lbh33 Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 (edited) Okay, I have to be honest that dating again and considering new potentially serious relationships is somewhat scary. I don't think I'm overly paranoid about things and I plan to trust my partner but the fact that nearly 50% of men cheat on their partners or wives down the road is honestly terrifying to me. Does anyone else ever think about this and how do you not let it bother you? haha. Edited November 17, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 A 50% chance of a man being a cheater means there's a 50% chance that he isn't a cheater. That's pretty good odds, I'd say! Especially since you don't get only 1 bite at the cherry. If one cheats, you dump him and find another; that gives you a 75% chance of finding a non-cheater. And if you're in the 25% that get cheated on twice, you move on to a 3rd, giving you an 87.5% chance of finding a non-cheater. I think the odds are quite heavily stacked in your favour, here. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 I wonder how accurate the 50% is? I mean, there's also a big difference between '50% of men have cheated on a partner at some point in their life', and '50% of men will cheat on any partner, given the chance'. Which is it? A 30 year old guy who made one impulsive mistake at 18 may well never do so again, but does he still count as a cheater? Link to post Share on other sites
kassy Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 Maybe talk to a counselor if you are really struggling with this 2 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 "nearly 50% of men cheat on their partners or wives" means that more don't cheat than do. Have you been cheated on before and is that what's causing you to view the facts you presented so pessimistically? Link to post Share on other sites
Zippy2000 Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 (edited) Well, let me say this....50%!!? Where do you get your stats from? That's like saying from a sample of 10 men, 5 of them would cheat. This is absolute tosh! If you want reassurance. I'm a man. I would nt be cheating if I were happy in my relationship. People cheat for different reasons. Something lacking in their relations. Whether it be financial gain, emotional support, or sex. I DOUBT out of the 5 that would cheat they would for the same thing. Edited November 17, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 I assume you're also interested in how men cope with cheating women..... 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 Yeah ,l think women cheat just as much these days. But nope l wouldn't say 50% at all and being male so really knowing guys all my life , actually not that many l've known cheat. But it's a bit like getting married now for a guy , why would you when women are suppose to do 75% of the divorcing now, and a helluva lot of that is running off with other men. God , now l'm depressed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 I have honestly never thought about it. I dated quality men of integrity. Try that. Don't assume you will be cheated on. Do be vigilant & attentive in your relationship. If you see behavior that you don't like, make inquiry. If you suspect cheating or you don't like how you are treated, break up. On some level it's about your own self esteem. What are you willing to put up with? But you can't assume that every time your partner doesn't text you back instantly, fails to text good morning or works late that it's a cheating situation. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 (edited) I have honestly never thought about it. I dated quality men of integrity. Try that. Don't assume you will be cheated on. Do be vigilant & attentive in your relationship. If you see behavior that you don't like, make inquiry. If you suspect cheating or you don't like how you are treated, break up. On some level it's about your own self esteem. What are you willing to put up with? But you can't assume that every time your partner doesn't text you back instantly, fails to text good morning or works late that it's a cheating situation. Precisely. Not every man has the mindset to cheat just like not every woman has it in her mind to cheat. Going into a relationship being paranoid may not drive your partner to cheat necessarily but it WILL drive you apart. No one wants to date an insecure person after all. I'm a firm believer that we attract not what we want but who we are. This is why it's so important to invest the time and energy in being the kind of person you want to date. You want a man of integrity? Then BE a woman of integrity. You want a man who is confident and secure? Then BE a woman who is confident and secure. Dating someone in the hopes they will somehow complete you is one of the BIGGEST mistakes you can ever make. There is no room for paranoia or insecurity in a healthy relationship and if you feel it, then it's a sign to let go. Be the best version of yourself and you will inevitably attract the best version of a man. Good luck. Edited November 17, 2017 by Michelle ma Belle 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 (edited) Okay, I have to be honest that dating again and considering new potentially serious relationships is somewhat scary. I don't think I'm overly paranoid about things and I plan to trust my partner but the fact that nearly 50% of men cheat on their partners or wives down the road is honestly terrifying to me. Does anyone else ever think about this and how do you not let it bother you? haha. Do you drive your car everyday worrying that you will be in an accident? Living with the what if's diminishes the what's now. Pay attention to the road signs, trust that YOUR car is reliable on be focused. Cross the bridges that need to be crossed when you get to them. You cannot prevent someone from cheating on you or know ahead of time. Just be a strong enough woman to be able to stand on your own at any time. Hope for the best, be prepared for the worst if it happens by being a strong, secure woman at all times. You can't prevent things from happening, what you can do is know that you can handle anything that comes your way. And instead of thinking negatively, turn this around. It's roughly a 50/50 chance. So instead of saying what if he cheats, make it what if he doesn't Edited November 17, 2017 by Redhead14 2 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 Okay, I have to be honest that dating again and considering new potentially serious relationships is somewhat scary. I don't think I'm overly paranoid about things and I plan to trust my partner but the fact that nearly 50% of men cheat on their partners or wives down the road is honestly terrifying to me. Does anyone else ever think about this and how do you not let it bother you? haha. men and women cheat at about the same rate 2 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 I mean, seriously, unless the guy is homosexual or into bestiality, he's cheating with a woman Link to post Share on other sites
