Guy I met once months ago is harassing me, I am really scared?

[Lovehel]

I met this guy once, it was a really stupid decision, and it was not enjoyable. He lived hours away I talked to him online for weeks, it was after I went through a horrible break up and I was lonely pretty much, so the idea of meeting this guy seemed cool, he never once brought up sex or anything like that, and I was excited to meet him and go sight seeing for the day, that was the whole idea to have fun for the day and see things for the first time. Anyway it slowly got stranger and stranger when he kept making excuses and not paying for anything and just kept drinking more and more etc...he ended up going back and I texted him to be polite, and he kept asking me to go visit him so he could show me around his city, I kept putting it off because I didn't have a good time with him, all he did was complain about his life, people who were his "friends" that he had to drop etc...told me stories of him stealing stuff, and kept reminding me of this a few times with these weird stories and then going remember when I told you that I was like a scorpion and if someone hurt me that I was relentless and made sure they got stung really badly back that they would regret ever hurting me, that freaked me out really badly and I stayed in polite contact texts here and there just so he wouldn't feel hurt cause I was scared after what he said. He kept saying weird stuff like we had this deep connection and it would be a pity to lose it etc...which we didn't anyway I haven't used whatsapp on my phone for about a month now, until I kept getting notifications of missed calls from him. This was the jist of what I saw when I opened the chat.

 

07/11/2017

 

You lost interest or just busy with exam ****? usually the latter when the girl you like doesn't reply.

 

08/11/2017

 

I am struggling, wish I could have your comfrot at a time like this.

 

11/11/2017

 

K then I guess that is it.

 

20/11/2017

 

where are you?

 

22/11/2017

 

...

 

23/11/2017

 

2 missed voice calls.

 

24/11/2017

 

1 missed voice call.

 

25/11/2017

 

oi you ditched this number

 

26/11/2017

 

**** it. I assume you met someone else. Gutted I will never see you again, after connecting so well. My number is this incase you have a change of heart

 

07/12/2017

 

I will be moving back next week. talk?

 

08/12/2017

 

4 missed voice calls 2 hours apart.

 

10/12/2017

 

**** sake why are you not answering. 2 missed calls.

 

By the way after I met him I told him I didn't want to be anything more than friends.

 

There were even more calls he made on facebook to me. I ended up blocking him on both whatsapp and facebook.

 

I am getting freaked out now again.I just got a new friend request that says his name I am going to say it cause I don't care anymore. The new request says: Emile Newfbook. He made a new blank facebook to add me? what on earth?

 

Some people told me to unblock him so I can see if he threatens to come to my city or road, it was so stupid of me but he owed me about 50 euro from food that day when he kept making excuses not to pay I gave him my account info to transfer to my account, he kept making it so difficult sending me snapshots saying now his bank is asking for my address, I didn't like him or trust him but didn't think he was a stalker, so gave the name of the road but not the house number, now I regret that very much. If I knew he would harass me and scare me later on I would have forgotten the money, at the time I was determined to be paid back.

 

I was having trouble sleeping lastnight imagining him standing outside on my street or harming a family member or breaking in to my house. I was thinking of telling him this story just in case he has any plan of trying to find me or come to my road, what do you think?

 

I am going to unblock him and act like there is something wrong with me type of thing and say the last month I haven't talked to anyone that my parents divorce went through, the house was forced to be sold and I'm living in a cramp apartment with my sister and her boyfriend it's really cramped something like that. Then I am going to say for the past month I knew I needed a drastic change planned what I am about to do that I am going to go to Peru on a volunteering trip that lasts 2 or 3 months and might travel around there for longer if I can earn some type of money and will be leaving in a few days and that it will be tough cause I will just have my camera and a few clothes but am excited?

 

do you think I should unblock him and do this?

[Scarlett.O'hara]

I would strongly advise you not to communicate with him at all.

