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What do men find attractive


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Old 28th December 2017, 8:42 PM   #16
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So then you do not really disagree with me? Maybe its because I was raised by a single dad who told me I was a bad ass - I don't know, but I have always been in the boys club. I was the only female invited to a bachelor party before.

Pair that with some decent looks - for some men its a very attractive trait. Not for all though - I think some want more ying to their yang. More feminine qualities than I have.
I do and I don't. The pretty face and nice butt is what draws guys in, not your impressive list of shared hobbies. For example, I play Dungeons & Dragons. If you go to your local gaming store, there will be a bunch of dudes, with possibly one exceedingly unattractive female. While it would be cool to have a GF that I could share this hobby with, I won't date the ugly girl, no matter how smart, cool, or funny she is.
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Old 28th December 2017, 8:46 PM   #17
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Okay I agree.... There is too ugly to be over come by personality.

On the other hand it's my personality that allows me to separate myself from the other "average" chicks.

(Oh, and D&D would send me running - goes both ways).
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Old 28th December 2017, 8:50 PM   #18
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Okay I agree.... There is too ugly to be over come by personality.

On the other hand it's my personality that allows me to separate myself from the other "average" chicks.

(Oh, and D&D would send me running - goes both ways).
I had noticed in my earlier years that it had that effect on the ladies I used to lie about my hobbies to get dates. Now, the younger ones don't mind. It's the women in my age bracket and older that do not approve.
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Old 28th December 2017, 8:51 PM   #19
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RC, I feel like we have some things in common, or maybe I just hope we do. lol

I think first it's my ass and possibly an overall womanly shape. (I think a lot of guys are immediately turned off because I'm not skinny, but there are some guys who go crazy over my shape.) But a close second is that I'm friendly, open, and adventurous. I smile and laugh and like people. I'm generous in terms of how accepting I am of all kinds of people. (I don't mean I'll date all kinds of people. I do have a pretty narrow set of traits that I seem to really go for.)

My ex-h was very much about how smart/insightful I was and his identity is all about being super intelligent (he's a law professor and totally has that goofy inept but brilliant prof thing going on). Since we broke up I have tried to get away from all that. I think a lot of the guys I've dated since ex either didn't notice/care that I was bright or have been intimidated by it. I do worry that someday I'm gonna realize I shouldnt have eschewed that whole part of myself.
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Old 28th December 2017, 10:10 PM   #20
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And now you see why men answer that question the way we do. Can't be completely honest when we are asked questions like this.



Your value may very well not be the shape of your butt, but that is likely what makes men want to be with you. Just as so many people on this site like to say, there has to be some attraction. Otherwise, that wonderful mind of yours is just enough to put you firmly in the friendzone.


This is spot on. Iíve dated and met several cool women with common interests, but the attraction was not there so it went no where.

Iíve also dated insanely beautiful women with a lack of common ground, they went no where as well.

From a guyís perspective, you need common interests (doesnít have to be the same hobbies; say you like a woman to cook and she loves to cook, you want someone to dominate and she is submissive, etc). Once those are there most only require the bare minimum level of attraction in her. She doesnít have to be a supermodel, her looks will get better (in your eyes) as you bond.

I recall this one girl I dated earlier this year - she could have been a fitness model (and was well aware of it). After a month with her I couldnít stand her any longer. A woman half as attractive with more of the personality qualities I like would have lasted much longer.
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Old 28th December 2017, 10:24 PM   #21
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I think men like every kind of woman.
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Old 28th December 2017, 10:28 PM   #22
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I think men like every kind of woman.
Not every man likes every kind of woman, but I agree that whatever the woman, thereís a man out there who has to have her.
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Old 28th December 2017, 11:01 PM   #23
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Not every man likes every kind of woman, but I agree that whatever the woman, thereís a man out there who has to have her.
I agree. I don't like using logic when explaining attraction, but I find this works. Not everyone is "conventionally" attractive but almost everyone ends up in a relationship at some point in their lives. Therefore almost everyone is attractive to someone.

I find people who come across as fun and bubbly attractive - but that's rather subjective as everyone's sense of "fun" is different. Which just goes to show how individual everyone is.
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Old 29th December 2017, 12:15 AM   #24
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I think young women are less likely to know what really makes them attractive to men. A casual glance of social media often leaves me feeling many are totally clueless.

Middle age women are usually very clear about what turns men on, but by that age they no longer care. 😄
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Old 29th December 2017, 12:36 AM   #25
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I agree. I don't like using logic when explaining attraction, but I find this works. Not everyone is "conventionally" attractive but almost everyone ends up in a relationship at some point in their lives. Therefore almost everyone is attractive to someone.