BarbedFenceRider Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 Well, then I found this.... Women Are Now Cheating As Much As Men * I love that NYmag has a "beta male" site. WTF? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CptInsano Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 I mean, seriously, unless the guy is homosexual or into bestiality, he's cheating with a woman Well, it's however possible than more than one man cheats on his spouse with the same woman, so the percentages of cheating men to cheating women can definitely vary, and as far as I know they have only recently reached parity. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lbh33 Posted November 17, 2017 Author Share Posted November 17, 2017 I assume you're also interested in how men cope with cheating women..... Honestly no I'm not bc I'm not interested in dating women. I did not intend this to be an argument of who cheats more, I'm stating what specifically makes me think. And this isn't a direct response to your answer but in general I was just curious if anyone has actually thought about this and been freaked out. I don't think I have security issues, I just think about things and having studied evolutionary psychology, I am aware of the human nature of man to desire various sex partners. It's a natural impulse for them. It kind of freaks me out. Not enough to make me distrust them all forever. Just a weird thing that is weird to think about and when you've just began dating a little freaky. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shanex Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 Not sure where you got your 1 in 2 men cheat stat. I know 1 in 2 marriage ends up in divorce though. By the way, if these men are cheating. I assume they are only cheating with single ladies anyway, if you know what I snarkily imply. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 Well, it's however possible than more than one man cheats on his spouse with the same woman, so the percentages of cheating men to cheating women can definitely vary, and as far as I know they have only recently reached parity. Very true, as have the MW's I've known been concurrently sexually active with more than one man at a time, and emotionally unfaithful with others, again concurrently. It's really hard to pin any hard stats on stuff because, well, humans lie. However, if a woman tells me directly she's having sex with more than one man, I tend to believe her. I deal with it through trust, but verify. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 I was just curious if anyone has actually thought about this and been freaked out. I don't think I have security issues, I just think about things and having studied evolutionary psychology, I am aware of the human nature of man to desire various sex partners. It's a natural impulse for them. It kind of freaks me out. Not enough to make me distrust them all forever. Just a weird thing that is weird to think about and when you've just began dating a little freaky. To answer your question in bold - No, never. I study psychology (and millions of people do) and have done for years for 'fun' so I don't think your fear is likely to be linked to that. If this is freaking you out before even meeting anyone or dating I would suggest you get some counselling. It's not a rational fear to the extent you are experiencing it. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 I just think about things and having studied evolutionary psychology, I am aware of the human nature of man to desire various sex partners. It's a natural impulse for them. It kind of freaks me out. Not enough to make me distrust them all forever. Just a weird thing that is weird to think about and when you've just began dating a little freaky. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Yes, there may have once been an evolutionary instinct to procreate with multiple partners to propagate the species but most evolved people can rise above their most primal instincts. Try dating more evolved men who have the ability to exercise self control. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 Yeah sociology degree here (so I have studied relationships and human interaction a bit). Honestly I have *never* had some base line concern that "men are cheaters". Never been part of my consciousness. And I have cheated, and have been cheated on, so there's that (and for me its not as apocalyptic as it so for others). Do take note of the people you choose to date. If they are the types drawn to monogamy or instead have a penchant for casual sex. Link to post Share on other sites
vanhalenfan Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 Do you drive your car everyday worrying that you will be in an accident? Living with the what if's diminishes the what's now. Pay attention to the road signs, trust that YOUR car is reliable on be focused. Cross the bridges that need to be crossed when you get to them. You cannot prevent someone from cheating on you or know ahead of time. Just be a strong enough woman to be able to stand on your own at any time. Hope for the best, be prepared for the worst if it happens by being a strong, secure woman at all times. You can't prevent things from happening, what you can do is know that you can handle anything that comes your way. And instead of thinking negatively, turn this around. It's roughly a 50/50 chance. So instead of saying what if he cheats, make it what if he doesn't This is a great response here. Totally agree about always being a secure and strong woman at all times. Confidence and self-esteem is vital! Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 No, I haven't been freaked out by it. Some people cheat and there are no guarantees in life. It is what it is. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 You can never guarantee that a man will not cheat. But, you can chose to marry a good man who values honesty, trust, and fidelity and shows you these values in their actions. Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 A large percentage of men in the world also have a different religion than you do. So, if religion matters to you, you don't marry those men. (Marrying someone of a different religion than you are is fine too I was just trying to make a point about how it doesn't matter if there are millions of people in the world who aren't what you're looking for, screen them out and look for what you do want) Link to post Share on other sites
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