FilterCoffee Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 Let me start off by wishing everyone a very a happy and prosperous new year. The first time i heard the phrase was on LS and I’ve seen it being used in a couple of posts. When I did a search on google it directed me to a book called The Five Love Languages which describes them as gift giving, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service and physical touch. To those who are familiar with its usage, are you referring to these 5 languages? What does this phrase mean to you? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 People express and acknowledge love in different ways. Basically it means our brains are unique and individual as is the matrix of our socialization and personality development. The book sought to segregate such complexities into normative groups. My best example from my generation is the guy's wife who laments he never tells her he loves her and the guy, nonplussed, opines he's home every night, gives her his paycheck every week and takes the kids out on the weekends. Of course he loves her. She wanted to hear it. He showed it through his actions. Different languages. Equally valid to the two partners. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FilterCoffee Posted January 2, 2018 Author Share Posted January 2, 2018 Ah, so it’s what a person considers an expression of love? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 Imagine learning some words of a foreign language which prior was just gibberish. New understanding can occur. Some people go their whole lives only knowing and wishing to know one language (to hear, speak, read). Others seek out understanding of multiple languages. It can be the same with love. I recall when the suits magically appeared each morning with the shirts freshly pressed and a matching tie laid out and coffee on the table. Mom wasn't big on words but acts of service was primary love language for her. Dad understood that. IME, the important thing is the partners getting each other, even if one is showing love in one language and the other shows it differently. If they understand and value those disparate languages, things go well in that regard. If they don't get each other, it's like me speaking English and you Japanese and neither of us knowing or wanting to know the other's language. Total miss. That's my take from my brief read of the book years ago. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 Let me start off by wishing everyone a very a happy and prosperous new year. The first time i heard the phrase was on LS and I’ve seen it being used in a couple of posts. When I did a search on google it directed me to a book called The Five Love Languages which describes them as gift giving, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service and physical touch. To those who are familiar with its usage, are you referring to these 5 languages? What does this phrase mean to you? Yes, this is what I refer to (this book) if/when I ever talk about it, and I think it's generally what people mean since it's a pretty popular book. My ex-H and I listened to this book (on cassette tape! ) many moons ago. It's good for couples to learn the love language of their partner. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FilterCoffee Posted January 2, 2018 Author Share Posted January 2, 2018 Thanks for the replies. Going by the above explanations, I think there was big mismatch in the love languages my ex I employed. I showed my love through, cooking, foot rubs and just being there whereas she wanted to hear the love from me. I did tell her how much I cared but for whatever reason it wasn’t registering. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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