Vanity1 Posted November 23, 2017 Share Posted November 23, 2017 Ive notice that men ( even on these forums) hate the thought of their exes having SEX with someone else. They hate the idea of that even though they may have been the dumpee. Why worry so much about them having sex? Why is everything else ok like kissing other guys, cuddling, dating ect ok?? Like, emotional connection with someone else! Sex is just sex after all...no? What's the logic ? As a wise person told me...." You can't make sense out of none sense ". But what's the deal? Link to post Share on other sites
staggerlee71 Posted November 23, 2017 Share Posted November 23, 2017 there is more to this...your withholding info.. spit it out Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vanity1 Posted November 23, 2017 Author Share Posted November 23, 2017 there is more to this...your withholding info.. spit it out That's it. What's with men caring so much about their ex having sex with someone else oppose to other things??? It's just sex. They should know this, what about the emotional connection. Link to post Share on other sites
staggerlee71 Posted November 23, 2017 Share Posted November 23, 2017 Ahh.got it. so its just sex if you don't care. Sex is love if you do care Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vanity1 Posted November 23, 2017 Author Share Posted November 23, 2017 Ahh.got it. so its just sex if you don't care. Sex is love if you do care I guess for some women ? Link to post Share on other sites
staggerlee71 Posted November 23, 2017 Share Posted November 23, 2017 I don't know you. you know you the question your asking is personal, or rhetorical. at its greatest, sex is a consummation of love, feeling. connection. at its weakest its power, perversion and gratification its your job to decipher between and need Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted November 23, 2017 Share Posted November 23, 2017 Sex is love if you do care I understand that not everyone shares my values. I care. Sex IS love. My direct response to the OP question is that I wouldn't care if an ex had sex with someone else because as an ex love would be .... gone. But the very near thing is a woman who I believed was my 'committed partner' having sex with someone else. Either an EA or an SA would be so hurtful that love would be very badly damaged, perhaps fatally. Link to post Share on other sites
Tribble Posted November 24, 2017 Share Posted November 24, 2017 Can't speak for men (as I'm a woman), but I don't think it's gender specific. I HATE the thought of my ex having sex with someone else. It's nothing to do with the act itself. Like you say, sex is sex. Even if you can't do it yourself, some people can have casual, relatively meaningless sex. I've done it since I broke up with my sex. But the sex with my ex was so far beyond what I experienced before and since; because we were in love. The fear is that he will experience this with someone else. I want him to be happy but the thought also makes me feel deeply sad because of how I feel about what we meant to each other. I don't know anything about what he's feeling but if I know he's sleeping with someone, that fear is there. Link to post Share on other sites
cocorico Posted November 24, 2017 Share Posted November 24, 2017 Ive notice that men ( even on these forums) hate the thought of their exes having SEX with someone else. They hate the idea of that even though they may have been the dumpee. Why worry so much about them having sex? Why is everything else ok like kissing other guys, cuddling, dating ect ok?? Like, emotional connection with someone else! Sex is just sex after all...no? What's the logic ? As a wise person told me...." You can't make sense out of none sense ". But what's the deal? It depends on the guy, and the situation, I guess. My ah was really relieved to discover his xW had a BF, as he thought it would stop her hassling him to get back together. (It didn’t, sadly.) I’d imagine it depends on whether they want to maintain that link or not. Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted November 24, 2017 Share Posted November 24, 2017 I really didn't care what my ex did. The faster she moved on, the better, IMO, as she'd have less reason to bug me about anything. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Fair Posted November 24, 2017 Share Posted November 24, 2017 Everyone is going to care what their ex does if they're not over them yet, no matter what it is. The cure? Deal with your feelings, don't deny them... to deny is to DELAY and go find someone better and be happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted November 24, 2017 Share Posted November 24, 2017 Uh... why is your ex even talking to you about sex or about who you're having sex with....? I've never had an issue with an ex hating it because I don't talk to my exes about sex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 24, 2017 Share Posted November 24, 2017 OP, I've never known a woman who was too happy about her ex having sex with another woman either. I think people just don't want to think about their ex having sex with someone else and it doesn't mean they want them back either. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 24, 2017 Share Posted November 24, 2017 i'm usually the dumper and I've never cared about exes having sex with other men. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted November 24, 2017 Share Posted November 24, 2017 It never bothered me, in fact I found the opposite to be true. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 24, 2017 Share Posted November 24, 2017 Your first mistake is to connect logic and emotions. Emotions very often AREN'T logical - it's the reason people in love make the mistakes they do. Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlett.O'hara Posted November 24, 2017 Share Posted November 24, 2017 Clearly not every man feels this way. I assume that the ones that do are either doing it because they are not ready to let go, or they are just sexually territorial and possessive about their exes, especially if they want to keep them around as an "option" in the future. Some women are the same too. I think it's mainly about control, jealousy, and possessiveness. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SpinScratch Posted November 24, 2017 Share Posted November 24, 2017 I mean... at first it stings. But a couple months down the road? Who cares? Jealousy is part of being a human. Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 (edited) This should say "women" , and men, or just ex's in general. Because not too many women are happy about him with someone new either, even if she did the leaving. Edited November 26, 2017 by Chilli Link to post Share on other sites
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