Navigating Social Media Post Break Up

[endgame246]

Hi all,

First time poster here. My boyfriend, erm ex-boyfriend, and the love of my life recently broke up with me. The break up has been incredibly hard for me as I (and everyone in our lives) thought we were on track to be married. Some brief background on us: We met in college, I am two years older. We've dated for 3.5 almost 4 years stating in his freshman year. So for his entire college experience he was in a committed relationship with me. About two months ago he broke up with me out of no where. He told me that he wasn't sure if we were going to make it the end and feels like he needs to be alone and understand what thats like since he has never been single in his adult life. I should also mention that one of his best friends from high school is a girl. During the breakup he told me that he has developed a crush on her and because of that feels like he needs to be alone to figure out his feelings. I've found out from mutual friends that they hang out all the time now and have slept together, though I am unsure if they are dating, or just having causal meaningless sex. My ex knew that this girl always made me feel uncomfortable even during our relationship so it really hurts that he would go and do this. My ex and I spoke on the phone a couple of weeks ago and in that conversation he told me that he felt like something was missing from our relationship and doesn't see a future for us anymore.

 

Under the advice of my friends (who I know have my best interest at heart) I removed my ex and his sisters and some of his friends from my instagram. My friends believe that by doing this I am shutting another door to this relationship and it will help me move forward with my life. After blocking all these people I felt a great deal of anxiety about this decision. I don't want to perceived as weak or childish for doing this, so I unblocked them all and requested to re-follow the. Two people have accepted my request so far. I re-requested my ex too, but decided to undo that request.

 

A part of me still hopes that my ex will recognize his mistake and come back to me. I am still very much in love with him. I know that this girl he is hanging out with is not "the one" for him. I think he knows that too. But she's familiar and safe for him pursue right now. If that's the case and he does come back to me in a few months or a year and we're happy together then I know everyone I blocked will re-add me and not have hard feelings about it. I guess i wanted to know what you all think about blocking / re-adding people from your ex's life back to your social media accounts. I wish I never blocked them in the first place, but since I don't have a time machine to go back to that moment and change it I need to navigate this new norm.

 

A part of me feels like it was petty for me to do this, and I don't want to be thought of as the petty/crazy ex girlfriend. But my friends say that it's the opposite. They say that my ex broke my heart and that by getting rid of these people from my social media I am showing them that I am strong and that they don't get to be privy to my successes in life anymore. Ugh. I'm just mad at myself for blocking them and getting myself into this position. Any guidance, feedback, advice would be so appreciated.

[Michelle ma Belle]

I think you need to get your head out of the sand, hun.

 

You seem to be in a great deal of denial which isn't helping your 'crazy' ex label.

 

As for you blocking your ex and his friends/family on social media, that WAS the right move. Re-sending friend/follow requests to those same people moments later, is most definitely NOT. The optics of that flip flop won't work in your favor.

 

I get it that you're still in love with him and that his break-up, supposedly out of the blue, is painful but waiting around for a guy who could so easily dispose of you after that many years together and then move on so quickly with someone who he's known forever doesn't look good nor is healthy.

 

Time to move on.

 

Good luck.