 

If you unblock him and start talking to him, you are asking for trouble. He will take it as a sign of interest and it will continue to try and manipulate you.

 

Forget about the money and prioritize your safety.

 

If he continues to harass you or you feel unsafe, contact the police.

[Popsicle]

Block or ignore.

 

I’m sure you’ve learned now to not spend weeks chatting to someone before meeting.

[jjgitties]

block! block! block! dont reply! block! block! dont reply!.... if he shows up.. call cops.

 

the guy is a nut job and psycho..

[stillafool]

If you are afraid of him definitely block him or tell him to stop contacting you. Be strong and stand up for yourself. Don't lie to him just tell him the truth that you don't want to be bothered. Forget the money.

[jjgitties]

OP. Don't say nothing and don't interact. There is nothing you can do for him.

 

You have had the unfortunate luck of coming upon a emotionally or mentally messed guy. What you should have done on the date when you noticed you were uncomfortable or that something was off was to either just magically dissappear or make up some like how you forgot you had to do something important and left.

 

Anyways. Now what has happened is he has fixed on you. He is incapable of picking up hits or clues that you are not interested. Any smallest action on your part will just make him think you are interested.

 

You need to stop.all contact and let his mind move on to something else in it's own.

 

These types of people could get violent.

 

If you see him magically appear in your area or you see him stalk you ... Just lie you face off... Grad the closest cop or security guard you see and make up some BS story how hes some guy that shoved or pushed you and is following you. You need to get him off your tail asap.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Agreed. Do NOT unblock! That's exactly what he wants and will take that as a sign you're still open to being with him.

 

I would also gather as much info on the guy that you can and share it and this story with as many people you trust. The more people who know about this guy, the better it will be IF this guy turns out to be a much bigger problem than just someone assaulting your phone with texts.

 

 

I can be an open book but there are some things I never share until I feel it's safe like my address, where I work and even my last name. That decision was a result of my own horrific stalking experiences when I jumped back into dating again after being out-of-commission for 20 years. Some men are perfectly fine with that and respect my decision while others do not. Either way, I'm perfectly fine with it.

 

You can never be too careful when it comes to meeting men online but at the same time, you can't let these men and questionable experiences scare you into hiding either.

 

Take this experience and learn from it so you're a more informed dater.

 

Good luck.

[PegNosePete]

I didn't like him or trust him

after I met him I told him I didn't want to be anything more than friends.

Why on earth would you want to be friends with someone you don't like or trust?

 

Either way, you should keep him BLOCKED and continue to block any new facebook or other attempts to get into contact with you. He's clearly not right in the head, and interacting with him any further will either stress you out even more, or drive him even more crazy. Neither is a good thing.

 

there are some things I never share until I feel it's safe like my address, where I work and even my last name

This is VERY sensible advice. You would be amazed how much information you can drag up about someone, just from their full name, or just first name and place of work, or just first name and street they live on. It's very easy to get a person's full details from just 2 of those data. To prove that point once, when I had just met an ex of mine, I sent her a postcard from my holiday. She had only told me her first name, her brother's first name, and the town they live in. That was enough.

Edited December 11, 2017 by PegNosePete

[d0nnivain]

This is what blocking / ghosting gets you. He may be awful but you have never been clear with him. He still has this misguided hope that there is a still a chance because he misinterpreted your polite responses. In failing to be clear with him, say no thank you & then block you ended up in this quagmire.

 

 

Continuing to block him will cause him to continue chasing you & lumping you in the category of people who he thinks intentionally hurt him who he now wants to hurt like the scorpion.

 

 

I'm not sure how you fix it now, but going forward when you encounter somebody you don't want to see again you need to unequivocally state that. You say, thank you for meeting me but I don't feel like we click. I wish you well but I'm ending contact. It was your failure to be clear & ghost instead that allowed him to create this delusion. Try being clear now & then if he continues to press you, then perhaps you can seek intervention from the authorities.