Aristotototopolous Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 I've not really got a lot of experience with girls but there's this girl who I started talking to a few months ago. Today however was the first day since then we haven't talked. She didn't make any attempt to initiate. More recently I had to initiate more often than her but we could talk for hours on end and she responds every time. She did early on initiate most times however. But not initiating talking to me today, I didn't talk to her either and I was just wondering if you was in my situation what would you think of it. Am I overthinking or does she actually not want to speak to me? Just to say we are friends too but I don't want to initiate in case she is annoyed or finds replying to me to be a chore, as immature as it may sound. Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 If a girl not 'initiating' with you for a single day is making you panic and rage and swear and second-guess yourself, that suggests that you're probably too nervous and wrapped up in this to interact normally. Do you have any other female friends? Or male friends? Do you freak out if they don't talk to you every single day? Do you have more-than-friendly intentions towards this girl, and does she actually KNOW that? Because it sounds kind of like you may be setting yourself up for disaster here. It sounds like you may be madly infatuated with this girl, who doesn't have any idea and thinks you're just friends, and then at some point you will suddenly explode at her about not meeting your expectations, and she will be baffled and hurt and feel that you have just been using her all along. I could be wrong. But while it's great to be friends before dating, it's not great to obsess over someone you're friends with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aristotototopolous Posted November 21, 2017 Author Share Posted November 21, 2017 Well mate, that is true. Maybe I just am overanalysing how infatuated I am and that's not good lol. I've tried before to ask her to meet me and she's asked me to meet her before. We are in a really awkward situation so I wouldn't have asked her to meet up if I didn't have any intentions. I appreciate the response though mate the neediness is very worrying from what you're saying Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted November 22, 2017 Share Posted November 22, 2017 Aristo, don't be concerned if she doesn't initiate talking with you. A woman welcomes a guy to initiate if she likes him and seems she likes you since she's asked you to meet up with her before. In fact, most women love a guy to be the one to initiate. Sounds as if you may be a little shy so that she initiated a lot at first and is now trying to put the ball in your court as the initiator. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 22, 2017 Share Posted November 22, 2017 Three things are at play here. 1. You have to stop keeping score. If your routine has been to talk daily, then you should have picked up the phone & talked to her not sat on your hands & whined because she didn't initiate. 2. Talking with no plan to meet is a waste of everybody's time. Every time she asked to meet & you found a reason not to go was one more time she concluded you didn't care. You have rejected her so often & now you didn't reach out so she has probably concluded that you are done with her. From the info she's receiving -- you not calling when she doesn't & your failure to meet her -- her conclusion is logical. The only awkwardness in your situation was caused by you, not her. 3. It's a holiday week in the US. She may be legitimately busy with travel or food prep. Everybody gets a buy 'til Monday because you have no idea what is going on in their lives. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aristotototopolous Posted November 22, 2017 Author Share Posted November 22, 2017 Three things are at play here. 1. You have to stop keeping score. If your routine has been to talk daily, then you should have picked up the phone & talked to her not sat on your hands & whined because she didn't initiate. 2. Talking with no plan to meet is a waste of everybody's time. Every time she asked to meet & you found a reason not to go was one more time she concluded you didn't care. You have rejected her so often & now you didn't reach out so she has probably concluded that you are done with her. From the info she's receiving -- you not calling when she doesn't & your failure to meet her -- her conclusion is logical. The only awkwardness in your situation was caused by you, not her. 3. It's a holiday week in the US. She may be legitimately busy with travel or food prep. Everybody gets a buy 'til Monday because you have no idea what is going on in their lives. Hell buddy, I get ya but we both asked each other out once and both had legitimate reasons for not meeting up. So I don't think it's that and I live in the U.K. so it ain't the third one either. Basically though I get this impression I've annoyed her or bored her and I don't want to message her in case she is dreading to see the message from me. I didn't message her yesterday so should I just do it today? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 22, 2017 Share Posted November 22, 2017 I'm a woman not your buddy. Yes you should messenger her if you want to talk to her. How else will it happen? Have you ever met? You said the talking has been going on for months? All that back & forth without an actual meet gets boring quickly. You admit to having limited experience. I have a lot of experience . . . .do you want a pen pal or a GF? If the later, make a move already. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aristotototopolous Posted November 22, 2017 Author Share Posted November 22, 2017 I'm a woman not your buddy. Yes you should messenger her if you want to talk to her. How else will it happen? Have you ever met? You said the talking has been going on for months? All that back & forth without an actual meet gets boring quickly. You admit to having limited experience. I have a lot of experience . . . .do you want a pen pal or a GF? If the later, make a move already. That was just an address lol, I guess that over in America you use buddy for a different reason. Anyways, we have met, we used to be in the same friendship group together, but stuff went down in our group and she stopped coming out with us. Everyone cut contact with her but I didn't. I've talked to her for a while and yeah it's not like I ain't asked to meet up with her since then either. I asked her to meet the other day and she said okay but I ended up getting so badly drunk that I didn't even know where I was lmao. Thanks for the comment anyways. I'll keep persuing Link to post Share on other sites
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