Girlfriend insulted me about something I'm insecure about

[quidaaya]

Two days ago now, my girlfriend, who I've cared for very deeply, insulted the fact that I have not yet gotten my license, (we are both 18). She knows that there is a financial situation there, and that I'm trying to get it taken care of, and it bothers me that I don't have my license either, and she knows that, but while I was trying to comfort her after a long day, I said (jokingly) that we should get a bird that we can fly around on, and she told me "No, cause i don't want to have to tend to it, I want you to get your f*cking license so I can sleep in the car." I know it may seem petty, but this has been eating away at me for a few days (considering she has gotten mad at me multiple other times because of it). We talked about how it made me feel, and she was getting upset at me and then upset at herself, and I felt bad for feeling hurt by what she said. I can't look at her the same anymore, but I still love her, and I feel bad for saying those words. Can anyone give me any advice?

[d0nnivain]

She insulted you. You reacted. She needs to apologize for hurting your feelings. Since she knows this is a sensitive subject for you, it's cruel of her to bring it up repeatedly. If she does it again, you need to consider that you may be dating a mean person & give some real thought to whether you want to continue

[darkmoon]

advice? if her tone of voice was hostile, red flag, not petty at all

 

maybe this is a one off red flag, but be aware that she can be (seems) unpleasant, there are other nicer ways to say things

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Why does she want to sleep in your car?

[joseb]

Why does she want to sleep in your car?

 

Indeed. What's that about?

 

And why does she need *you* to have a license?

I'm assuming she has her own, given how much she values having one?

[Gaeta]

Tell her if she's not happy she can get her own licence and her own car.

[thefooloftheyear]

Tell her to stick it....Do what you think is right for you...I mean, I can see some issue of you were 35 and didn't have a license/car, but 18?

 

You are only seeing the tip of the iceberg, kid..

 

TFY

[road]

His post is not written clear, so I find it confusing.

Though I do know this; it is not expensive to get a license.

 

Car ownership is not a requirement. A friend or family member

that will take you for your road test.

[gaius]

Stop with the excuses and get your license. Crowd source the 100 bucks if you need too. And be grateful you have a woman in your life who's willing to call you out when you're being nonsensical.

[snowboy91]

... I said (jokingly) that we should get a bird that we can fly around on, and she told me "No, cause i don't want to have to tend to it, I want you to get your f*cking license so I can sleep in the car."...

 

Wow, does she know what a joke is? That just sounds like she wants you to do all the work (drive her around while she sleeps). Not OK.

 

If you're doing fine without a licence (for instance, there is good public transport where you live) there is no rush. If she's the one driving you around all the time I can understand why she said what she said (even though it came across a bit harsh). But it seems she doesn't understand whatever barriers are in the way of you getting your licence.

 

I don't know how expensive it is to get your licence where you are, but I can't expect it to be that expensive given how much people rely on cars. Getting your own car is a much more costly matter, but it doesn't mean you can't get a licence and drive other people's cars (if they let you)!