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I might have been drugged?


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Old 2nd January 2018, 2:43 AM   #1
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I might have been drugged?

I just want to start by saying I have absolutely no solid evidence of this, but something happened recently that is very much out of character for me, and I have a gut suspicion that drugs may have been involved. I have recall of the night, but I donít recall having any stop button so things went way further that I otherwise would have let them. My best friend, who was involved in our misadventure along with her husband, describes the same thing. She also has a recollection of being there but of not being in control. She doesnít believe it was drugs and thinks it was just the alcohol. I have been drunk before and acted like a fool, but Iíve always felt Iíve had at least a little control.

My husband swears that he thinks I was acting normally, not even too drunk, and what happened was all at my instigation, and other friends who were at the party before we left suggest that he is right. But this is not me. And if I was ever going to do it, it would never be with my best friend, and certainly not her husband. Although our relationship seems to still be strong so far, so thatís a good thing, Iíve known her since we were 6.

But here we are. There is no doubt it happened, thereís a few photoís of her and I kissing, and people from the party say they saw us sneaking a kiss too. I feel dirty. I feel like I cheated. I feel like my husband cheated on me. Everyone else seems ok with it and even say that if the time and place was ever right again that they would be open to the idea. Itís hard to hear my best friend tell me that she would be happy to sleep with my husband again, not to mention with me!! I canít be angry with her because what everyone is telling me is that it all came from me.

I was going to do a toxicology test (is that what itís called?) to check for drugs in my system, but this happened just over a month ago now, so I donít think thereís any point. This seems to be all my fault, at my insistence, but Iím the only one worried by what has happened. I guess no more drinking for me, I donít want this to happen again.

How do you deal with something like this? How do you face all those friends from the party who, while they might not know for a fact, have a pretty good idea of what happened. How do I look at my best friend the same again? And her husband!! And my husband!!!!! And myself in the mirror!!!!!!!!! This is a mess.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 2:49 AM   #2
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Cut them out of your life. They aren't friends, especially if they drugged you to sleep with them and for them to have sex with your husband (or her to have sex with your husband). Either way nothing will ever be the same.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 2:55 AM   #3
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Oh yeah, no doubt. If I was drugged whoever knew is gone. But I can't prove that. What if it was just alcohol? That means it was all me.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 3:05 AM   #4
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I agree with WWIU, stay away from these people from now on.

If you go to a party, take your own drinks and only accept a drink from someone else from a bottle/can that you have seen opened in front of you. Keep your drink with you at all times and if you want to put it down to dance etc then don't drink from it again.

None of this is your fault.

This "friend" is no friend to you. It sounds to me like she wanted to have sex with your husband and they engineered all of this to make it happen, then blamed it on you.

Be vigilant, they could be having an affair.

I'm sorry x
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Old 2nd January 2018, 6:07 AM   #5
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I think your husband was in on it.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 9:54 AM   #6
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Thank you for the responses.

I take on board what everyone is saying, but I feel that it's absolving me of any blame. Sure, if the drugging is real then I carry no blame, but if it's not I have to bear that burden. With no way of ever knowing the truth I was sort of working on the premise that there was no drugging, despite my gut feeling.

I'm also very wary of ending a marriage and a lifelong friendship because of my actions when the other parties are at ease with what happened. It's a lot to lose.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 10:08 AM   #7
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I supposed you could have a strand of your hair tested, but I don't think all drugs stay in your system like that so it might not show anything.....

What were you drinking and how much did you have?
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Old 2nd January 2018, 10:27 AM   #8
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Oh, I was quite drunk. I was drinking pretty much whatever was on offer. But never before when I've been drunk have I lost control of my morals. That is why I just have this gut feeling that it was something more. It might not have even been any of the others involved, it could have been someone else at the party that spiked a drink if that's what it was.

