My reunion with an ex from long ago

[jojane]

hi. i'm new here but i needed to find out if there are other people out there who had an ex from teen and met back years back when one is available and one is not. If there is than how did you cope with it? I have always thought of him all these years and went back to our hometown to find out from some friends about him. We parted as we both were pursuing school and him with his college. There were never any goodbyes and very few letters in between because of the difficulty in getting in touch with each other (he went to a rural place).

Years later I found him in the social media and it took lots of courage to contact him and reintroduced myself (whom he may have forgotten if I didn't remind him). I told him that I just wanted a closure so that I could really move on from my past. We continue to contact each other and finally got together and fell in love allover with each other again. However, it was never in my plan and so did he. It continued for about half a year and due to distance we communicate through telephone daily and it was good to have someone to talk to. Especially someone who shared so much in the past and as we know the same people and places of the past making it more special and we were getting too close and accepted each other as we were.

The problem is that as much that we don't want to, his wife found out and he had to stop all communication in order to protect me from being exposed to people we knows and also to protect his marriage (for the kids sake). I know that he struggled on his own and it makes me feel bad as it was really my 'unintended mistake' that exposed our relationship. I promised not to get in touch with him in any form until he is ready and I am ready to accept for any result and are still in a loss as to what actually happened. My question is, should i stay on keeping my low profile and slowly move on with my life yet be ready once he settled the source of the problem?

Truthfully, I really can't let go of him the second time after losing him all this years due to circumstances but I have no way to break the promise of not contacting him. Yet I never want to take him away from his family. I am in dilemma and i miss him terribly.

[irresolute]

We'll, he is married with kids, and you should let go of the past and try to find a man that's available for you. A single man that is.

 

You show no remorse for trying to break a marriage, you're just concerned about you and how this impact in your common friends. Don't you see there are children? A wife?

 

You need to reevaluate your values because your behavior is definitely wrong in my book.

[somanymistakes]

Welcome to being an Other Woman. Sucks, doesn't it?

 

It doesn't seem like you've had any kind of physical affair with this man, which is good. However, your close connection counts as an emotional affair.

 

I'm not judging you, I'm in the same boat with my own married ex who is trying to slowly extricate himself from his marriage, slowly enough that most people on the forums don't believe it'll ever happen. The main difference is that mine doesn't have kids and at least claims that he wants to get out of his marriage. Yours, however, seems to want to protect his situation with his wife.

 

Obviously I don't know enough to be sure, but the way you describe it, it doesn't sound like he wants to leave her, it just sounds like he enjoyed your connection and emotional support. Sure, it's possible they might split eventually and he might look you up then, but that could be ten, fifteen years from now. Do you want to put your life on hold for that chance?

 

Getting back in touch with him while he's married IS having an affair, even if it's not a sexual one. If that's not something you want to be part of, you need to stay away. Remember him fondly, but recognise that you two went down different paths. Maybe someday your paths will converge again, maybe not, but it's certainly not now.

 

Or you can decide to devote yourself to waiting by the phone, loyal and lonely, for the rest of your life. Again, not judging you, because I AM RIGHT THERE. But I have reasons for being willing to give up the possibility of any other love life. Do you?