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Does anyone have some helpful thoughts or ideas on how to be relaxed and confident when meeting a guy for the first time if you don't have a pretty face, aren't very confident and are shy. That was a long sentence..

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First confidence is not instantaneous. You need to work on your self esteem over all.

 

 

Second stop putting yourself down. While you may not be the face of the next cosmetics brand, do what you can to highlight your best features. Stop saying you don't have a pretty face. However if you are really not thrilled about your face, highlight the parts of your body you do like.

 

 

Third, become witty & interesting. If you can smile & carry on a conversation that will get you farther then superficial looks which will fade over time.

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If you convince yourself you are hot then you will start acting like you're hot, and you will convince people you are hot.

 

I am a petite brunette like many others. My best friend is a tall blond with blue eyes. You'd think she gets all the attention? but no, I do, because the little bit I have I rock it and I believe in it, and that's attractive to men. When I enter a place I got my chin up and smile like I own the place.

 

Start believing in yourself!

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Happy Lemming

I'm a guy, but prior to a first date, I do some research on current events...

 

(Nothing Political) Preferably some local feel good stories. That way if the conversation starts to take a lull, I have some backup topics ready to go. Having a plan, even for dating conversation helps me with my confidence.

 

The more first dates you go on the more confident you'll feel... Doing it more and takes its power away.

 

Nothing to fear, but fear itself... - Franklin D. Roosevelt

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set up your meeting at the bar/pub. get there a little early and have a drink or two before he is scheduled to show up. that should help you relax.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I think confidence will take you a long way. If you don't believe in yourself, how can anyone else? but like others have said, it's self-esteem. You build self-esteem, when you're not lucky enough to have been raised with it, by your accomplishments, so be active and accomplish your goals and feel good about your progress. Don't ever put yourself down out loud. All it does is make you look kind of pathetic and if you think you're nothing, it will lower the estimation of some others. So don't ever self-deprecate like that. Do things you can be proud of. Your face and body aren't all of you and besides there's someone out there the same attractiveness as you who will think you're beautiful.

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nobody really cares about a womans confidence, not just in dating but even in life, business, career, etc.

 

Care to give some examples?

 

As a woman who works in a male dominated field (commercial real estate / law) I can assure you confidence is vital for professional success.

 

What industry do you work in that allows you to make such a blanket statement?

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