli]

l dunno much about it as some will know. Short stint this time and l've been seeing someone since , last time, few mths.

Met some nice ladies the first time but no one l would've normally have gone for in RL.

Damn hard to tell that on a date site sometimes though.

 

Any rate, this time , can't remember that other time, yrs ago. But l get a lot of matches, l don't understand the match thing or what your suppose to do with them but l never like them so l just leave it.

 

A bad example because women l'd go for are very rare on a date site if at all

So there's no point in dozens of emails, but l found 2 or 3 and liked them, two got back to me and l;m off it now and spending time with the one l really wanted but not sure how it's gonna go. l certainly feel all the right stuff but she's not all that ready and wants things very slow.

 

Had some emails from others though. Some were older, others more my age range and weren't too bad really but just not my thing.

 

l didnt put a photo up, only someone l contact can see my pics, on private.

Edited January 27, 2018 by Chilli

[Chilli]

ln saying that , in all fairness too it only makes sense that the few l contact would get back to me because l'm looking for someone like her and her like me- both unusual so logically you would just expect it yaknow.

[nospam99]

As usual, I feel like the OLD outlier here on LS. To me, eharmony and elitesingles are just worthless. Someone picking FOR me sux and neither of those sites can even find women consistantly within my distance (15 miles) and age (+/- 10 years) criteria. Ourtime provides no tools to estimate match or compatibility.

 

More on target to the OP question, I must qualify that I am 63 and dealing with POF, OKC, and Match, all of which have large participation and provide tools to allow me to rank compatibility. I rate myself at a 5 among the general population of men but may be as high as an 8 or 9 in my age cadre. I am selective about the women I choose to contact. I don't keep score so my next response is an estimate. I get a 40-50% response rate to my own messages. Because I often message just to be friendly, I don't ask all the women I message to meet. I don't recall I've ever been turned down for a meeting. I consistently get Meet Me's on POF and Likes on OKC and Match.

 

I also get many unsolicited contacts. Sadly almost all my unsolicited contacts are GUD (geographically undesirable - thanks to the poster who provided the jargon) or physically undesirable (confirming LS observation that OLD makes undesirable woman take the usual male role of the pursuer). I also get plenty of unsolicited contacts that appear to be romance scams (especially on Ourtime) or escort marketing.

[Shining One]

I tried eHarmony once... many years ago. After filling out all of their data fields, the site informed me that they were unable to match me at this time.

[jay1983]

I tried eHarmony too and didn't get but one woman message me first. Not a message but a site match questioner for me to fill out in order to be able to message her. I sent out the same questioner to 5 or 6 other women to see if they were interested, but got no reply. There was only about dozen women the site would let attempt to initiate a convo with.

 

I think eHarmony is a little too conservative.

[OneLov]

Not sure my rating. I have a few photos in my album—you can judge. I’m tall and physically fit, so I’ve never had an issue with attracting women.

 

I’ve had success with OLD; I also haven’t had any issues in meeting chicks in the meat space either. I’ve had women message me first and approach me IRL too.

 

I think my greatest success (aside my devilish charm lol) is my ability to make girls laugh. A close second is my ability to hold interesting conversation. My greatest passion in life is learning, so I’m genuinely interested in getting to know and understand her mind. I can discuss (in some depth) from Schrödinger’s Cat to schematics of forced-air furnaces. Being an attorney, I feel my job encourages wearing many hats.

 

My true passion in life is music. I can play three instruments and have a decent vocal range. Another thing that always scored me points was being able to dance. IME, chicks dig that. If anything I learned, you score the most points not being afraid to putting yourself out there and being genuine—no gimmicks or front with that red pill “we don’t love dem h*es” attitude.

 

I guess to answer your question, I’ve had success with OLD but also in the meat space. I tend to gravitate to face-to-face contact, but I’m by no means a hater of OLD. I think both have advantages and disadvantages.

Edited January 27, 2018 by OneLov

[Mrin]

Oh, forgot one thing. I didn't mind it at all when a woman contacted me first. Unless it was just the ubiquitous "Hi!", any woman that took the time to contact me first would get a reply.

 

Most women that contacted me first I hadn't seen before on Match - for one filter or another. So it was always great when they did or else I wouldn't have even known they existed.

[central]

Hi. Are there any men who do OLD here that are willing to share what they think their approximate 'rating' is and how often they get matched on dating apps per swipes, how many responses they get per messages sent out, and/or how often they get receive a first message from a woman? Ty

 

I will guess at my rating being about a 7. I don't use the apps, but still use OLD sites, mostly match in the past, now OKC.