I find people who come across as fun and bubbly attractive - but that's rather subjective as everyone's sense of "fun" is different. Which just goes to show how individual everyone is.
Funny, I don’t care for women people find “fun”. Rather I’m attracted to women who are more concerned with responsibility than having a good time. My sister, and friends commented on how much fun this girl I dated was - it was rooted in irresponsibility and a huge turn off for me.

And to clarify my statement, I think what I said was true for women, not for men. Many men can go dateless due to their inability to be attractive to women.
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Old 29th December 2017, 1:18 AM   #26
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I think men like every kind of woman.
I'll comment on this because of having two experiences recently, markedly different ones, where it wasn't 'every' kind of woman and then, one where there was only one woman in the room.

First, the woman everyone loves to love.... tall, lithe, actually worked in the modeling industry nationally until going to medical school. Beautiful lady, warm, friendly, even to an old fart like me. Hugging her is like hugging my now departed mother. Nothing. I could spend a month of Sundays trying to work up some male hormonal stuff for her and actually have thought about it since I've known her for a few years but nada. No worries though, she's married to an equally beautiful man

Then there's the friend.... same result but different reason. She's a lesbian. However, even before I knew that, there was nothing. No fire in the loins, no sparkle in the eyes, no buzz in the balls with the polite hugs and kisses and other social niceties. Just a lady a little younger than me who's really a good person and occasionally frustrated with finding a partner. My hugs can't really help her I guess.

Lastly, the eyes across the room, actually the bar area at the local Vets hall. One glance and I wanted to kiss her immediately. Turned out she knew my best friend's wife and actually runs a town, if a lady can run a town. I guess she's probably pushing 70 but had this soft Bohemian look and we just kinda looked at each other and, heh, that was fun. Even my best friend's wife noticed and commented later. Usually I only have eyes for her

So, one out of three. Gray hair and all. Oh, well. There's a lot to be said for remembering a name and I rarely remember a name.

So, what do men find attractive? I guess I'll read the thread and find out. I haven't a clue, rather just feel it if/when it happens. Heh.
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Old 29th December 2017, 1:42 AM   #27
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Funny, I donít care for women people find ďfunĒ. Rather Iím attracted to women who are more concerned with responsibility than having a good time. My sister, and friends commented on how much fun this girl I dated was - it was rooted in irresponsibility and a huge turn off for me.
Like you, I have noticed that the more fun women are also the irresponsible type. While I find the fun ladies to be more attractive, I have learned that the more responsible ones make better partners.
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Old 29th December 2017, 4:13 AM   #28
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This is a trick question.
right
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Old 29th December 2017, 5:37 AM   #29
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As Gaeta said, 7 billion answers and none are right or wrong.

For me, personally, I can only speak for one couple out of billions, and only from what the SO has told me.
- He has a thing for intelligent women, and he loves my mind and my curiosity about the universe around us
- He likes that we have several interests in common, a few of which are usually male-dominated
- He likes the sex we have
- He likes how we have still been able to talk and laugh for hours on end, so many years after we first got together

(Verbal compliments are clearly not his forte, haha!)
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Old 29th December 2017, 6:41 AM   #30
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Pair that with some decent looks - for some men its a very attractive trait. Not for all though - I think some want more ying to their yang. More feminine qualities than I have.

I am one of those sapiosexual men who is primarily attracted to a woman's mind, and yes you're right about needing some physical attraction as well. I don't need conventionally attractive.

I think the need for physical attraction is biological, and the need for intelligence is probably from social learning, parents and upbringing, plus the experiences I've had with women over the years.

I like a tomboyish woman (in a certain way) who can hold her own in a group of guys, but if she has primarily masculine energy it won't work––she needs to have decidedly feminine energy and be attracted to refined masculine energy (not the coarse, macho man variety).

When it's time to be intimate, I definitely want her to be the yen for my yang. In day-to-day interactions, I want her to have an opinion of her own and to be able to stand toe to toe. Being good with language and able to support a position with a rational argument is attractive. Emotional reasoning, standing on a whackadoodle argument, with false confidence is not. She should be open to discussion and able to see (willing to acknowledge) various sides of multifaceted issues.

No wonder it's so hard for me to find someone. I wish I could get over the physical attraction part––I live in a place that produces advanced degrees by the thousands. If I didn't need a certain amount of physical attraction, and a certain kind of feminine energy, I would have so many options available. But it is what it is and there's no point in denying it.
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