I just don't know where to go now. Shutting them all out of my life seems extreme, unless they were responsible. I'm embarrassed by this, I know my husband thinks all his birthdays have come at once, but I can't look at myself the same anymore, let alone him. He's empathised now he knows how upset I am. Empathy is great, but the acts can't be undone. I watched my husband have sex with my best friend, and I did equally as bad. I encouraged it at the time. Now I'm disgusted with him, with her, especially with me. I just wish they were all as equally confused/disgusted/hurt by what happened as I am. It would be so much easier to deal with.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 10:30 AM   #9
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Who brought drinks to you? Do you remember leaving the party?

Did you have something to drink after you left the party?
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Old 2nd January 2018, 10:44 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AmandaK View Post
Oh, I was quite drunk. I was drinking pretty much whatever was on offer. But never before when I've been drunk have I lost control of my morals. That is why I just have this gut feeling that it was something more. It might not have even been any of the others involved, it could have been someone else at the party that spiked a drink if that's what it was.

I just don't know where to go now. Shutting them all out of my life seems extreme, unless they were responsible. I'm embarrassed by this, I know my husband thinks all his birthdays have come at once, but I can't look at myself the same anymore, let alone him. He's empathised now he knows how upset I am. Empathy is great, but the acts can't be undone. I watched my husband have sex with my best friend, and I did equally as bad. I encouraged it at the time. Now I'm disgusted with him, with her, especially with me. I just wish they were all as equally confused/disgusted/hurt by what happened as I am. It would be so much easier to deal with.
Hmm.. so you mixed drinks all night and didn't barf or lose control of your ability to stand up straight? That's quite an impressive feat on its own -- let alone a foursome with all hands and feet and tongues dangling.

I don't think drugs stay in your system more than 48 hours.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 10:52 AM   #11
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Everyone bought my drinks. My husband, my best friend, other friends. This was a party with all friends and acquaintances, I didn't feel worried. The only thing I drank after we left was from the hotels mini bar.

I remember the night. I remember kissing my friend. I remember leaving. I knew where we were going. As I said, my moral compass would normally go, no way girl, stop. This time it didn't.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 11:06 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AmandaK View Post
Everyone bought my drinks. My husband, my best friend, other friends. This was a party with all friends and acquaintances, I didn't feel worried. The only thing I drank after we left was from the hotels mini bar.

I remember the night. I remember kissing my friend. I remember leaving. I knew where we were going. As I said, my moral compass would normally go, no way girl, stop. This time it didn't.
It is quite odd that you're conveniently being blamed for initiating it all and not even one of the other three found your behavior out of character enough to stop it, but even encouraged it. Just the fact that all three of them are A-OK with what happened would be enough for me to question all of those relationships.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 11:15 AM   #13
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Fair point. And has been raised with no real answers.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 1:02 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AmandaK View Post
Everyone bought my drinks. My husband, my best friend, other friends. This was a party with all friends and acquaintances, I didn't feel worried. The only thing I drank after we left was from the hotels mini bar.

I remember the night. I remember kissing my friend. I remember leaving. I knew where we were going. As I said, my moral compass would normally go, no way girl, stop. This time it didn't.
If you remember all of it I don't think you were drugged. I just think you got intoxicated and made some poor choices.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 1:18 PM   #15
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AmandaK,

Just a couple of questions and there may be someone on this thread that may have some experience with this, I dont but have heard about this before.

Do you remember anything different with your vision....bright colors, enhanced images etc.?

What you are describing to me sounds a bit like the effects of Xtc....this can create a lack of inhibitions, increased sexuality and reduced decision making capabilities.

Just a thought.

Here is a capture from an article for your reference.

KG

Recent research is showing that the drug ecstasy affects women differently than men. Ecstasy is a synthetic drug and acts a stimulant and a mild hallucinogen.

This drug affects the levels of serotonin; a chemical in the brain. This chemical regulates mood, cognitive functions, and sleep. Users seek out the relaxed and euphoric state, and the heightened feelings of self-acceptance and connection with others.

Ecstasy also produces negative effects like anxiety, depression, and paranoia. With prolonged use, mental functioning and memory difficulties are common.
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