 

I do not send messages out first; after trying that early on with no response, I stopped initiating (except perhaps a dozen times). Since then, I've received over 1200 first messages. From those conversations, I've met about 60 that I thought I'd like, and dated about 20 of those beyond the first meeting. The vast majority were concentrated within a 2 year period when I was most actively dating.

[Chilli]

Shyt ,you were a busy man. C.

 

ps ,l'm pretty sure l didn't fill the match form out much that'sthe only reason they were sending me so many , so from their end it was easy to find me matches , they were just sending me anyone. .

Edited January 27, 2018 by Chilli

[Sbla22]

I did an experiment that I'm not too proud of but I just had to know.

 

I met my last gf on POF. We went out for 5 months before it was clear it wasn't working.

 

I would say she was a 6/10 in real life but on photos or when she made a real effort she looked easily an 8 or more.

 

So last week I made a profile on POF pretending to be her. Used 3 photos from her Facebook. Filled all the info in etc

 

I had 25 messages a day and at least 30 people that viewed my profile a day.

 

When I myself use POF (26 year old male. Probably a 6/10 too) I get maybe 2 messages a WEEK if I'm lucky. Both of which I made first contact. No one ever even views my profile. It's very rare.

 

This experiment has deflated me so much. Seems so unfair. It sort of explains why a lot of girls don't ever reply - how can they reply to 20 guys plus a day? Not possible.

[lovephule]

I did an experiment that I'm not too proud of but I just had to know.

 

I met my last gf on POF. We went out for 5 months before it was clear it wasn't working.

 

I would say she was a 6/10 in real life but on photos or when she made a real effort she looked easily an 8 or more.

 

So last week I made a profile on POF pretending to be her. Used 3 photos from her Facebook. Filled all the info in etc

I wouldn't hold it against her if she cheerfully ruined your life for doing this. Not that she's likely to find out.

[alphamale]

I did an experiment that I'm not too proud of but I just had to know.

 

I met my last gf on POF. We went out for 5 months before it was clear it wasn't working.

 

I would say she was a 6/10 in real life but on photos or when she made a real effort she looked easily an 8 or more.

 

So last week I made a profile on POF pretending to be her. Used 3 photos from her Facebook. Filled all the info in etc

 

I had 25 messages a day and at least 30 people that viewed my profile a day.

 

When I myself use POF (26 year old male. Probably a 6/10 too) I get maybe 2 messages a WEEK if I'm lucky. Both of which I made first contact. No one ever even views my profile. It's very rare.

 

This experiment has deflated me so much. Seems so unfair. It sort of explains why a lot of girls don't ever reply - how can they reply to 20 guys plus a day? Not possible.

 

I did the same thing but in reverse a long time ago. I cut and pasted a pic of a greek god/model type into a fake profile on match.com. He was getting more than 100 messages/likes/views per day from all sorts of women. It was hilarious...

Edited January 27, 2018 by alphamale

[Shanex]

Hola, Cookies. Let's see. After some honest self-reflection, I would say that my physical rating is probably a 5, maybe a 6, tops.

 

My response rate per message was rather low when I used OLD last. Maybe 1 out of 8 or 10 at first, but after learning a bit more about how OLD works, I was able to bump that up to 1 out of 4. Guesstimates, of course.

 

It was pretty rare that a woman sent me a message first. Most of the ones who did send me a message were, and I hate to really say this about people, but they were probably 1's and 2's. Like, one huge woman, 15 years older than me, with short-cropped hair that was dyed baby blue with her gray roots showing. That is an actual example. Occasionally an average looking girl would message me first but there were only a couple of those in the 6 months or so that I used OLD. One of those girls ghosted on me when we were supposed to meet, the other turned into a date.

 

Same here. I have a decent ratio of women replying within my League on all account. I'm not a 10, but apparently cute enough to land relationships every now and then and go on dates. Obviously the most important thing being an interesting person.

 

I also agree and like you I hate to be mean but the very rare women who message me first are... well yes not very attractive, much older etc.

 

Beside the occasional catfish which I put back in the water (block) its still up to the guy nowadays to initiate and create a spark if possible.

 

So, women within my League reply 1 in 3 maybe. Sometimes more or less. I'm not doing too bad yet Ive lost count on the number who faded away after exchanging numbers.